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efoti79

Junior Member
My wife and i live in northern idaho and need some advise regarding child support. Heres a quick family history. I have a daughter whom i pay a sugnificant amount of support to from a previous marriage. When i married my current wife i took on the responsibility of her 4 children whom are not mine. The father of the first three has never paid child support and now owes 30000 in back support. He has no contact with his kids and does not live nearby. when we contact child support services to inquire about why they havent gone after him for support we get the same answer... we dont have his social security number and if you cant provide it then there is nothing we can do. Question... since when is it our responsibility to do all the work when they have better access to this information? We have no idea how to get his social security number and dont know what avenues we have to obtain it.

On to the next one.. The 4 child who happens to be 17 recently moved in with his dead beat father who owes 6000 in back support. The following day of him living there we were threatened with getting served papers to pay this idiot support. Can he do that without paying all his back support? He isnt even the costodial parent.

Please help me...
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
Underfunded, understaffed, overworked.

(That might define the situation in a nutshell).

(And really - don't assume that "they" have access to everyone else's personal information)

With regards to the 17 year old, yes, Dad can file for child support. Mom can request that any obligation be offset against what Dad owes.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
My wife and i live in northern idaho and need some advise regarding child support. Heres a quick family history. I have a daughter whom i pay a sugnificant amount of support to from a previous marriage. When i married my current wife i took on the responsibility of her 4 children whom are not mine. The father of the first three has never paid child support and now owes 30000 in back support. He has no contact with his kids and does not live nearby. when we contact child support services to inquire about why they havent gone after him for support we get the same answer... we dont have his social security number and if you cant provide it then there is nothing we can do. Question... since when is it our responsibility to do all the work when they have better access to this information? We have no idea how to get his social security number and dont know what avenues we have to obtain it.

On to the next one.. The 4 child who happens to be 17 recently moved in with his dead beat father who owes 6000 in back support. The following day of him living there we were threatened with getting served papers to pay this idiot support. Can he do that without paying all his back support? He isnt even the costodial parent.

Please help me...
Good NEWS!! No child that is not your LEGAL obligation...ie... (stepchildren), are your responsibility! Only their parents (Mother and Father). Perhaps the PARENT can post for herself?? Yes?:rolleyes:
 

efoti79

Junior Member
response

thanks captain obvious... i know i have no legal responsibility to the kids except for the little fact that i have been the only dad they have ever known and have raised them with absolutely no assistance from their real father. And that being said...i post this with my wife since we are in fact married and therefore both have input on how to raise our children...

Also in regards to first reply... thank you for the little bit of info. I do understand that child support is in a bad position but i find it interesting that they always have enough time to pester me and make sure i pay but pay no attention to the thousands of sperm donors that haven't paid a dime. Im current on my support and pay a hefty amount to a horrible money grubbing ex but it is what it is and its my responsibility. The way i look at it is you cant put a price on seeing and being a part of your childs life so therfore i pay without thinking twice along with providing great medical dental coverage for her.

I realize that this is a free advise service and some people dont quite understand the concept of being polite but if you do not have any advise that is useful then please dont post.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
thanks captain obvious... i know i have no legal responsibility to the kids except for the little fact that i have been the only dad they have ever known and have raised them with absolutely no assistance from their real father. And that being said...i post this with my wife since we are in fact married and therefore both have input on how to raise our children...

Also in regards to first reply... thank you for the little bit of info. I do understand that child support is in a bad position but i find it interesting that they always have enough time to pester me and make sure i pay but pay no attention to the thousands of sperm donors that haven't paid a dime. Im current on my support and pay a hefty amount to a horrible money grubbing ex but it is what it is and its my responsibility. The way i look at it is you cant put a price on seeing and being a part of your childs life so therfore i pay without thinking twice along with providing great medical dental coverage for her.

I realize that this is a free advise service and some people dont quite understand the concept of being polite but if you do not have any advise that is useful then please dont post.
:rolleyes::rolleyes:
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
If your stepchildren's fathers are deadbeats and you have chosen to care for them as if they are your own, you're a stand-up guy and that's great. But the fact is that they are not your children, and your financial or familial impact on their lives has no influence on any legal issue that involves them. Nor do they have any impact on any legal issue that concerns you.

If the 17 year old is in his father's custody, your wife may very well find herself ordered to pay him child support. That probably would be offset by whatever amount he owes her. I don't know why your wife allowed him to move in with his father, but it's worth mentioning that if she retains custody and the father sues for a modification, by the time it's resolved the question of child support might be moot. The father's arrears, however, will remain due until paid.

