we'll see if it works:
Dear Mr. xxxx:
I am in receipt of your letter of June 29, and while portions of your response seem to be
sincere, for the most part I find your points illogical and lacking a clear understanding of what is actually taking place in the situation between my former wife and myself. I once
again, at the risk of seeming redundant, must insist that you recognize the simple fact that
I did not create this situation. I too would prefer a mutually beneficial relationship that would insure my daughter not be subjected to all these legal maneuverings. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, while given every opportunity to try to improve the situation, your client unilaterally acts in a fashion that undermines any credibility she
claims she enjoys. I will go further into today’s message from xxxx after I address the points raised in your letter.
To start, while a novice in the courtroom, I find it hard to agree with you that any Judge,
having the background of this case available to him, would deny my request for a
custodial evaluation. Please keep in mind that you have a Supplemental Petition for
the modification of custody before the Court as well. Further, there already exists prior to my filing any Supplemental Petitions of my own, ample opportunity for the Court to
require a change in primary custody, due to the numerous previously filed motions for contempt against your client, including two separate matters concerning visitation and one for alienation of affection and, based on your clients email to me today, one or two more probable contempt filings regarding my full week summer visitation and this coming weekend. One would think that after pushing me past the point of no return with the denied visitation in late June, the custodial parent would be just a little accommodating to the non-custodial, but this appears to be an ill advised all or nothing campaign for her to maintain her control of the situation. Counselor, I submit that she has already lost control and the only way to save my relationship with my daughter is take the action that is provided me by the law.
Page Two / July 3, 2001
You should also realize by now that I am serious in going forward in these actions, as I feel that I have no other choice, due to the lack of interest in any real settlement of any
of the issues before the Court. I have made two or three offers since the beginning of the year, all of which went unanswered. Mediation is a farce in our situation, as Ms. xxxx has mastered the art of lying, even under oath. Coupled with the unending
refusal to work with me on even a simple weekend visitation plan, there is no arbiter,
jurist or judge in the land who would think me unreasonable in my attempts to maintain a loving relationship with my child. Therefore, I will continue my filings and pleadings, all of which are substantial thus far. If you think it unsubstantial and insignificant that your plea to “hit me in the wallet” in our most recent hearing went ignored, so be it. I am not swayed by histrionics and threats either Mr. xxxx, you would be well-advised to save them for another adversary.
As a father, if you were to suspend for a moment the very fragile position that your client has sold you, and consider how I view my situation, only then would you finally realize that I am not on some ‘vendetta’ against my former wife. If the thought existed in my mind that I was wrong in my belief, wrong in my sense of duty to my daughter, wrong
in any of my actions, I would be the first to stop wasting my time, endless hours on the computer, in the law librarys of South Florida, in counsel with other fathers and advisors. I am not the person creating and prolonging and refusing to recognize the problem. Close to six years of cooperation between the parties, while imperfect, kept us out of court until last Fall. We did have the agreements between us regarding financials, otherwise, why would the good doctor wait until these recent developments to try to collect his monies, speaking of vendettas? From the vast expanse of his good feelings for me? I think not. I speak the truth and the truth will at some point in this case prevail.
Therefore, the only thing keeping me from having the desired “closer relationship with your daughter” as you put it, is you and your clients. Your stated philosophy and goals in your letter to me are but a mirage, until such time as real progress is made in the necessary and moral true assessment of the situation caused by your clients. I have no
other choice but to seek judicial redress of the wrongs that are being cultivated against a
father who wishes to be as involved with his daughter, as he sees fit, as I do. I have no
vendetta. I have my rights and my daughter’s rights to stand up for, because no one else will.
I also speak the truth in telling you it was not my desire to make the attempt to change the custodial situation when we began this adventure in the legal system. It is done with careful thought and full regard of the costs and benefits, especially in regards to xxxx.
