this sounds easy but he's making it hard

[penni]

What is the name of your state? i live in michigan. I will try to be brief but this one is twisted one. And actually a two part question. My ex and i have been engaged for 9 yrs, we have lived exclusively with each outher all this time. We have 2 children. the first 2yrs were great we have great jobs then the company we both worked at closed,we found other jobs, with in the first month at the new job my (now) ex got hurt on the job, he was on workmans comp, and a lawsuit began, and lasted 6yrs in the meantime I continued to work (comp was 180.00 a wk for him)full time, give birth to 2children, and provide complete care for all 4of us (the ex's was a back injury) we got along well were always short of cash but we never debated it, we got along really well. Then the suit finally settled, comp settled at $30,000 and the independ settled at $100,000, after lawyer fees the ex received a total of $110,000. (that was 1yr ago to this month)the first week of receiving the money we went a bought 2 newer cars,(he bought a bravoda at $19,000 and I got a new yorker at $8,000) my ex said since my new vehicle costs much less then his that i could buy something else, now let me just say that i didnt want to spend any money I wanted to save or invest it, he wanted to enjoy it, that is why I bought a less expensive vehicle, but he prosisted so i decided since he was going to spend the money on me one way or another(he said that if i didnt pick out something he would just get me sonething on his own)so i picked out a $2,800 diamond ring thinking we could at least sell it in a pinch. We were currently renting a nice place in northern michigan near our friends and my family, when the money came in he got it in his head to move close to his family 4hrs away, i dint want to move so we started fighting, i told him if he needed a house of his own we could get one here, where the cost of living was half of the downstate,and I could keep my job and maybe he could look for one, one week he went to visit his sister and he found a house on Thursday, came to me and told me hewas buying it on Friday and we moved in on Sunday! ( he said he was moving with or without me so I moved) he didnt want to move everything so he sold our major appliances to neighbors and we bought new when we moved into the new place, he did put the new house in both our names, but all the cash from the settlement he put in a bank safety deposit box, with only he and his twin brother having keys to access it, this began the start of the end for us, he started changing, our relationship got worse, I got a job right away after the move and he didnt, 7months went by and he still wasnt working, he said the money was running out even though I was paying all the bills with my checks, so i just don't understand how that could be, but he insisted that we neede to sell the house and move back up north, i was happy to because i was miserable, i missed everyone. So we did, we moved back july 4th, 2weeks later out of the blue, he says he doesnt love and doesnt even think he can handle looking at me and trying to live a lie, shocked me because i idnt know we had come to this, but i was also relieved things hadnt felt right for a long while, so we sat down and decided to be civil, we made a list room by room to divide up 9yrs of life love and possessions, I didnt want much just my personal clothes the childrens clothes and toys, some of the cds,and we had alot of things in prs live dining roomsets and living room furnitures 4 tvs(i took one) but the big stuff he keep like a 52 in flat screen tv, valuable coinsets and antiques, 1500.00 washer and dryer, brand new pc and complete home office systems with it, the $2000.00 stereo system, gosh just everything, i was really heartsick so i just didnt fight him on anything, he said if i moved out quickly without a fuss he would give me $5,000 dollars to buy a moble home from my sister and help me set it up, he gave me the new stove and fridge because the trailer didnt have those, the rest was all being left with him, he didnt even let me take the childrens beds! he gave me 2 days to be out. So i did, he agreed to pay 100.00 a week for child support, ( he was working) So here it is 2months later, no childsupport, no money to set myself up or buy the trailer,and yesterday I get a summons and complaint stated that he is sueing me for the return of a$2,800.00 engagement ring(which it wasn't i still have my engagement ring and it costs 500.00) and he wants the return of the stove and refridge, he wants the couch and love seat set i have(one of our pairs) 2end tables, a 50.00 stainless steel knife set, and a 30.00 pr of binoculars. I couldn't believe it! He has since movied in with his mom and let me mention that when we sold the house he said we would put all the money from that in the bank and use it for bills, when i moved out he had withdrawn all the money and moved it to a private account, so i got nothing! So I would like to know how i can win this suit against him and counter sue for at least the amount he promised for the trailer and set up. And is it possible to file a seperate suit for some the settlement money he still has, I was the only worker for 7 yrs and everything that i left behind was purchased with my checks and my income tax returns, so why does he get to keep it all? I don't want to come across as a taker but I did provide for the family for all this time, is there a common law about this sort of thing? and even if he wins this suit, shouldn't i only owe him for half the value or less( because they did depreciate and I do at least half own them) Well i have to file my anser in aobut 20 days.....so any advise would help.....byt the way the county he filed the suit in, he doesnt even live in! arent you supposed to? ok so this wasnt brief, but i feel as though all of this should factor in....Thanks for your time~

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

The Voice of Conservatism

My response:

I have to be honest with you. I didn't feel like reading "War and Peace" tonight - - especially when our rules say, "Keep it Brief".

