Non-Wedding Gone Wrong!!!

[Pastor Ken]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

I'll make this short but I need some real help and advice...

I perform weddings routinely in the state of Maryland for non-traditional couples, and I was approached by a very non-traditional couple as He was incarcerated and she was interested in marrying him. She contacted me and asked if I could marry the both of them and I agreed. She also stated that we had a small window to work with and I also told her that I would do all I could to work with the institution to help her.

The price for services was $375 as contracted, with a $150 deposit. During the conversation, she mentioned they were required to have 2 premarital counseling sessions on 2 separate weeks. Feeling sorry for her, I tossed those in for free. I emailed her the contract, which she never mailed or returned to me in a timely fashion...so I did not move on her wedding until I got the deposit.

Once her $200 deposit came in (2 weeks after the initial call and leaving about 13 days to perform the 2 sessions), I started the process with the Howard County Jail. Little did I know it would be a hard process. It had to work with all of our schedules, including the chaplains schedule. The kicker is that we'd never all be on the phone at once...it was impossible, plus the chaplain said that it was highly unlikely that we'd move in the time the couple was pushing for.

She still never submitted the contract, but I cashed the deposit as to bind the contract. ($200) mind you.

I called to inquire about a date and time and asked the chaplain to call me back to confirm in a timely fashion, she didn't. The chaplain called me the day of...2 hours prior and I could not make it. The chaplain then told me that she was unavailable again until the next week, which was not enough time for 2 separate sessions in 2 separate weeks because the inmate was going to be shipped to another facility...therefore...no wedding.

Feeling sorry for the woman when she and her inmate fiancee called, I assured her that she would "get her $200 back". In that conversation they were so grateful that her fiancee guaranteed to use me when they got married at the next facility.

I have a $150 non-refundable deposit stipulation to every contract signed. I then called them back and offered a $100 cash refund, and $100 credit ($200 back in total now...) toward their future wedding. They told me no, they wanted all of their money back because it was my fault they weren't married. It wasn't my fault...and they accepted no responsibility or compassion for the incredibly hard process the jail puts into play, and the fact that the planets had to almost align before it happened (which they knew full well before calling me.)

In any case, they refused and threatned to sue me for the $200 and damages.

PLEASE HELP ME WITH ADVICE.

Should I pay them the $200 back and count it as a loss? Or let them take me to court? Mind you...there was no written contract, however the verbal contract is the cashed deposit which was violated by the jail. They said I violated because I was unavailable on the one day the chaplain was, which triggered the cancellation by the jail. Also remember I offered an amicable solution for which they rebuked...not even giving credence to the large amount of time I spent even consulting with them and going back and forth with the prison.

What should I do? God Bless You...

 

[Mass_Shyster]

I assured her that she would "get her $200 back"

Why not do what you assured her?

 

[Zigner]

I have a $150 non-refundable deposit stipulation to every contract signed.

...there was no written contract

You can't have it both ways. Refund the money. It's the legally correct thing to do and it's the morally correct thing to do.

 

[Pastor Ken]

Thanks for your help and advice!

I've got a lot of growing to do! I plan on sending the $200, simply because its not worth it. It was never the money for me, but rather the principle that the couple has to accept responsibility for their part in the wedding not happening.

I think that morally...there should be some consideration for the 4 hours of consultation and the reservation of the 2 possible Saturdays in which I had to reject weddings as well.

In the end, everyone receives just recompense for their actions (or what goes around comes around, as the kids would say...). I'd much rather send her the money and forget about the both of them, than to have them pestering, or worse...him sitting behind bars for the next year boiling and plotting.

Thanks for your advice...the certified check will be mailed today.

 

[Zigner]

Thanks for your help and advice!

I've got a lot of growing to do! I plan on sending the $200, simply because its not worth it. It was never the money for me, but rather the principle that the couple has to accept responsibility for their part in the wedding not happening.

I think that morally...there should be some consideration for the 4 hours of consultation and the reservation of the 2 possible Saturdays in which I had to reject weddings as well.

In the end, everyone receives just recompense for their actions (or what goes around comes around, as the kids would say...). I'd much rather send her the money and forget about the both of them, than to have them pestering, or worse...him sitting behind bars for the next year boiling and plotting.

Thanks for your advice...the certified check will be mailed today.

I hope the actual lesson you learned is that you act only with signed contracts...all the rest is emotional fluff

 

[Pastor Ken]

You are right. Emotion has to be left out of it, or you'll make a mistake somewhere every single time.

This is early in my work, so its much better to learn that lesson at this point than when it really could be a problem down the road.

Blessings,