Legal repricutions of a written letter?

My fiance has a 2 year old son with another woman. They had no prior relationship, but a brief intimate encounter. He saw the child a couple of times when he was first born, but hasnt since. there has been no contact between both parents, and he wants to write a letter stating he wishes to have no contact with the child. Legally, how could this hurt us in the future if she chose to seek child support? We tried to get her to sign legitimation Papers, but she refused. She did not put his name on the birth certificate, and several other issues. We decided since she has fought us on any rights, its best we stay out of the childs life since hes so young. She had expressed in the beginning that her family and herself would never take us to court, and offered us a chance to choose to not be in the childs life. I understand though, unlike myfiance, that things change and within 16 more years, she could seek child support, which she would have any right to do so. But id want my fiance to have some rights to the child, as well as visitation if she chose to sue for child support.

Please let me say that we tried for 6 months to see the child and talk to her about having rights to have the child at our place during some weekends. We said that if it took a year or two of us visiting her family's house to see the child before she would allow us, then we underxtood. She never would give us an answer and there were several personal issues going on with her family and my fiance and me. We knew that we'd ultimately have to take her to court for parental rights and visitation. We spent some money on a lawyer for the first step in her signing legitimation papers, but she refused. We.ve spent time deciding that a lifetime of fighting in the childs life is not what is best. But I think it is best to allow her to know what we decided, however I want to make sure legally what the epricutions would be.

I appreciate your time.

mysticmadlove said:

My fiance has a 2 year old son with another woman. They had no prior relationship, but a brief intimate encounter. He saw the child a couple of times when he was first born, but hasnt since. there has been no contact between both parents, and he wants to write a letter stating he wishes to have no contact with the child. Legally, how could this hurt us in the future if she chose to seek child support?

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It's meaningless.

He doesn't have to see the child.

It will not change his child support obligation.

We tried to get her to sign legitimation Papers, but she refused. She did not put his name on the birth certificate, and several other issues.

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She can't refuse if that's actually what DAD wants.

We decided since she has fought us on any rights, its best we stay out of the childs life since hes so young.

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Well, you yourself never have to worry about anything. Dad on other hand - well, he does have a choice here.

She had expressed in the beginning that her family and herself would never take us to court, and offered us a chance to choose to not be in the childs life. I understand though, unlike myfiance, that things change and within 16 more years, she could seek child support, which she would have any right to do so. But id want my fiance to have some rights to the child, as well as visitation if she chose to sue for child support.

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In other words, you both would only want him to see the child if he has to pay?

That doesn't really sound as if either of you are actually thinking of the child's best interest.

Please let me say that we tried for 6 months to see the child and talk to her about having rights to have the child at our place during some weekends. We said that if it took a year or two of us visiting her family's house to see the child before she would allow us, then we underxtood. She never would give us an answer and there were several personal issues going on with her family and my fiance and me. We knew that we'd ultimately have to take her to court for parental rights and visitation. We spent some money on a lawyer for the first step in her signing legitimation papers, but she refused. We.ve spent time deciding that a lifetime of fighting in the childs life is not what is best. But I think it is best to allow her to know what we decided, however I want to make sure legally what the epricutions would be.

I appreciate your time.

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He is, again, free to pretend the child doesn't exist.

But he WILL be held liable for child support if Mom files (or if she goes on certain types of state aid).

You must also understand that this is not your decision. This is purely up to Dad - you're not a legal party to anything.

No no you're being too nice. It's not that she only wants him to see the child if he doesn't have to pay. It's that she doesn't want him to take mom to court for visitation BECAUSE it means he will likely have to pay. To hell with the child, it's all about the money. That's how it always seems to be with meddeling stepparents and significant (or insignificant) others.

ecmst12 said:

No no you're being too nice. It's not that she only wants him to see the child if he doesn't have to pay. It's that she doesn't want him to take mom to court for visitation BECAUSE it means he will likely have to pay. To hell with the child, it's all about the money. That's how it always seems to be with meddeling stepparents and significant (or insignificant) others.

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It was my New Year's resolution

I will agree though with OP on one thing - if that's all Dad is worried about, it's probably best for the child if he DOES stay away. He can simply pay his child support and not worry about anything else.

The child deserves to be loved and wanted by two parents - or, one parent and/or and however many other family members want to share the love.

OP - there is NO "we". The court really will not care what your opinions or thoughts are. If your "man" (and I use the word advisedly) doesn't want to step up to the plate by taking it to court to establish paternity and custody/visitation/support? I would give serious thought as to whether this is a "man" you want to remain involved with. If he is willing to walk away from one child he created? He will be willing to walk away from one he makes with you. This is not a quality dude.

First off, thanks for the reply.

I understand state law regarding child support obligation. I want to know how a letter may affect child visitation if we decided to pursue that in the future.

She is the daughter of a preacher who was sleeping around, and her prgnancy was a shock to the family. She lied and said my fiance took her virginity, which he had to inform them that was not the case. She decided to have the baby and informed us after the baby was born, she did not want his name on the birth certificate.my fiance did not want that cause he wantex to do the right thing. (we had been dating for 6 months before the baby was born)

She did not want to sign legitimation papers cause she does not want him to have any rights to the chikd. We also are not in the place to have the cash to take her to court so we had decided that fighting between two parents is not good to raise a child.