I thought I had made that exceedingly clear to you in my filings. As you know, things have a way of getting lost in the shuffle at the courthouse, so again I stress to you the importance of maintaining control and vigilance over your client, if she chooses to continue in her recognized fashion, in regards to keeping as much distance as possible between xxxx and the knowledge of what the parties are doing in the courtroom.
Page Three / July 3, 2001
Counselor, I have a nine-year old daughter. My former wife would have people believe that she has a partner in the fashion and acting world who should participate in any and all decisions concerning her world in general. On this we disagree. I grant you that I am exceedingly proud of the daughter I have, xxxx’s achievements in so short a time, her brightness and her love. Those attributes do not mean that she should be elevated to adulthood prematurely. Her time will come, and I am quite certain that when she is emotionally, physically, and otherwise fully grown she will have grown to fully understand the whys and wherefores of her parents. I look forward to that day. If xxxx continues as she has with today’s email, she may well dread it.
I have attached the aforementioned message received today. Mr. xxxx, I have made it crystal clear to Ms. xxxxx that I receive two weeks of vacation per year. I utilized one of those weeks in January to visit and assist my own ill father at the onset of his chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer. I have reserved my second week of vacation for the time period between Christmas and New Years, as I have xxx this year for that visitation period. The only extended time I had remaining available to me was the Fourth of July through the Eighth of July. For that reason, two months ago, I made my request to your client for the dates of and around June 29 through and including my weekend ending July 8, for my week with xxxx. For that reason, I had to decline any other offers extended including the first two weeks of June in case xxxx had permission from me or the court to go on an extended trip out of state. For that reason I must still insist, on this date of July 3, that xxxx make xxxx available to me in the early evening of July 4, allowing us to go watch some fireworks and music. For that reason my assertion continues that xxxx remain in my care until the end of the weekend. For that reason I will not be forced to switch weekends to the next.
I must reiterate that I never told xxxx’s mother that I would not take xxxxx to her Playhouse rehearsals, xxxxx has a very selective and effective memory loss in regards to that situation. Because I have pledged to xxxx, her mother, the Court, that I will support her efforts especially and most importantly in Florida, I will get xxxx to her play rehearsals. I must equally insist as strenuously that both xxxxx and xxxx were told that I would prefer xxxx forego the proposed fashion show this weekend. I had already indicated as much to xxxx in correspondence last week, following that, xxxx is sent as your client’s messenger to ask again my permission for the fashion show. This charade of xxxx’s is beyond annoying, it is constructed and manipulative to use my daughter to make me look like the bad guy, when xxxx had ample opportunity to do the right thing. My fiancée is on vacation from her employment through the weekend, xxxx’s half-sister is on vacation from day care, my fiancee's son is on vacation and minimizing his activities in lieu of family activities, my fiancée’s brother and his family are in town from New York to share the vacation week with us as well. We are engaging in planned and unplanned “vacation activity” This is my time with my daughter and this information has been made known to xxxxx for weeks. xxxx can miss a fashion show in order to enjoy a little time with her family.
Page Four / July 3, 2001
Your client’s letter today is unacceptable. How dare she play God. How dare she try to tell me what my “parental obligation” is. It was unspeakable for her to cruelly and vindictively make sure that there was no way xxxx could be made available to even attend one of two birthday events for her half-sister this past weekend. Forgetting for a moment that I have the offer in writing from her of “the evening of 4th of July through Sunday. That was your client’s idea, I wanted xxxx uninterrupted the entire week but xxxxx refused. These actions go even further in showing all interested parties the true colors of my former wife, and rest assured she will answer for these curious decisions that she forces on me. And you tell me I should reconsider my decision?
Mr. xxxxx, the ball is in your court. I will see you in court one morning after the holiday, either with or without another stack of motions. I’m hopeful of enjoying my
short time off with all of my family. That is also up to you and your clients. I am not bothering to respond directly to xxxx’s email of today. Please inform her of my previously divulged plans and advise your client to act accordingly.
