vehicle manslaughter drunk driving- I need Help

i live in idaho and my husband was involved in an accident of which the other party has become deceased. he is being charged with vehicle manslaughter and hit and run. both parties involved were both legally intoxicated and there may have been usuage of drugs with the deceased party. my question is why is it not being told about the deceased being under the influence and it is all being made out to be like my husbands fault. they have impounded our vehicle for evidence and from looking at the vehicle you can tell who hit who? none of that is being said. he has been appointed a public defender of which will not meet with him in person only through a video system of which the room is not totally secure when they meet. they have made my husband out to be the drunken bum when he actually does have a good job and a family and the other gentleman is real known to be the drunk and hard core partier. we both feel for the family greatly i just feel that my husband is getting some unfair justice in the matter. he is guilty of leaving the scene. i just want to know does he have any rights. the media has said some things that are not the facts and i am not sure how to go about setting them straight.

If you came here hoping for some sympathy, you will not get any. It does not matter that the other driver was drunk or had a bad reputation. Your husband drove drunk and someone died. If your husband was sober, the accident may not have happened. And because of your husband's very bad judgement, he is going to jail for a long time and leaving a family behind. The meeting your husband had with the attorney is considered valid, there is no guarantee of privacy. Unless you can somehow raise the funds to acquire a very good attorney, you and your husbands future does not look very bright.

I am not!

I am not looking for sympathy. I understand my husband made a mistake. But don't we all as citizens deserve rights as well, I was just asking for some advice.

My response:

You got the advice !

XJudge told you that your husband's rights will be protected and preserved. He'll get a fair trial. Then he'll be shipped off to Sing-Sing for many, many, years to come.

You knew he was a drunk, yet you allowed him to drive. Just what did you think was going to be your future, and the inevitable outcome ?

Lady, get used to it, and STOP being an "enabler" for drunks - - especially those that drive and KILL people.

He may be your husband, but to us, and the rest of society, he's just another piece of scum.

IAAL

You have the wrong opinion

I think you have the wrong impression. I did not allow him to get drunk and drive. For your information I was at work and called him in for a DUI when I heard he was not at home with my kids. Secondly, I heard about the hit & run on my scanner at home and when he showed up. Guess what! I called the police on him. So, why don't you ask me first instead of accusing me cause that is the problem you don't have the whole story don't make accusations about me cause you are wrong I am just asking questions cause I have never been in this situation and I did do what was right by calling when I knew. Or was that not good enough. The police didn't look for him I have the police log. so now what do you have to say. Maybe an apology to me for saying that I am scum when I did what was right just because he didn't

My response:

I didn't say YOU were "scum" -- if you read my last response, it says HE is "scum".

You've known he was a drunk for a long, long time, and yet you let him keep his license and afforded him a vehicle with which to KILL someone.

So yes, I hold you responsible also. I don't care what you did AFTER the fact. The actions you could have taken prior to him getting into a vehicle is where you failed. You hide the key, you take away the license, you disable his vehicle, you DO SOMETHING to keep him off the road, and before tragedy strikes.

We are all responsible for each other, and this fact is even greater when it comes to husband and wife. Who in this life has greater control over him - - you or me ?

So, the police and the court system get to do for you, that which you failed to do for yourself, and your husband. By giving him his license, his keys and his vehicle, you "enabled" him.

And, it took a life to be lost before you finally took action to call the police. It was "reasonably foreseeable" by you that this situation would happen. A little too late for you to do anything now, wouldn't you say ? The damage is done.

We're all sick and tired of drunks who drive - - and especially those who kill.

And, I just loved it when you said: "I understand my husband made a mistake."

A "mistake" ? Now, isn't that the understatement of the year ! Lady, with understatements like that, who needs "disasters" ? Lady, your husband KILLED another human being ! That's not merely a "mistake" !

No apologies from me, or anyone here. You're the one who failed society with your lack of action and concern.

If there's anyone who owes an apology, it's you and your husband. You know, remorse goes a long way - - both here, and in court. Try practicing some, along with a little humility.

IAAL

Wow!

"For your information I was at work and called him in for a DUI when I heard he was not at home with my kids."

You left a drunk at home with your kids, he abandoned them to take a drive and kill someone and you're struggling to help him? Last year, in Livermore California, a man let his intoxicated wife get behind the wheel (he was sober and in the car) and drive their van with their five children in it. The wife killed herself and all of her children in a rollover due to excessive speed in a curve while DUI.

Your helping your husband is an attempt to not make him face up to the full brunt of the law for his actions. Will you pour the whiskey and buckle your children in for their death ride with him? Women who allow their husband's to stay at home with their children, alcohol and car keys should be jailed.

You should send the family whose provider was murdered by you and your husband a mental thank you for saving your children's lives and then throw the scum bag you married on the mercy of the court. He abandoned you and your children to drink, you are a scumbag if you let your children grow up thinking they deserve a murdering scum for a father -- abandon him and give your children a mother!

Don't get mad at me for saying this, take a hard look at yourself, then look at your children and ask yourself what they ever did to merit you providing the means for your husband to kill another human being?

My friend got off booze when an AA counselor asked her what her kids did to earn a drunk for a mother -- ask yourself what yours did to earn a drunk for a father. Then move on with your life and make a safe place for you and your children to grow up in without him. Nurture them instead of the bum who is in jail. Nurture yourself. Nurture anyone or anything but your rage at society for a situation your husband created and should pay for to the maximum.

KP

TRUE

Someone that has been there

Please listen to what is being said.Take your children and start a new life.There is a much more meaning to life out there.My X-drunk is still a drunk 13 years after I left. Should have left sooner.Drunks have ways of making you feel sorry for them.You have to stop thinking with your heart in his case and use your head.Use your heart on your children. They look to you for love and protection.They will respect you for it and learn that no one has to put up with a drunk.My X drunk has not killed anyone jet.While you are so involed in his world that may never change,you are missing out on wonderful things that could be going on in your's and your kids life.Please do not cheat yourself or your children.There is so much I could say, but there is not enough room here or enough time.I am sure you are a wonderful, good person with great kids. Don't waste it on someone that is not putting you and your children first.He will always put himself first.Please think about this.Set down along with your thoughts and remember everytime you have been there for him and how it has asumed your life and your kids.Good luck dear.I wish you the best.God bless you.

I totally agree with everyone here. I would go one step further, you should get you and your children into Alanon. They can help you stop being an enabler. Your husband is gone and now you need help so that you do not fall victim to another alcoholic. Bring your kids too. It will help them too so as not to make the same mistake you did.

Sure, I am agreeing with some of the things that are being said. But, one my husband isn't one who drinks on a daily basis. Secondly, the other driver was drunk,on meth and also had marijuana in his system so that makes it allright correct. Also, the other driver was picked up for controlled substance and dui in april and also the first of june. And that makes it allright also. None of those things are on my husbands record. But he is the one who is to blame right. When the other driver has 5 other dui's on his record and they just slapped his hands of which my husband does not. Also he has 7 other drug arrests and also he was charged once with running over a pedestrian while drinking so the one who died is the one who is the angel also right.

My response:

Lady, there is no hope for you. You'll never understand the point of what we're telling you.

This is the problem with "enablers" - - they want to look for the "wrong" in some other person and somehow that makes their actions better. Well, Lady, it doesn't. In this type of a situation, it doesn't matter if the other guy was Adolf Hitler himself.

It's time for you to go away.

IAAL