Daughter needs to return cell phone

[asil8170]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa
I bought my 17 year old daughter a cell phone a little over a year ago. In April, that phone was eligible for an upgrade. I got the upgraded phone and a couple of weeks later my daughter moved out of my house. She now lives with her father. Before she left, I had a discussion with my daughter concerning her misuse of cell phone privileges. I warned her that if the excessive charges continued, I would turn off that phone. After she moved, the second bill came with even more charges than the first. I suspended service on the phone but because I had to set up a new 2-year contract to get the upgrade, I am still paying the monthly charges on it. I would cancel the contract but that would cost me $250 in early cancellation fees. I've asked for the phone to be returned to me (at least 6 times) but my daughter just says, "I'm not sure where it is." I have written her and her father a letter explaining that they must return the phone or pay the monthly charges or cancellation fee. I've received no response.

My question is...Can I take this to small claims court and if so, do I have to wait until my daughter is 18 before I can do this?

Thanks for any help. I know that some of you might think this sounds petty but I'm a single mother of 6 kids on a VERY limited budget. I can't afford to pay $20 a month for nothing.

 

[Zigner]

So, let me get this straight:
You bought your MINOR child a cell phone and now you're contemplating suing her in small claims court when she turns 18?

That is so wrong on so many levels...

 

[CourtClerk]

You gave a minor a cell phone. Suing her when she turns 18 doesn't negate the fact that you gave it to her, and she "lost" it when she was still a minor, and thus not able to legally enter into a contract (verbal or otherwise) with you.

By now, I'm sure you have paid $250 in monthly fees, so why you didn't just eat the $250 is beyond me and take it as a lesson as to why minor children don't need cell phones.

As an aside, suing your daughter is going to go a long way in mending your relationship. I hope a long term relationship with your daughter is worth more than $250.

 

[asil8170]

I get cell phones for all of my kids. I do this for safety purposes. The kids know that the phones they USE are MY phones. I pay for them. I set the rules. I say who gets what phone and when. One phone is usually handed down to the next child when there is an upgrade. The phone my daughter took with her when she moved out is still MY phone. I think it's only fair, since she got another phone from her father, that it be returned to me. How is that wrong "on so many levels?" Maybe other people have $250 to throw away but I don't. So, a parent, trying to teach a child some responsibility, is wrong but a child who refuses to be respectful and responsible, is right? That's what wrong with the family unit, and society in general, today. No one wants to be responsible for anything and parents find it too "difficult" to discipline their children and would rather "let it slide" than make an effort to teach their kids the things they need to know to live productive, happy lives as adults.
Yes, my relationship with my daughter is worth much more than $250 but since SHE has chosen to have nothing to do with me, no amount of money will improve our relationship. So far, the monthly charges have only been about $40 since she left. "Eating" $250 would be an option but that would mean a loss of 2 weeks worth of groceries for my other kids Or, I could continue to pay the $20 monthly charges and accomplish nothing more than reinforcing my daughter's belief that she can get away with being irresponsible and disrespectful. Not only am I losing money on that phone, I will have to pay for another phone for one of my sons (his broke) when I could have replaced it with the one my daughter has.
No contract was entered into with my daughter. I bought a phone for her to USE. I also let her use my car, my camera, my shoes and about a million other things. That doesn't mean that my car, camera, shoes OR phone belonged to her.
Again, I know it sounds harsh but, short of legal action, I know no other way to get my phone back. All I want is to avoid unnecessary costs (bills on a phone I don't have and the cost of a new phone for my son) and teach all of my kids that they need to be responsible and respectful. What's so wrong with that?

 

[Zigner]

Your child is a minor.

 

[Zigner]

Ok, let's do it step-by-step:

I get cell phones for all of my kids. I do this for safety purposes.

ok

The kids know that the phones they USE are MY phones. I pay for them. I set the rules. I say who gets what phone and when. One phone is usually handed down to the next child when there is an upgrade. The phone my daughter took with her when she moved out is still MY phone.

ok

I think it's only fair, since she got another phone from her father, that it be returned to me. How is that wrong "on so many levels?"

Because you feel that a small claims court action against your CHILD is somehow "right".

Maybe other people have $250 to throw away but I don't. So, a parent, trying to teach a child some responsibility, is wrong but a child who refuses to be respectful and responsible, is right?

Committing to spend money that you don't have doesn't help teach the child what you are trying to teach.

That's what wrong with the family unit, and society in general, today. No one wants to be responsible for anything and parents find it too "difficult" to discipline their children and would rather "let it slide" than make an effort to teach their kids the things they need to know to live productive, happy lives as adults.

