Help me please

[butterfly85]

okay-I was with a guy a few years ago(we lived in NY). We had an apartment together(that he was suppose to be paying everything for). I had a small credit card($500 limit) at the time I moved in with him. I used it for a few things for the apartment as he said he'd pay it back. The limit on my card went up to about $1500 while I lived with him. He made me max it out. He told me he would pay the debt that incurred as a result of him having me max it out(the debt is up to $4500 because of fees and all). (Along with that he was cheating; emotionally, physically, verbally abusive towards me. It caused me much pain). We broke up, moved on, etc(He still lives in NY and I had gotten engaged, moved to WA and just recently got married-still live in WA). He still said he would pay for the debt-his part of it. I told him that I would take care of $1000(I thought that was fair). He agreed to pay the rest. I wrote up a simple contract and emailed it to him(we live in different states so it's impossible to actual talk in person). He had agreed to it all. He told me he'd pay $200 monthly until the amount was paid off. He was suppose to begin paying at the end of August(2008). He didn't make that payment. It's nearing the end of September(2008). I had written to the credit people and told them I'd pay $200 at the end of each month(this was on the fact that he was going to be paying me that each month). However, since he hasn't paid me I can't pay them now(I have no income). Today I emailed a revised contract listing the payments(took out the August one that he didn't pay and added it on the end). He sent me a couple nasty offliners saying he can't pay the debt and blah blah. I nearly cried. I want this debt off my record and it's not working. I'm married and trying to get on with my life and this debt needs to be taken care of. The guy even said that if I'm so worried about it that I should call a lawyer and get him to send a summons or whatever to his house(his words were more 'colorful' though) It's not a bad idea, but I'd have to pay a lawyer. My question is....could I take this to court? or is there another way? I'm interested in any information anyone can provide. I don't like court situations. I wish there was another way for this to work.

 

[Hot Topic]

You were playing house with your boyfriend. Why in the world should he be expected to pay for rent, food, utilities, etc.? The situation you describe is for users, not for people of character.

You used your credit card for a few things for the apartment. When he said he'd pay you back, your response should have been, "Brad, you pay for everything else. The least I can do is pay for some furniture."

How did he make you max your card out? Hold a gun to your head?

Get a job to help pay off the debt. Hire a lawyer and take Brad to court. Provide the paperwork confirming that he was to pay for everything having to do with the apartment you shared. Provide proof that he forced you to max out the credit card. Prove that he said he would pay the debt that resulted from him forcing you to max out the card. I think you know where I'm going with the rest of this.

 

[butterfly85]

perhaps I should put in some more information.

'Brad' had a cushy customer service job. He asked me to live with him after a situation at home fell apart(my mom had died, my stepdad was a jerk, etc). I moved into his apartment. I paid my own car insurance, my own few bills. It was his apartment so he paid all those bills.

We needed a few things that niether of us could afford so he asked to use my credit card. He told me he would pay it. I agreed as he was my sortof fiance and all so.

Somewhere along the way he became angry(I had some money but no job at the time-later I had 3 jobs so it's not like I was mooching off him). I was still upset over my mom dying and all. He was cheating on me but wouldn't admit it. I couldn't live with it so we broke up and he ran home to his mommy and daddy(a 26 year old man with a good paycheck running home to his mommy and daddy after a break up-sad). Anyways he put me through emotional torture and some physical abuse and I was deathly afraid of him so that's why I let him use my credit card.

After we broke up he never let me know that the credit card company sent information to his apartment. I then didn't know that the credit card people had upped my payment(which I was paying) so then they wanted a huge amount that I couldn't pay(even though I was working 1 full time job and 2 part time). So now it's even higher because I can't save enough to pay them the amount.

Anyways not sure what else to say right now.

 

[Antigone*]

Hot Topic is correct, Butterfly.

This will be an expensive lesson for you to learn.

 

[dcatz]

OP – you need to order your priorities.
Your credit card was maxed out at $1,500 and that has grown to $4,500 (and continues to grow).
Your one-time boyfriend promised to pay some but isn’t paying and has seemingly had a change of heart.
In reliance on his promise, you made a promise to the creditor and you now can’t keep it.
Your first concern should be dealing with the creditor in whatever way it takes. You can and probably will be sued. The debt on your record will become a judgment on your record. That’s worse.
It’s not clear whether that contract that you wrote was ever signed. To be most favorable to you, let’s say that it was. Let’s say that you have an enforceable promissory note. You still have to successfully sue and collect from the ex. Assuming that you can do both, why would you think that you wouldn’t be sued in the interim? Creditors don’t like unpaid debts and may like broken promises even less.
If you can’t both successfully sue and collect from the ex, things get worse for you. It changes nothing for the creditor.
Your post is all about the duplicitous ex. That’s not where your focus needs to be. It can come later.

 

[Hot Topic]

I'd love to read your ex-boyfriend's side of the story.

I find it interesting how posters will come back to the forum with "more information," which is often something to make them look more sympathetic.

Next time, don't look for someone to take care of you. Look for someone who can be a real partner to you and vice versa.