Abusive ex harassing due to money owed.

[dianacuevas622]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
My ex has been contacting me via email, text, and phone. She wants me to give her a second chance and get back with her as well as pay back money she had lent me to purchase my car which i was paying back until we broke up, 7/4/2014. No written contract, only emails stating the balance. I broke up with her because she choked me and threatened to kill me (I have it on video). It was an abusive relationship. The day of the break up she wouldn't let me leave her room, she choked me, and threatened to kill me and herself. I refuse to talk or see her now. From the 2,500 she lent me, there is only about 600 dollars left to pay. I don't believe i should pay back the rest of the money because I had to move since she would show up at my apartment after the break up. I am unemployed now. I have her blocked but she still contacts me via text apps and by blocking her number whenever she calls. I am in a new healthy relationship but this is causing stress in my relationship. Should i send her a copy of the video i have from the break up where she chokes me and threatens to kill me along with a cease and desist letter? I don't want to have to deal with court and attorney's since i am currently unemployed and dont have any money, but i need this to stop. Any advise????

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
My ex has been contacting me via email, text, and phone. She wants me to give her a second chance and get back with her as well as pay back money she had lent me to purchase my car which i was paying back until we broke up, 7/4/2014. No written contract, only emails stating the balance. I broke up with her because she choked me and threatened to kill me (I have it on video). It was an abusive relationship. The day of the break up she wouldn't let me leave her room, she choked me, and threatened to kill me and herself. I refuse to talk or see her now. From the 2,500 she lent me, there is only about 600 dollars left to pay. I don't believe i should pay back the rest of the money because I had to move since she would show up at my apartment after the break up. I am unemployed now. I have her blocked but she still contacts me via text apps and by blocking her number whenever she calls. I am in a new healthy relationship but this is causing stress in my relationship. Should i send her a copy of the video i have from the break up where she chokes me and threatens to kill me along with a cease and desist letter? I don't want to have to deal with court and attorney's since i am currently unemployed and dont have any money, but i need this to stop. Any advise????

What happened when you showed the video of you being choked to the police?

(How exactly did you film that?)

 

[dianacuevas622]

What happened when you showed the video of you being choked to the police?

(How exactly did you film that?)

I never showed it to the cops. I dont know how she would always convince me to take her back and when she found out about the video she told me she would leave e alone as long as I dont put a restraining order on her. she left me alone for a bit but it didnt last long. At that point I had blocked her as best as I could and moved out.
It was an abusive relationship. When the argument started I picked up my things to leave (we were at her place). I knew it was going to get bad as it always did. I picked up my phone and started recording. I had my duffle bag with my clothes on the side of me and had placed the phone facing down on top of my bag so she wouldn't know i was recording. She wouldn't let me leave her room... things just got bad. Dont know why in the world i was with this person or how i kept getting sucked back into that relationship.

 

[Proserpina]

I never showed it to the cops. I dont know how she would always convince me to take her back and when she found out about the video she told me she would leave e alone as long as I dont put a restraining order on her. she left me alone for a bit but it didnt last long. At that point I had blocked her as best as I could and moved out.
It was an abusive relationship. When the argument started I picked up my things to leave (we were at her place). I knew it was going to get bad as it always did. I picked up my phone and started recording. I had my duffle bag with my clothes on the side of me and had placed the phone facing down on top of my bag so she wouldn't know i was recording. She wouldn't let me leave her room... things just got bad. Dont know why in the world i was with this person or how i kept getting sucked back into that relationship.

She has the right to sue you for the money you agreed to pay back. I suggest you forget about trying to blackmail her unless you want to end up in deep legal trouble yourself.

Change your number and delete your social network accounts, and talk to an attorney about a restraining order. Again though, expect her to sue you for the remainder of the money you agreed to pay her.

 

[dianacuevas622]

She has the right to sue you for the money you agreed to pay back. I suggest you forget about trying to blackmail her unless you want to end up in deep legal trouble yourself.

Change your number and delete your social network accounts, and talk to an attorney about a restraining order. Again though, expect her to sue you for the remainder of the money you agreed to pay her.

whoa! Didn't know a cease and desist letter was considered blackmail? I have been researching online and all lawyers seem to advise to send a cease and desist letter before pursuing further action. well, thanks for your advise. will contact an attorney regarding restraining order.

 

[eerelations]

No reputable attorney is going to help you with a cease and desist letter that's:

1. an endeavour to stop someone from bothering you about money that is legitimately owed to her, and
2. is accompanied by a video of that someone apparently doing something illegal.

A cease and desist letter as described above is not what you've been reading about on the internet, rather what is described above is blackmail, thinly disguised as a cease and desist letter. No reputable attorney is going to get involved with something like this.

I recommend you do what you've already been advised to do, i.e., block her, get an RO, and pay her what you owe her.

 

[Proserpina]

whoa! Didn't know a cease and desist letter was considered blackmail? I have been researching online and all lawyers seem to advise to send a cease and desist letter before pursuing further action. well, thanks for your advise. will contact an attorney regarding restraining order.

Uh .. you're sending her a copy of a video in order to stop her from trying to sue you. What do YOU think it's called?