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brother is child abuser

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4

4theloveofdrew

Guest
I am from MI----I will try to make a really long ugly story short and not so ugly. I have a brother who has had a great deal of mental problems his entire adult life. He is married to a woman that already had 4 kids from 4 different daddys (trust me---they deserve each other) any way they then went on to produce 2 more together (or at least I think they are his) they spend more time throwing each other in jail for spousal abuse than anything. 2 years ago the crazy lady threw him out because he "abused" one of her kids---he pled guilty (of course he says he didnt do it) he was ordered to counseling and he never went. She took him back----(this goes on monthly) and then last year at Christmas time she accused him again of "abusing" another one of her kids----she pressed charges---he didnt show up for court----bla bla bla---he was finally arrested and served 90 days for each offenses against the kids and 30 days for her. He was homeless for a certain amount of time and then she bailed him out of jail and he is now living in the home again----heres the ?----how can a convicted child abuser move back into the same home? I want to call their "case worker" and report this. I am certain that the kids would be better off in the care of a foster family than there are there. More than their physical safety I am worried about their long term mental health. These kids witness things that no kid should ever see. Drugs are known to be involved as well. I dont know how but my sister in law has convinced her case worker that she is a good mother----what do I do?????
 


Q

qadaq

Guest
Ok. From the top. Did this guy abuse the children or not? What did he do? Is there proof? Is there reason to believe she's not a good mother? Just because she and the guy have a love/hate relationship going on doesn't mean she's not a loving mother. Drugs might be "involved". I don't agree with the drug laws but you can use them to your advantage if you want to alienate them all. Video tape a buy and turn it over to the police. They'll at least hassle the guy.

The one thing I can recommend with some confidence that you do is visit the children a lot, invite them over, and give them a good example of a loving responsible adult. Be there for them and you can help them through a lot of grief. On occasion I've heard of foster homes not being that great. Just a thought.
 
4

4theloveofdrew

Guest
I guess the court didnt need any proof

Ok---from what I understand---there was no proof---only his wifes word----but he pled guilty to one charge and was found guilty of another---I have no idea if these charges are true or not----they were against her other children----so I would have no idea since I dont ever see her kids----my question is how can children be in a home where the father figure in it has been convicted of child abuse?????? I thought the court was supposed to protect them???? And as far as the court goes he is guilty even if he didnt do it----so why wouldnt they want to keep him out of the home or get the kids out? According to his wife just because she took him back doesnt mean that she wont see that he is punished for what he has done---I guess there must be more charges hanging over his head----bad checks---closed account---theft---on and on. And as far as a foster home---I just know that she may call herself a good mother---but nothing could be farther than the truth----I will no longer have a relationship with the kids due to the relationship with the wife. You see she will let us see the kids when she doesnt have my brother in the house---but once she takes him back she wont even so much as answer the phone----I can handle it but it just about kills my mother each and every time it happens. If they have an assigned case worker ---doesnt that say that things arent so good in the home---they have had to step in to their lives via a court order---they tell her what she can do and what she cant do---why wouldnt they tell her to remove my brother from the home???
 
D

deefran

Guest
Whether or not the charges were false has no bearing whatsoever any longer as he plead guilty and was found guilty in 2 cases. I don't understand how the state is allowing this man back into the house with the children, unless they don't know. Also, if the mother is allowing the man back into the house she can be charged for endangering the welfare of the children. YOU and your family SHOULD report this immediately. For the safety and well-being of the children they should be removed from this household where it has been found by a court of law that there has been previous abuse in.
 
4

4theloveofdrew

Guest
thanks so much!

Thank you so much for responding!!! This is EXACTLY how I felt----I did call her case worker today and she has left on an emergency medical leave and they are trying to find all her records regarding the case---the "fill in" says that he shouldnt be in the home either----I called the police department and of course there is nothing they can do--social services said that they will call me back on Monday---and have some one "interview" me---although she told me that she cant tell me anything about the case since it is confidentical. From what I have found out my brother has been back in the home since he was released from jail on the 16th of August----his wife is stupid enough to think his jail time cured him----no therapy--just jail time. They have been harrassing me by phone and by e-mail and i have threatened to file charges ( dont even know if I can do this or not) you think they would be afraid of me since I have threatened to turn them in--but instead they call at all hours. Is there any thing that I can do? My sister in law also threatened to call social services in my county and make a false report against me so that " I can see what its like to live under a microscope for a change" I am not worried about that since I know I am a good and decent mother. Still I have heard of horror stories and wouldnt want my kids to go through any thing----its not enough to detour me from doing what I think is right for my brothers children. Thanks
 
Q

qadaq

Guest
He's back in the house, and you have continuous contact with her. Before she wouldn't answer the phone, now you don't even have to call. You can use this to your advantage. You wanted access to the children, now you can ask, and ask, and ask. She has to keep coming up with answers or stop calling. Either way you win.
 

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