I look forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
[Edited by jyoung on 07-03-2001 at 08:01 AM]
Dear Mr. xxxx:
I am in receipt of your letter of June 29, and while portions of your response seem to be
sincere, for the most part I find your points illogical and lacking a clear understanding of what is actually taking place in the situation between my former wife and myself. I once
again, at the risk of seeming redundant, must insist that you recognize the simple fact that
I did not create this situation. I too would prefer a mutually beneficial relationship that would insure my daughter not be subjected to all these legal maneuverings. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, while given every opportunity to try to improve the situation, your client unilaterally acts in a fashion that undermines any credibility she
claims she enjoys. I will go further into today’s message from xxxx after I address the points raised in your letter.
To start, while a novice in the courtroom, I find it hard to agree with you that any Judge,
having the background of this case available to him, would deny my request for a
custodial evaluation. Please keep in mind that you have a Supplemental Petition for
the modification of custody before the Court as well. Further, there already exists prior to my filing any Supplemental Petitions of my own, ample opportunity for the Court to
require a change in primary custody, due to the numerous previously filed motions for contempt against your client, including two separate matters concerning visitation and one for alienation of affection and, based on your clients email to me today, one or two more probable contempt filings regarding my full week summer visitation and this coming weekend. One would think that after pushing me past the point of no return with the denied visitation in late June, the custodial parent would be just a little accommodating to the non-custodial, but this appears to be an ill advised all or nothing campaign for her to maintain her control of the situation. Counselor, I submit that she has already lost control and the only way to save my relationship with my daughter is take the action that is provided me by the law.
Page Two / July 3, 2001
You should also realize by now that I am serious in going forward in these actions, as I feel that I have no other choice, due to the lack of interest in any real settlement of any
of the issues before the Court. I have made two or three offers since the beginning of the year, all of which went unanswered. Mediation is a farce in our situation, as Ms. xxxx has mastered the art of lying, even under oath. Coupled with the unending
refusal to work with me on even a simple weekend visitation plan, there is no arbiter,
jurist or judge in the land who would think me unreasonable in my attempts to maintain a loving relationship with my child. Therefore, I will continue my filings and pleadings, all of which are substantial thus far. If you think it unsubstantial and insignificant that your plea to “hit me in the wallet” in our most recent hearing went ignored, so be it. I am not swayed by histrionics and threats either Mr. xxxx, you would be well-advised to save them for another adversary.
As a father, if you were to suspend for a moment the very fragile position that your client has sold you, and consider how I view my situation, only then would you finally realize that I am not on some ‘vendetta’ against my former wife. If the thought existed in my mind that I was wrong in my belief, wrong in my sense of duty to my daughter, wrong
in any of my actions, I would be the first to stop wasting my time, endless hours on the computer, in the law librarys of South Florida, in counsel with other fathers and advisors. I am not the person creating and prolonging and refusing to recognize the problem. Close to six years of cooperation between the parties, while imperfect, kept us out of court until last Fall. We did have the agreements between us regarding financials, otherwise, why would the good doctor wait until these recent developments to try to collect his monies, speaking of vendettas? From the vast expanse of his good feelings for me? I think not. I speak the truth and the truth will at some point in this case prevail.
Therefore, the only thing keeping me from having the desired “closer relationship with your daughter” as you put it, is you and your clients. Your stated philosophy and goals in your letter to me are but a mirage, until such time as real progress is made in the necessary and moral true assessment of the situation caused by your clients. I have no
other choice but to seek judicial redress of the wrongs that are being cultivated against a
father who wishes to be as involved with his daughter, as he sees fit, as I do. I have no
vendetta. I have my rights and my daughter’s rights to stand up for, because no one else will.
I also speak the truth in telling you it was not my desire to make the attempt to change the custodial situation when we began this adventure in the legal system. It is done with careful thought and full regard of the costs and benefits, especially in regards to xxxx.
