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California Child Custody

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D

dardesfe

Guest
We live in Placerville, California and will move to Antelop, California soon.

My wife spends all of her time on the Internet, eating (out), buying CDs and fun things for herself, or sleeping. We have 11 yr old son, 7 yr old daughter. She does little or NO housework and spends almost no time with the children although she does not work, saying she's a "stay-at-home" mom. She has a college degree in communication and writes and speaks well and convincingly. She tells me in front of the children that she hates me, my family, the children. She even told the children and me she hoped "we'd drown" when we left for a swim one Sunday. She has a record of depression and manic behavior, seeing doctors and taking medications all her life.

I want to divorce, get custody and grant wife as much visitation as she wants. How can I prove that I should be their custodial parent in my "children's best interests"?

I spend 2-3 hours commuting to my 8 hour job as a programmer/analyst, do most of the shopping, cooking, cleaning and take the children with me to relatives each weekend. I spend all my time away from work with my children.

My wife sleeps most of the day and is up most nights making a racket that interfers with my sleep (and then my work performance suffers) and the children's sleep.

What do I have to do to convince the courts that her verbal abuse and neglect is detrimental to my children and therefore wife should NOT get custody? HELP me and my kids. I've kept this family together this far and can endure abuse longer if necessary but now I feel I can no longer subdue her rages and want a better quality life for my children and myself.

HELP... with any advice to prove I will be a better parent and should be given custody?

I have documents written by her describing her activities and life since childhood, her root family... everything one would want to know about a person. She wrote them on the PC which I have kept. I have journaled her actions since May 2001. My attorney read some of the documents and said the courts would find the evidence "soft" and not award me custody. So what does the "best interest of the child" mean in CALIFORNIA? What can I do to convince the courts that in my children's "best interest" their care should be with me?
 


G

grandpabri

Guest
Unfortunately, your lawyer is probably right. It is much more difficult, though not impossible, for you to get primary custody.

Your job situation (and hers) will probably be one of the determining factors. You are away from home 12+ hours per day. The court looks at who does most of the activities of daily living with the children. Wake them, bathe them, make dinner, do homework. Being away from home that much will make it difficult to prove that you do most of this stuff.

Unless your wife is a stark raving lunatic, I doubt the court will take that into consideration. You could try a psychological evaluation, but this usually has to be ordered by the court.

Sorry I am not much help. Good Luck to you.
 
D

dardesfe

Guest
psychological evaluation

Thank you for feedback. It feels good that "someone" can hear me and understands. I will ask for a psychological evaluation and maybe the courts will find that she is a "stark raving lunatic" (and she may well be)

When we divorce, she will strive to move herself with the children to TX. If she ends up with sole custody (as some "people" have suggested might happen) she will leave CA, go to TX (where her aging parents live and will support her.) One is an alcoholic and the other is dying of cancer. She will continue on the Internet and with her pleasures, leaving the children in front of a TV or elsewhere. If that is the case, the California courts will have sentenced my children to an unfair place on earth. I will visit often and support them, but I also will lose my faith in the legal system. I will always wonder who wrote "in the best interests" of the children.

My brothers, their wives and children live in the SF East Bay as does my mother and father and other extended family members. My children have a warm, intimate relationship with all these people. My wife is an only child and she is not close nor does she interact with her extended family.

Maybe this will also persuade the courts to grant me (at least) joint custody or more.

Thank you again for your feedback. I will be grateful if I get joint custody and even more grateful if my children live in CA near me so I can spend as much time as I can with them.
 

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