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Withholding order recieved even though I pay faithfully

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secondclass

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mass

I and my employer have recieved a letter of withholding out of the blue.

For the last 10 years, I have paid my CS faithfully per my original court order.

I replied to the aforementioned letter with the requested PROOF that I am paying and do not owe any support. This proof was in the form of my checks carbon copies which shows the payees name/date/amount.
I sent them the last 8 months worth of copies, and informed them that I could provide them with years worth if requested.

This letter seems to have gone unanswered, and the state seems to be moving forward with the withholding regardless of the proof I sent and the fact that I have a court order to make regular payments. ( I just mailed a check 4 days ago)

I would like to know what kind of rights, and abilities I have under these circumstances because I feel the state has absolutely no right to withhold my earnings based on a phone call by my childs mother, and the proof that I readily provided them.

thank you
 
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sandyclaus

Senior Member
secondclass said:
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mass

I and my employer have recieved a letter of withholding out of the blue.

For the last 10 years, I have paid my CS faithfully per my original court order.

I replied to the aforementioned letter with the requested PROOF that I am paying and do not owe any support. This proof was in the form of my checks carbon copies which shows the payees name/date/amount.
I sent them the last 8 months worth of copies, and informed them that I could provide them with years worth if requested.

This letter seems to have gone unanswered, and the state seems to be moving forward with the withholding regardless of the proof I sent and the fact that I have a court order to make regular payments. ( I just mailed a check 4 days ago)

I would like to know what kind of rights, and abilities I have under these circumstances because I feel the state has absolutely no right to withhold my earnings based on a phone call by my childs mother, and the proof that I readily provided them.

thank you
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You say that you have paid your CS faithfully for the past 10 years. Have those payments EVER been late or delayed? Are you absolutely sure there are no arrears?

Some states do not require that there be arrears for a withholding order to be put into effect. If the CP chooses, they can simply request that CS be automatically withheld from wages in order to avoid any possible issues with regular payments.

Look at it this way - now you don't have to remember to send the checks anymore. It will be done for you automatically, and you never have to worry about the possibility of making a late payment ever again.
 
S

secondclass

Junior Member
They have been late occasionally due to my checks not being paid on weekends that i make a payment.
When things like this happen, there has always been communication on my part, and even cash payments made to "keep the peace".

Between her and her husband, they make 3 times what I make, so the money is mainly used as bubblegum money, and my daughter doesnt reap any "direct" benefit other than the norm, roof over head, clothes on back, etc.. i would mention food on the table, but mom doesnt cook, so this is a completely different story, and one that may prompt me to look @ hiring a lawyer for custody.
Mom has hurt her back, not currently working, and has developed quite a drinking problem. One that often prompts my child to call me and ask to come over because, "moms drinking again".
In additional, mom has sort of adopted a "do whatever" attitude, and pay's little attention to whats going on in my daughters life, which has caused several outbursts from my daughter. Outbursts which I feel is a cry for attention from my daughter.

The reason I mention the other facts above is becaue I feel this withholding order has come as a result of all the things going on in mom's life.

Its beginning to turn into a rather lousy situation, but as a honest, loving and active father, I feel that its my responsibility to make these payments, and taking it out of my hands feel like a kick to the groin, as if Im not "able" to perform the duties that I said I would.

Sorry for the long post, but I appreciate the reply.
 
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sandyclaus

Senior Member
secondclass said:
They have been late occasionally due to my checks not being paid on weekends that i make a payment.
When things like this happen, there has always been communication on my part, and even cash payments made to "keep the peace".

Between her and her husband, they make 3 times what I make, so the money is mainly used as bubblegum money, and my daughter doesnt reap any "direct" benefit other than the norm, roof over head, clothes on back, etc.. i would mention food on the table, but mom doesnt cook, so this is a completely different story, and one that may prompt me to look @ hiring a lawyer for custody.
Mom has hurt her back, not currently working, and has developed quite a drinking problem. One that often prompts my child to call me and ask to come over because, "moms drinking again".
In additional, mom has sort of adopted a "do whatever" attitude, and pay's little attention to whats going on in my daughters life, which has caused several outbursts from my daughter. Outbursts which I feel is a cry for attention from my daughter.