I thought I had made that exceedingly clear to you in my filings. As you know, things have a way of getting lost in the shuffle at the courthouse, so again I stress to you the importance of maintaining control and vigilance over your client, if she chooses to continue in her recognized fashion, in regards to keeping as much distance as possible between xxxx and the knowledge of what the parties are doing in the courtroom.
Page Three / July 3, 2001
Counselor, I have a nine-year old daughter. My former wife would have people believe that she has a partner in the fashion and acting world who should participate in any and all decisions concerning her world in general. On this we disagree. I grant you that I am exceedingly proud of the daughter I have, xxxx’s achievements in so short a time, her brightness and her love. Those attributes do not mean that she should be elevated to adulthood prematurely. Her time will come, and I am quite certain that when she is emotionally, physically, and otherwise fully grown she will have grown to fully understand the whys and wherefores of her parents. I look forward to that day. If xxxx continues as she has with today’s email, she may well dread it.
I have attached the aforementioned message received today. Mr. xxxx, I have made it crystal clear to Ms. xxxxx that I receive two weeks of vacation per year. I utilized one of those weeks in January to visit and assist my own ill father at the onset of his chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer. I have reserved my second week of vacation for the time period between Christmas and New Years, as I have xxx this year for that visitation period. The only extended time I had remaining available to me was the Fourth of July through the Eighth of July. For that reason, two months ago, I made my request to your client for the dates of and around June 29 through and including my weekend ending July 8, for my week with xxxx. For that reason, I had to decline any other offers extended including the first two weeks of June in case xxxx had permission from me or the court to go on an extended trip out of state. For that reason I must still insist, on this date of July 3, that xxxx make xxxx available to me in the early evening of July 4, allowing us to go watch some fireworks and music. For that reason my assertion continues that xxxx remain in my care until the end of the weekend. For that reason I will not be forced to switch weekends to the next.
I must reiterate that I never told xxxx’s mother that I would not take xxxxx to her Playhouse rehearsals, xxxxx has a very selective and effective memory loss in regards to that situation. Because I have pledged to xxxx, her mother, the Court, that I will support her efforts especially and most importantly in Florida, I will get xxxx to her play rehearsals. I must equally insist as strenuously that both xxxxx and xxxx were told that I would prefer xxxx forego the proposed fashion show this weekend. I had already indicated as much to xxxx in correspondence last week, following that, xxxx is sent as your client’s messenger to ask again my permission for the fashion show. This charade of xxxx’s is beyond annoying, it is constructed and manipulative to use my daughter to make me look like the bad guy, when xxxx had ample opportunity to do the right thing. My fiancée is on vacation from her employment through the weekend, xxxx’s half-sister is on vacation from day care, my fiancee's son is on vacation and minimizing his activities in lieu of family activities, my fiancée’s brother and his family are in town from New York to share the vacation week with us as well. We are engaging in planned and unplanned “vacation activity” This is my time with my daughter and this information has been made known to xxxxx for weeks. xxxx can miss a fashion show in order to enjoy a little time with her family.
Page Four / July 3, 2001
Your client’s letter today is unacceptable. How dare she play God. How dare she try to tell me what my “parental obligation” is. It was unspeakable for her to cruelly and vindictively make sure that there was no way xxxx could be made available to even attend one of two birthday events for her half-sister this past weekend. Forgetting for a moment that I have the offer in writing from her of “the evening of 4th of July through Sunday. That was your client’s idea, I wanted xxxx uninterrupted the entire week but xxxxx refused. These actions go even further in showing all interested parties the true colors of my former wife, and rest assured she will answer for these curious decisions that she forces on me. And you tell me I should reconsider my decision?
Mr. xxxxx, the ball is in your court. I will see you in court one morning after the holiday, either with or without another stack of motions. I’m hopeful of enjoying my
short time off with all of my family. That is also up to you and your clients. I am not bothering to respond directly to xxxx’s email of today. Please inform her of my previously divulged plans and advise your client to act accordingly.
I look forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
[Edited by jyoung on 07-03-2001 at 08:01 AM]