Someone is pressing charges against me

[melinda27]

CA

I found out that my husband was having a secret relationship with a coworker. I called her one day and confronted her, I don’t remember everything that was said because I was intoxicated, but she claims I threatened her. I also made a bogus account with her picture, in an effort to reach out to her husband and let him know what I had found out. She messaged me saying that she is pressing charges against me because I was crazy, for undue chaos in her life and for threatening her.

What are my options & rights?

CA

 

[justalayman]

while there could be some criminal concerns (not a small claims court issue), until/unless she actually does it, there is no way to know if the authorities would see anything you have done as criminal.

I would suggest removing the "bogus" website and laying low until something happens. Then, before speaking to the cops, it would be wise to speak with an attorney. Remember, you have the right to remain silent

use it.

 

[Proserpina]

CA

I found out that my husband was having a secret relationship with a coworker. I called her one day and confronted her, I don’t remember everything that was said because I was intoxicated, but she claims I threatened her. I also made a bogus account with her picture, in an effort to reach out to her husband and let him know what I had found out. She messaged me saying that she is pressing charges against me because I was crazy, for undue chaos in her life and for threatening her.

What are my options & rights?

CA

Wait until you're actually charged or served with something.

Until then? It's likely all hot air.

 

[melinda27]

Pressing charges

Can any of this fall into defamation of character, Libel, slander etc..
I never accused them of having an affair. I stated a secret relationship, which in my opinion is more than a friendship.

 

[Proserpina]

Can any of this fall into defamation of character, Libel, slander etc..
I never accused them of having an affair. I stated a secret relationship, which in my opinion is more than a friendship.

Please define what YOU mean by "secret relationship", and what you think others might mean.

 

[melinda27]

What I mean...

In my opinion I think they messing around....But since I dont know for sure, I just put secret relationship....which I thought can be anything.

 

[melinda27]

....

I mean when/if facts come out, it was a "Secret" relationship.

Should I have worded it better???

 

[Eekamouse]

All you have are suspicions that you cannot prove yet you stole her identity by making a bogus account so you could contact her husband and let him know? That was really stupid. Why didn't you contact him directly under your own name if you wanted him to know so badly?

 

[melinda27]

Fake account

I dont see how this can become legal and your answer didnt help.

I could not send him a message or request him as a friend. His account was blocked.

I had to come up with another way of reaching him.

I dont think it was stupid that I wanted to remail anonymous. I never mentioned my husbands name or my name.

 

[quincy]

A "secret relationship" implies an adulterous relationship. You do not have to mention names to be identifiable. After your phone call to your husband's coworker, your identity, your husband's identity, and the woman's identity are pretty much known.

You should not have "worded it better." You should not have worded it at all. Whether any libel suit will be filed over what you wrote is an unknown, but it is probably not likely for several reasons. One reason is that defamation suits are costly to pursue and there is never a guarantee of success (success largely depends on what exactly was written and what reputational injury resulted). Another reason is that what is currently a personal matter will become a public matter if a defamation action makes it to court. And another reason is that, if there is any truth to your claims of a secret relationship between your husband and this woman, she is not going to want to pursue this matter in court - truth would be an absolute defense to defamation.

Impersonating someone can lead to criminal charges, as can threats of harm, however. But it is not the woman who would be the one pressing charges against you. It is up to the prosecutor to determine if charges should be filed, this based on any complaint the woman may make to the police and after an investigation by the police into the matter. Whether any charges result from any complaint or not is anyone's guess.

You've been offered good advice already, melinda. Your options are to remove all that you have posted about the woman, cease all contact with her and/or her husband and then wait to see if any charges against you are forthcoming. Your rights are to stay silent if questioned by the police and to get an attorney if charged with a crime or sued for defamation.

Edit to add: Thanks for locking the other two threads, melinda.

 

[melinda27]

1 last question please

Thank you for your help.
I do have one question, she asked me to call her and that her and husband would be "happy" to talk to me about the situation.

But you say its better to not call or see her?

Please advise.

 

[quincy]

This question was asked by melinda of me in a private message and I will respond here with the same advice I gave her in the PM reply.

Any decision to speak with the woman and her husband is one that must be made by melinda.

I personally do not see any benefit to melinda in sitting down and talking to this couple, based on what has been posted here. Anything melinda says to this couple could potentially be used against her, should the woman move ahead with any legal action. Legal action has already been threatened and this is something that must seriously be considered in any future interactions with the woman and her husband.

I suggest that melinda consult with an attorney in her area for a review of all of the facts, before making any decision to speak with either the woman or her husband. Although it would be nice to think that the couple has no ulterior motives in suggesting this get-together, and it would be nice to think that a chat can resolve all issues amicably, it may be wisest for melinda to believe that their motives are not pure.

Again, melinda, consult with an attorney in your area for a personal review of the facts. This attorney can go over with you what exactly you wrote about the woman and this attorney can go over with you the facts and circumstances that led to your writing about her. The attorney can then advise you accordingly.

Good luck.

 

[csi7]

I agree with quincy. I would NOT speak with this couple, and I would consult with an attorney.
By the way, the attorney can explain how the use of "bogus" is not accurate to describe what you established as an account. I would take it down as mentioned. When you are attempting to share information in the least confrontational way, using an "alias" that the receiver recognizes is the best way to get the information to the receiver. Now that the receiver has the information, delete the account, since it accomplished the goal.

 

[Hot Topic]

And for heaven's sake, stop drinking!

 

[wrongsometimes]

Can any of this fall into defamation of character, Libel, slander etc..
I never accused them of having an affair. I stated a secret relationship, which in my opinion is more than a friendship.

Calling someone to their face that they are a lowlife w/o telling others .. not a cause of action.

You need to keep your mouth shut & not discuss this matter further with anyone.