But I do not want her sueing in the future and get $400.00 a month or more and be able to say we have no rights to the child. Shes a liar, and shes jealous of myself. She does not ljke that hes with me and because of many issues, she will fight to the death for him having any custody of the child. Not a good environment for a child and I know there will always be issues.

Ideally, we have no involvement in the childs life. Period. I do not seek judgement either. Just advice.

the question at hand, is what legal reprecussions will a written letter have in the future of child visitation if she chose to sue for child support?

You seriously need to butt out.

Your boyfriend was also sleeping around, and he has no IDEA whether he did take her virginity or not. Unless he actually SAW someone have sex with her before he did.

Not taking the proper steps to establish paternity, custody, visitation, and child support for this child can NOT, by any stretch of the imagination, be called "doing the right thing".

She has the right to file for these things at any time before the child is an adult. So does he.

The letter will do nothing but make him look like an ass if this ever DOES go to court.

Im not here to be judged but to get advice.

If you cant give me legal advice, dont say anything at all. Im not holding a PTA conference or political debate.

Thank you.

mysticmadlove said:

First off, thanks for the reply.

I understand state law regarding child support obligation. I want to know how a letter may affect child visitation if we decided to pursue that in the future.

She is the daughter of a preacher who was sleeping around, and her prgnancy was a shock to the family. She lied and said my fiance took her virginity, which he had to inform them that was not the case.

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Doesn't say an awful lot about your partner's taste.

She decided to have the baby and informed us after the baby was born, she did not want his name on the birth certificate.my fiance did not want that cause he wantex to do the right thing. (we had been dating for 6 months before the baby was born)

She did not want to sign legitimation papers cause she does not want him to have any rights to the chikd. We also are not in the place to have the cash to take her to court so we had decided that fighting between two parents is not good to raise a child.

But I do not want her sueing in the future and get $400.00 a month or more and be able to say we have no rights to the child. Shes a liar, and shes jealous of myself. She does not ljke that hes with me and because of many issues, she will fight to the death for him having any custody of the child. Not a good environment for a child and I know there will always be issues.

Ideally, we have no involvement in the childs life. Period. I do not seek judgement either. Just advice.

the question at hand, is what legal reprecussions will a written letter have in the future of child visitation if she chose to sue for child support?

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You will never, ever have any rights to the child. You do not need to worry about that.

The letter is meaningless. However, if Dad ONLY files for visitation after Mom files for child support, it will prove exactly what type of person he is.

Though it won't affect his rights - perhaps unfortunately.

mysticmadlove said:

First off, thanks for the reply.

I understand state law regarding child support obligation. I want to know how a letter may affect child visitation if we decided to pursue that in the future.

She is the daughter of a preacher who was sleeping around, and her prgnancy was a shock to the family. She lied and said my fiance took her virginity, which he had to inform them that was not the case. She decided to have the baby and informed us after the baby was born, she did not want his name on the birth certificate.my fiance did not want that cause he wantex to do the right thing. (we had been dating for 6 months before the baby was born)

She did not want to sign legitimation papers cause she does not want him to have any rights to the chikd. We also are not in the place to have the cash to take her to court so we had decided that fighting between two parents is not good to raise a child.

But I do not want her sueing in the future and get $400.00 a month or more and be able to say we have no rights to the child. Shes a liar, and shes jealous of myself. She does not ljke that hes with me and because of many issues, she will fight to the death for him having any custody of the child. Not a good environment for a child and I know there will always be issues.

Ideally, we have no involvement in the childs life. Period. I do not seek judgement either. Just advice.

the question at hand, is what legal reprecussions will a written letter have in the future of child visitation if she chose to sue for child support?

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None of this is relevant. And it's still none of your business.

I will, however, revise my opinion. He is the perfect "man" for you. Just please do not procreate.

mysticmadlove said:

Im not here to be judged but to get advice.

If you cant give me legal advice, dont say anything at all. Im not holding a PTA conference or political debate.

Thank you.

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The commentary is free. No extra charge.

Given that this is frankly none of your legal business, you're lucky you got any responses at all.

Legally, this is none of your business. That is the legal advice to you. If your boyfriend wants legal advice concerning HIS child, he is free to sign up under his own user name.

If she chooses to sue for child support, she's going to get it. Any letter your boyfriend writes isn't going to affect that one way or the other. He has a child, and once he is established as the legal father of that child he will be expected to share his part of the financial obligations.

You need to keep your personal opinions to yourself.

I talked a little about her so someone can get the idea about her mind set in us trying to gain rights.

he has every right to make his decision which was not easy.

She has every right to take him to court before thd child is an adult.

I also have every right to do research in legal reprecussions of him wanting to notify her by paper instead of a phone call.

I was lead to this site by the assumption of I can get advicdpe from a lawyer and not personal opinions of people.

My mistake.

mysticmadlove said:

You need to keep your personal opinions to yourself.

I talked a little about her so someone can get the idea about her mind set in us trying to gain rights.

he has every right to make his decision which was not easy.

She has every right to take him to court before thd child is an adult.

I also have every right to do research in legal reprecussions of him wanting to notify her by paper instead of a phone call.

I was lead to this site by the assumption of I can get advicdpe from a lawyer and not personal opinions of people.

My mistake.

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Didn't read the terms of Service did ya? And the commentary is a bonus to the FREE info you're getting.