The reason I mention the other facts above is becaue I feel this withholding order has come as a result of all the things going on in mom's life.

Its beginning to turn into a rather lousy situation, but as a honest, loving and active father, I feel that its my responsibility to make these payments, and taking it out of my hands feel like a kick to the groin, as if Im not "able" to perform the duties that I said I would.

Sorry for the long post, but I appreciate the reply.
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You go right ahead and file for a change in custody if you think it will help. But your hurt feelings over having CS withheld from your wages really is irrelevant to all of that. CS, custody, and visitation, all different elements. At least it handles the financial obligation for you.
 
TheGeekess

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
secondclass said:
They have been late occasionally due to my checks not being paid on weekends that i make a payment.
When things like this happen, there has always been communication on my part, and even cash payments made to "keep the peace".

Between her and her husband, they make 3 times what I make, so the money is mainly used as bubblegum money, and my daughter doesnt reap any "direct" benefit other than the norm, roof over head, clothes on back, etc.. i would mention food on the table, but mom doesnt cook, so this is a completely different story, and one that may prompt me to look @ hiring a lawyer for custody.
Mom has hurt her back, not currently working, and has developed quite a drinking problem. One that often prompts my child to call me and ask to come over because, "moms drinking again".
In additional, mom has sort of adopted a "do whatever" attitude, and pay's little attention to whats going on in my daughters life, which has caused several outbursts from my daughter. Outbursts which I feel is a cry for attention from my daughter.

The reason I mention the other facts above is becaue I feel this withholding order has come as a result of all the things going on in mom's life.

Its beginning to turn into a rather lousy situation, but as a honest, loving and active father, I feel that its my responsibility to make these payments, and taking it out of my hands feel like a kick to the groin, as if Im not "able" to perform the duties that I said I would.

Sorry for the long post, but I appreciate the reply.
Click to expand...
Nothing you've posted rises to the point of getting custody changed.

And this is about your pride; get over it. :cool:
 
S

SESmama

Member
Actually I see it as mom, if she hurt her back, making it easier to "deposit" said money. Many CSE offices have the ability to get the money directly from the paycheck and have it direct deposited into the payee's account of choice. It isn't a bad thing. Think of it as protection for you. The state keeps the accounting so you don't have to. The state gets the money when you get your aycheck and it is no longer considered "late". A good thing all around in my opinion. My ex feels that it doesn't throw the whole "writing my life away to my ex" feeling in his face each time. He never sees the money so it never "leaves" his hands.
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
SESmama said:
Actually I see it as mom, if she hurt her back, making it easier to "deposit" said money. Many CSE offices have the ability to get the money directly from the paycheck and have it direct deposited into the payee's account of choice. It isn't a bad thing. Think of it as protection for you. The state keeps the accounting so you don't have to. The state gets the money when you get your aycheck and it is no longer considered "late". A good thing all around in my opinion. My ex feels that it doesn't throw the whole "writing my life away to my ex" feeling in his face each time. He never sees the money so it never "leaves" his hands.
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I agree. I wouldn't worry about it. However, I would ask for an accounting at the beginning to make sure that Mom isn't claiming that there are arrears or that the state is claiming something.
 
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2Mistakes

Senior Member
I just want to echo what several others have said...it really is easier to have it withheld automatically.

I too used to pay child support directly, never late with a payment.

The mother of my child got mad at me for something not related to child support and decided "to teach me a lesson" by "getting me garnished." (Her words.)

It was honestly the best thing she did. I don't have to worry about getting a money order every month. (LA CSE doesn't accept personal checks, money order only.) Don't have to worry about if I have a stamp to mail it. Don't have to worry about remembering to put it in the mailbox.

It comes out before I even see it. Outta sight, outta mind. Don't look at this as a bad thing. It's actually quite liberating.
 
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meanyjack

Member
I would also add to what others said.