In answer to your first question, the problem is simply a lack of resources. Does your wife have access to any jointly-filed tax returns? Does she have contact with any of his family that might have the number? If Enforcement can find him, they will. But they simply are (probably) underfunded and understaffed.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
We have no idea how to get his social security and dont know what avenues we have to obtain it.
She produced multiple kids with him and never filed any taxes with him, or had joint credit or ANYTHING with his SS number number?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
She produced multiple kids with him and never filed any taxes with him, or had joint credit or ANYTHING with his SS number number?
She cannot even ask the IRS to provide her tax return transcripts for the years she filed joint tax returns with him that would show his SSN?
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
I don't think OP said she was married to the father.

How you raise your children, and how you assist your wife in raising HER children, has nothing to do with child support owed to your wife by your stepchildrens' fathers. That money is owed to her and her alone no matter how much you've helped to support her and her children in the past. So it's not your legal business. If you were to divorce her tomorrow (which obviously you are not planning to do), you would have no right to the money she is owed. You would also have no obligation to support any children which are not yours.

I am not sure if child support would continue to be owed to her estate if she were to pass away before it was paid off (heaven forbid).
 

efoti79

Junior Member
I will try to answer all your questions... as far as filing taxes with him the answer is no. He spent his life dealing meth and was in and out of jail. Chose to beat my wife and not take care of his kids instead of being gainfully employed until she finally got him arrested and inturn he spend 5 years in the pen. She used to have his ss# memorized but that kinda stuff is quickly forgotten when you would prefer to forget a past life that you regret. We havent heard from him in about 5 years except for the occasional request on facebook to see pics of his kids.... go figure. As far as the 17 year old goes there is more to the story. Because of this former life my wife had with an abusive druggy her 17 year old grew up with living with my wifes father. When we got married we tried to get him to come live with us but chose to stay at his grandpas because he knew he was spoiled rotten. Over the past couple years he has been getting in alot of trouble and finally my wifes father had enough and shipped him our way. After 2 months of being with us he was very violent and a decision was made in the best interest of our other children who are all under 12. That is why he now lives with his deadbeat father. We could not allow him to be violent towards my wife and his young siblings and had enough. We tried counseling which he refused, offered job core, which he refused and instead he chose to steal, smoke pot and become very violent whenever confronted. And yes i know i took on alot but it its what it is. Just trying to do my best for the kids and the financial responsibility that i placed myself in.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I'm feeling so bad for this poor 17 year old right now :(

The repeated rejection is going to be with him for the rest of his life.

:(
 

efoti79

Junior Member
And yes i know this child support is not owed to me... im not an idiot nor selfish... I dont think some of you realize my intent of all of this. I am actually a very educated person and provide a very valuable and unselfish service to my community. So please try not to form your own opinions on my intent and take this as a husband whom is only looking for directions in his wifes behalf. I am a middle class american who knows the first thing about nothing being free in life.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I will try to answer all your questions... as far as filing taxes with him the answer is no. He spent his life dealing meth and was in and out of jail. Chose to beat my wife and not take care of his kids instead of being gainfully employed until she finally got him arrested and inturn he spend 5 years in the pen. She used to have his ss# memorized but that kinda stuff is quickly forgotten when you would prefer to forget a past life that you regret. We havent heard from him in about 5 years except for the occasional request on facebook to see pics of his kids.... go figure. As far as the 17 year old goes there is more to the story. Because of this former life my wife had with an abusive druggy her 17 year old grew up with living with my wifes father. When we got married we tried to get him to come live with us but chose to stay at his grandpas because he knew he was spoiled rotten. Over the past couple years he has been getting in alot of trouble and finally my wifes father had enough and shipped him our way. After 2 months of being with us he was very violent and a decision was made in the best interest of our other children who are all under 12. That is why he now lives with his deadbeat father. We could not allow him to be violent towards my wife and his young siblings and had enough. We tried counseling which he refused, offered job core, which he refused and instead he chose to steal, smoke pot and become very violent whenever confronted. And yes i know i took on alot but it its what it is. Just trying to do my best for the kids and the financial responsibility that i placed myself in.
You should have chosen a better "person" to marry. :mad:
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
And yes i know this child support is not owed to me... im not an idiot nor selfish... I dont think some of you realize my intent of all of this. I am actually a very educated person and provide a very valuable and unselfish service to my community. So please try not to form your own opinions on my intent and take this as a husband whom is only looking for directions in his wifes behalf. I am a middle class american who knows the first thing about nothing being free in life.
Yes. You married a "woman" that chose to be, at BEST, lackadaisical regarding her children and behavior. She now continues by ALLOWING you to deal with HER LIFE CHOICES.

Sweet.
 

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