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My ex-boyfriend owes me a substantial amount of money (40,000). Advice please?

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uwotm8

Junior Member
(He lives in PA still, I now live in NC.)

I'm going to try to keep this short and to the point. While in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend of 4 years he forged checks and took money from me without my permission. Yes, I was naive and should have ran from the relationship the minute he started using me.

Both of my parents died.
I got money from a settlement when I was 18.
I mothered my ex for 4 years and payed for absolutely EVERYTHING.
He agreed to pay me back (verbally and through emails/texts).
He stole checks from me and forged my name, which I have physical proof of.

The problem that arises is that he is obviously broke and doesn't have the funds to pay me back even if he wanted to.

Please someone help me. This has destroyed my life more than anyone could imagine.
 


swalsh411

Senior Member
Did you report the forged checks to the police as soon as you discovered his crime? Did you close the account? If you did neither, then you were basically approving of what he did.
 

uwotm8

Junior Member
Did you report the forged checks to the police as soon as you discovered his crime? Did you close the account? If you did neither, then you were basically approving of what he did.
I did not report anything. I guess I'm SOL then?
 

sandyclaus

Senior Member
(He lives in PA still, I now live in NC.)

I'm going to try to keep this short and to the point. While in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend of 4 years he forged checks and took money from me without my permission. Yes, I was naive and should have ran from the relationship the minute he started using me.

Both of my parents died.
I got money from a settlement when I was 18.
I mothered my ex for 4 years and payed for absolutely EVERYTHING.
He agreed to pay me back (verbally and through emails/texts).
He stole checks from me and forged my name, which I have physical proof of.

The problem that arises is that he is obviously broke and doesn't have the funds to pay me back even if he wanted to.

Please someone help me. This has destroyed my life more than anyone could imagine.
It looks like he saw you coming, and took advantage.

Once he STOLE those checks and started raiding your bank account, you should have IMMEDIATELY reported him to police and had him arrested for theft and forgery. Instead of doing that, he suckered you into believing that he was good and honest and convinced you that he would pay you back. If he intended to pay it back, he would have asked you for the money instead of helping himself to it by illegal means.

It's too late to report him now, and suing to try to recover that kind of money is going to be problematic and expensive at best - especially when you know he doesn't have it to pay back (never did and never intended to). Then there's the very real possibility that he could claim it was a gift with no intention to repay. I mean, who else would allow someone to raid their bank account for that kind of money and not have them arrested for it? That, and there is the fact that $40k is WAY over small claims jurisdiction. You'd throw away a ton more money and spend years in court over recovering money you'll probably NEVER see again.

Just write it off as a very expensive mistake and get a lot of distance from this guy. He's bad news that makes YOU look even worse for the wear.
 
Last edited:

xylene

Senior Member
You spent 10 thousand dollar a year trying to change someone.

Basically, you made a terrible investment, and that does not mean you get a refund.

It is totally irrelevant that you 'mothered' the guy. That essentially establishes your intention that this was a gift...
 

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