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Divorced parent of an adopted foster care child

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kjonyc

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

My ex and I have two adopted foster care children 12 and 19 (the 19 year old is in Alabama, no longer living with either of us) We have been divorced now for 8 years. In the initial agreement I was told I did not have to pay child support due to my financial situation. I was paying my ex anyway..not an official agreement, but our own. I stopped paying her just recently (for many reasons, one of which was that I didn't think the money was going for the kids). She still receives money from the state as well as healthcare is taken care of via the state for the 12 year old.

Recently I received a child support modification from the court. She feels as if my situation has changed and she is now demanding child support to be paid.

My financial situation is the same. In fact I recently filed for bankruptcy and we may lose our house.

My question is: Can she request this since she is still getting money from the state? What generally can I expect at this juncture? I do not have the money for a lawyer and feel as if I am backed against a wall.

I have no problem paying but am concerned about where it goes as well as what the amount would be. I am so worried that we will lose our house.

Which ultimately would effect the kids. Any advice would be appreciated.





What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

My ex and I have two adopted foster care children 12 and 19 (the 19 year old is in Alabama, no longer living with either of us) We have been divorced now for 8 years. In the initial agreement I was told I did not have to pay child support due to my financial situation. I was paying my ex anyway..not an official agreement, but our own. I stopped paying her just recently (for many reasons, one of which was that I didn't think the money was going for the kids). She still receives money from the state as well as healthcare is taken care of via the state for the 12 year old.

Recently I received a child support modification from the court. She feels as if my situation has changed and she is now demanding child support to be paid.

My financial situation is the same. In fact I recently filed for bankruptcy and we may lose our house.

My question is: Can she request this since she is still getting money from the state? What generally can I expect at this juncture? I do not have the money for a lawyer and feel as if I am backed against a wall.

I have no problem paying but am concerned about where it goes as well as what the amount would be. I am so worried that we will lose our house.

Which ultimately would effect the kids. Any advice would be appreciated.


What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

It's probably the STATE suing you for CS. Why should the taxpayers be responsible for supporting your children? :cool:
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

My ex and I have two adopted foster care children 12 and 19 (the 19 year old is in Alabama, no longer living with either of us) We have been divorced now for 8 years. In the initial agreement I was told I did not have to pay child support due to my financial situation. I was paying my ex anyway..not an official agreement, but our own. I stopped paying her just recently (for many reasons, one of which was that I didn't think the money was going for the kids). She still receives money from the state as well as healthcare is taken care of via the state for the 12 year old.

Recently I received a child support modification from the court. She feels as if my situation has changed and she is now demanding child support to be paid.

My financial situation is the same. In fact I recently filed for bankruptcy and we may lose our house.

My question is: Can she request this since she is still getting money from the state? What generally can I expect at this juncture? I do not have the money for a lawyer and feel as if I am backed against a wall.

I have no problem paying but am concerned about where it goes as well as what the amount would be. I am so worried that we will lose our house.

Which ultimately would effect the kids. Any advice would be appreciated.





What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
The only advice is to go through the process. You've been served with papers. Do what they tell you to do. Provide documentation of income and so on. The court will determine whether you owe anything or not.

You can always get an idea by googling 'massachusetts child support calculator'.

No point in fretting about it.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
If you could afford to be paying her on your own, then you can afford court ordered child support. You can expect CS to be ordered on the minor child based on your state guidelines and you can expect to pay it or face legal consequences. You can expect that it will be NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS what your ex does with that money or what she spends it on, so long as your child has food in her belly and clothes and a place to sleep.

There is no legal difference between an adopted child and a biological one so I don't know why you felt the need to point that out.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
It's probably the STATE suing you for CS. Why should the taxpayers be responsible for supporting your children? :cool:


Actually, many states Foster Care systems offer an adoption subsidy to parents who adopt out of foster care, because these children bring so much baggage, need for therapies, need for extensive help, that they feel paying support to the adoptive parents is still cheaper than keeping them in foster care. Monthly payments from the state would likely occur whether he paid CS or not. (DH and I adopted internationally, so never rec'd such subsidies, but I know of many Adopt-From-Foster-Care parents who do.)

It is often the case that, unless the state helps, these children would never become someone elses child and would remain a foster child until they aged out. The state became responsible for supporting these kids long before they ever WERE "their kids".
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Actually, many states Foster Care systems offer an adoption subsidy to parents who adopt out of foster care, because these children bring so much baggage, need for therapies, need for extensive help, that they feel paying support to the adoptive parents is still cheaper than keeping them in foster care. Monthly payments from the state would likely occur whether he paid CS or not. (DH and I adopted internationally, so never rec'd such subsidies, but I know of many Adopt-From-Foster-Care parents who do.)

It is often the case that, unless the state helps, these children would never become someone elses child and would remain a foster child until they aged out. The state became responsible for supporting these kids long before they ever WERE "their kids".
While all that is true, that does not mean that both parents are not responsible for contributing to the child's support if they divorce. The fact that the state contributes to the support of special needs adoptees doesn't negate the parent's responsibilities.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
It's probably the STATE suing you for CS. Why should the taxpayers be responsible for supporting your children? :cool:
Children who are adopted out of the foster care program automatically receive those benefits. They receive a monthly stipend and health care. Why? Because they are entitled to it as former foster care children who were adopted.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
If you could afford to be paying her on your own, then you can afford court ordered child support. You can expect CS to be ordered on the minor child based on your state guidelines and you can expect to pay it or face legal consequences. You can expect that it will be NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS what your ex does with that money or what she spends it on, so long as your child has food in her belly and clothes and a place to sleep.

There is no legal difference between an adopted child and a biological one so I don't know why you felt the need to point that out.
There is to the extent of the financial provisions of the state -- such as the stipend and healthcare.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
While all that is true, that does not mean that both parents are not responsible for contributing to the child's support if they divorce. The fact that the state contributes to the support of special needs adoptees doesn't negate the parent's responsibilities.
NO one said it did. But the children would receive those benefits regardless of the parents' contributions or even the parents' incomes.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
NO one said it did. But the children would receive those benefits regardless of the parents' contributions or even the parents' incomes.
Exactly. There are many single parent adoptees of foster kids: the stipend/health care is intended to be sufficient assistance even if no no parent exists. And in many cases, these kids are adopted with no co parent.
 

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