Most PARENTS wouldn't attempt to teach that lesson by filing a lawsuit on the CHILD'S 18th birthday

Yes, my relationship with my daughter is worth much more than $250 but since SHE has chosen to have nothing to do with me, no amount of money will improve our relationship.

And, a lawsuit is the perfect response to that...

So far, the monthly charges have only been about $40 since she left. "Eating" $250 would be an option but that would mean a loss of 2 weeks worth of groceries for my other kids Or, I could continue to pay the $20 monthly charges and accomplish nothing more than reinforcing my daughter's belief that she can get away with being irresponsible and disrespectful.

OR, you could put a HOLD on the account (ie: lost phone), yet continue to pay the monthly charges. You could even get a replacement phone for the account and use it yourself.

Not only am I losing money on that phone, I will have to pay for another phone for one of my sons (his broke) when I could have replaced it with the one my daughter has.No contract was entered into with my daughter. I bought a phone for her to USE. I also let her use my car, my camera, my shoes and about a million other things. That doesn't mean that my car, camera, shoes OR phone belonged to her.
Again, I know it sounds harsh but, short of legal action, I know no other way to get my phone back. All I want is to avoid unnecessary costs (bills on a phone I don't have and the cost of a new phone for my son) and teach all of my kids that they need to be responsible and respectful. What's so wrong with that?

This is not about the money and it's not about the phone nd it's not even about teaching your child to be responsible...it's about your daughter "dissing" you.

 

[asil8170]

I am aware of my daughter's age. My question is, and always has been, if the phone is not returned by the time she turns 18 in a couple of months, can I THEN take it to court?
BTW The phone is not "lost." My son saw it during his last visitation.

 

[Zigner]

I am aware of my daughter's age. My question is, and always has been, if the phone is not returned by the time she turns 18 in a couple of months, can I THEN take it to court?
BTW The phone is not "lost." My son saw it during his last visitation.

Yes, but if you call it in (lost, stolen, whatever) then you can get a replacement phone. If you don't have "insurance" on it (dumb move), then yes, you'd have to pay in full for the phone (unless you're close to the upgrade time).

Your continued posts show that this has NOTHING to do with teaching financial responsibility and EVERYTHING to do with revenge against your ex and your daughter.

 

[asil8170]

And, Zinger, what is right about lying to the phone company, telling them the phone is lost then ripping them off further by asking for a replacement? Like I said, most people would rather "take the easy way out" (in your case...steal from the phone company) than do the right thing, no matter how hard that might be.

 

[Zigner]

And, Zinger, what is right about lying to the phone company, telling them the phone is lost then ripping them off further by asking for a replacement? Like I said, most people would rather "take the easy way out" (in your case...steal from the phone company) than do the right thing, no matter how hard that might be.

You are claiming that the phone was STOLEN. Report it as such to the phone company.

Oh, wait, you are "allowing" your daughter to use this phone...so it's not stolen.

How about this: Go to the phone company and tell them you want to upgrade your phone to a new one. Tell them you don't have the phone in your possession. You will get a new phone, daughter won't be able to snub her nose at you any more and you can attempt to win a lawsuit against her when she turns 18. That'll teach her!

And, for all your efforts, you have secured a nomination as "Mother of the year". Congratulations!

 

[Zigner]

Like I said, most people would rather "take the easy way out" (in your case...steal from the phone company) than do the right thing, no matter how hard that might be.

I've spent a LOT of money on my kids. Given them stuff, loaned them stuff, etc. I would NEVER think of taking them to small claims court.

Do whatever you think is right.

 

[itdepends]

My question is...Can I take this to small claims court and if so, do I have to wait until my daughter is 18 before I can do this?

Yes, you can sue your daughter in small claims court, and no, you do not have to wait until she is 18.

 

[Zigner]

Yes, you can sue your daughter in small claims court, and no, you do not have to wait until she is 18.

And yes, she would be (effectively) suing herself.

 

[asil8170]

Thank you, itdepends, that's all I needed to know. Will I actually take my daughter to court over this? Probably not, but at least now I know that I could use the threat as an attempt to retreive what's mine, avoid further monthly charges and be able to provide my son with a phone to use without forking out another $99.
As for zinger...goody for you. You must be the perfect parent! So, threatening to take this to small claims court is far more horrific than telling the phone company a lie, or better yet, telling them the truth and having them go after my daughter for theft. Yeah, great advice...a bit contradicting don't you think and DEFINITELY ILLEGAL!!! Committing fraud and teaching my children that doing so is the right way to handle such problems is exactly what I DON'T want to do.

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you, itdepends, that's all I needed to know.

Sure, any loon can sign up and tell you what you want to hear. Note the utter lack of legal citation for your state.

Taking such advice is not wise.