There's nothing wrong with having it garnished (unless your employer charges a fee, which some states do allow, then, depending on how much you owe per month, it could be something significant).

But, if you have specific language in your order stating you are to pay directly or something similar, you need to send a copy of that order to the CSEA.

With a garnishment, your ex has no reason to b*tch because it is NOW out of your hands. In fact, she might find herself waiting LONGER to receive $$ because the employer has to disperse it (and they have their own schedules of doing it), then the state disperses it. If she claims she's not getting the $$ "on time" that's not your problem nor your responsibility.
 
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LilTwyt

Junior Member
secondclass said:
I would like to know what kind of rights, and abilities I have under these circumstances because I feel the state has absolutely no right to withhold my earnings based on a phone call by my childs mother, and the proof that I readily provided them.
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Oh give me a break! That was the last bit of control you had over Mom and now it's gone. Deal with it.
 
Just Blue

Just Blue

Senior Member
LilTwyt said:
Oh give me a break! That was the last bit of control you had over Mom and now it's gone. Deal with it.
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I just love how apropos your user name is!! :rolleyes:

-------------------------

Secondclass:

DOR order of withholding does not = Deadbeat parent.

The DOR will deal with the withholding and keep records so that BOTH parents have State records in case of an issue. They also deposit the monies on a credit card which is rather convenient for the recipient of the CS.

Please do not take the order as a personal slight against you. It really is NOT a biggie. :)
 
S

SESmama

Member
meanyjack said:
With a garnishment, your ex has no reason to b*tch because it is NOW out of your hands. In fact, she might find herself waiting LONGER to receive $$ because the employer has to disperse it (and they have their own schedules of doing it), then the state disperses it. If she claims she's not getting the $$ "on time" that's not your problem nor your responsibility.
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I might also add that it teaches one to learn to live within their budget. Taught me a VERY valuable lesson on that.

OP, thisis not to say you don't pay but the best advice I got here was to NEVER count on CS and to live with what I make. If the CP learns to live without the CS if it ever comes to the point that your job, or God forbid, your life then you know that mom and child can live on what she makes.

A very valuable lesson indeed.
 
S

secondclass

Junior Member
LilTwyt said:
Oh give me a break! That was the last bit of control you had over Mom and now it's gone. Deal with it.
Click to expand...
Nothing to do with control, really..
I look at it as nothing more than a financial agreement between 2 parties, and there was always a bit of wiggle room.

For instance, I buy my child school clothes and supplies before the school year. As a result, I cannot pay the full support on the day I typically pay, but instead, I sent the check and simply ask that it not be cashed until the following pay week because I bought the kid stuff for school.

It was never a problem in the past, and there was always communication about it.

This isnt a 1-sided, or a black/white situation. Im a very active father, and take very good care of my child both mentally, physically and financially. So, to have mom do this without notification or provocation feels like Ive done something wrong.

Maybe I am prowd, so what? I still take care of my child. Isnt that what Im supposed to do?
This just breeds contempt.

Thank for all the replies.
 
Just Blue

Just Blue

Senior Member
secondclass said:
Nothing to do with control, really..
I look at it as nothing more than a financial agreement between 2 parties, and there was always a bit of wiggle room.

For instance, I buy my child school clothes and supplies before the school year. As a result, I cannot pay the full support on the day I typically pay, but instead, I sent the check and simply ask that it not be cashed until the following pay week because I bought the kid stuff for school.

It was never a problem in the past, and there was always communication about it.

This isnt a 1-sided, or a black/white situation. Im a very active father, and take very good care of my child both mentally, physically and financially. So, to have mom do this without notification or provocation feels like Ive done something wrong.

Maybe I am prowd, so what? I still take care of my child. Isnt that what Im supposed to do?
This just breeds contempt.

Thank for all the replies.
Click to expand...
A DOR order is NOT contemptuous. And the court order support, unless said order states otherwise, covers school cloths.

As you seem to have, thus far, a decent relationship with Mom...Have you discussed this with her RATIONALLY?:confused:
 
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