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Am I legally the father?

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COUNTRYGUYDREAM

Junior Member
The child was born in Colorado. I signed the birth certificate. After 10 years I questioned the mother and she rejected my request for a paternity test. 3 years after that she went through a group to take me to court for child support. She never showed up to court, so I did my part of the paternity test but she did not do her part nor show up to court on her end. The judge dismissed the case. 5 years after that she sends me a letter requesting I get it notarized and sign it saying "I am the father and I authorize the mother to take the child to another country" because she's seeking employment in that country. She says I'm still legally the child's father. How I am "legally" the father? What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I reside in Texas
 


C

COUNTRYGUYDREAM

Junior Member
ecmst12 said:
The child was 18 at the time she asked you to sign the letter. What does it matter?
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I'm sorry, the child is 17 now. If i was to notarize and sign this letter will that put me in a position of me saying I am the father and obligating me to pay child support?
 
P

Proserpina

Senior Member
COUNTRYGUYDREAM said:
The child was born in Colorado. I signed the birth certificate. After 10 years I questioned the mother and she rejected my request for a paternity test. 3 years after that she went through a group to take me to court for child support. She never showed up to court, so I did my part of the paternity test but she did not do her part nor show up to court on her end. The judge dismissed the case. 5 years after that she sends me a letter requesting I get it notarized and sign it saying "I am the father and I authorize the mother to take the child to another country" because she's seeking employment in that country. She says I'm still legally the child's father. How I am "legally" the father? What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I reside in Texas
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It sounds as if the case was dismissed - in other words, paternity was NOT disestablished.

Hence you're still the legal father.
 
M

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Proserpina said:
It sounds as if the case was dismissed - in other words, paternity was NOT disestablished.

Hence you're still the legal father.
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Which means that OP could still be on the hook for CS - possibly retroactive in some states (I haven't checked in OP's state).

Mom can get a passport without your signature since she has sole custody. If it's a matter of authorization letters, make sure that the country she is going to requires it. Many do not. If the country DOES require it, I would talk with an attorney to make sure you understand all the possible repercussions if you sign.
 
E

ecmst12

Senior Member
Sounds to me like the dismissed case means he was not ESTABLISHED as the legal father and that's why no CS was ordered then.
 
P

Proserpina

Senior Member
ecmst12 said:
Sounds to me like the dismissed case means he was not ESTABLISHED as the legal father and that's why no CS was ordered then.
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He's on the birth certificate - in that state, that means he signed something along the lines of a paternity affidavit (even that far back).

It was a child support hearing - Mom didn't show, and it was dismissed. Hence he's likely still the legal father.
 
S

swalsh411

Senior Member
Proserpina said:
Oh, I don't know - because it might be in the best interest of THE CHILD?
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The child will be an adult in, at most, a year?

If what the OP is saying is true, I wouldn't give that b*tch the time of day let alone even consider signing something that would help her. To ignore the likely, or at least probable, father of your child for nearly two decades and then come begging for him to sign some letter? Puleeze.
 
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Proserpina

Senior Member
swalsh411 said:
The child will be an adult in, at most, a year?

If what the OP is saying is true, I wouldn't give that b*tch the time of day let alone even consider signing something that would help her. To ignore the likely, or at least probable, father of your child for nearly two decades and then come begging for him to sign some letter? Puleeze.
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And clearly, you don't give a hoot about the minor's best interests. It's more about getting back at Mom.

Sorry, I don't subscribe to that selfish way of thinking.
 
M

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Proserpina said:
And clearly, you don't give a hoot about the minor's best interests. It's more about getting back at Mom.

Sorry, I don't subscribe to that selfish way of thinking.
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And we know that relocating to another country is in the child's best interests because......?

There's plenty of blame to go around. OP didn't pursue paternity and he could have been a part of the child's life. Mom could have done the court-ordered paternity test. I don't think I'd necessarily do anything, either. Rather, I would talk to Mom and find out why she feels that it's in a 17 year old's best interests to be taken out of the country. Then, if it really is best for the child, I would sign the document.
 
P

Proserpina

Senior Member
mistoffolees said:
And we know that relocating to another country is in the child's best interests because......?
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We don't. If you read my post again, you'll notice I used the word "might", in response to swalsh.

There's plenty of blame to go around. OP didn't pursue paternity and he could have been a part of the child's life. Mom could have done the court-ordered paternity test. I don't think I'd necessarily do anything, either. Rather, I would talk to Mom and find out why she feels that it's in a 17 year old's best interests to be taken out of the country. Then, if it really is best for the child, I would sign the document.
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Legally you would have that option. It would be your legal right.

Genuine concern for the teen's welfare is one thing - I'm not objecting to that for one second even if it's an absentee (for whatever reason) parent.

But objecting just because (and this is what swalsh is saying, clearly) you're pissed off at Mom? An inherently selfish act and one not in the child's best interest.

However, given that the original question was posted in "child support", it's not unreasonable to deduce where the real concern lies here.

:cool:
 
P

Proseguru

Member
What country? North Korea? Egypt? Iran?

Would make a difference to me.

I would only even consider signing it if it were a NATO country.
 
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