However, I skipped down to the bottom of your post, and your tag line caught my eye - -

"Proud, flag waving American since BEFORE the war! Let's bring back days of sharing afternoons with our neighbors, and knowing who lives down the street!"


I love it. And, in addition to your fine sentiments, I'm proud to be a staunch "conservative", and hope you are too!

IAAL

 

[penni]

hi ya "liable"

"keep it brief" is subjective....you should have seen my LONG version! by the way i used caps too! oooooooooooo so sue me....everybodies doing it! ps. choosing not to read "war and peace" sounds almost pro-choice...are you sure youre not a left wing liberal???? just kiddin you ..."neighbor!"

 

[theother]

Well, no matter how subjective the word you think the word "brief" is, I still don' t think your post would qualify.

"Brief" would be more like:

I lived with my ex-fiance for 9 years and had two children with him. I was the sole breadwinner/provider for the last 7 years due to a work-related injury that he got a $110k settlement for. He bought me a cheap car and engagement ring with it, but kept the rest of the money for himself though he also put me on the deed of a house that he bought last year. We sold it two months ago and he kept the proceeds. He also kept most of our furniture and other personal possessions when he kicked me out. At that time, he promised to give me 5 grand and to start paying CS. This hasn't happened and now he is suing me for the other possessions including the ring. Do I have to give him the stuff even though I bought most of it and supported him for 7 years? Can I countersue him for the stuff he has or part of the settlement? Do I have any common-law marriage rights?



You didn't ask, but you should also be asking how to set-up CS/Custody orders. You may want to visit the Custody/visitation/support forum. There is a lot of good info there.

Wow, this would have been much easier on you if just got married nine years ago. Good luck.

 

[penni]

Feeling kicked while I'm down!

Listen.... this is to anyone brave enough to get to the end of this thread, I am very sorry that my post was too long, I didn't intend for the length of my problem to be the focus, and to apparently baffle and confuse people. I do recall reading something about "being civil" with the postings and replies. So if anyone else chooses to reply to my thread please bare in mind that this is are real problem and i am seeking actual legal advice, so if you must dump on me for the length of it could you maybe please include some actual advice about the actual case. I would surly appreciate it.

 

[theother]

How was I dumping on you? I was trying to help you. I actually read through your post and tried to summarize it for you. Very few people are going to help you with a post that long especially when it is just one massive block without any paragraph breaks or anything. It's not because it is baffling or confusing. It's because it looks long, boring, and like it would take too much effort and time for people who don't have a lot of time to spare. IAAL is a lawyer and he gives great advice and you already missed him helping you because your post was too long. I thought that I could show you how to shorten it up. I thought maybe you would be tempted to edit your original post and come up with something maybe in between. Or maybe someone would read my post and be tempted to wade through yours or just simply respond to my interpretation of what you were asking. You think that was harsh or uncivil? You should read some of the other threads around here. BTW, I did give you advice. You need to get a CS order as well as filing for custody. You may want to visit the Custody/visitation/support forum because they will be able to help you better there for that. Common law marriage questions have a better chance of being answered on in one of the family law forums. And the best advice that I can give you is: keep it brief. Oh and develop a thicker skin.

 

[penni]

Ok ...........for the record .....Dear theother, my most recent post wasn't directed toward you I was simply trying to keep this whole thing from snowballing into something other then what it was intended to be, let's be honest first i got a negitive feed back with NO real legal advice (great lawyer or not, i'm sure he IS) within it..............then I received a second, that basically just agreed with the first but tried to point out a better way of stating my lengthy post and although you did include some advice, it didn't pertain to the case at hand.....i thank you for your time and you are free to think and feel as you wish, as for thicker skin perhaps you should get some as well maybe we could get a group discount! p.s. i know from my orginal post i look like a sucker but i'm not! as per your advice , i already have a custody court date I personally believe that is what began this whole thing with the ex......to the best of my limited knowledge i don't believe I can add that to this suit as a counter claim, once again let me just say how sorry i am that my post was long ..........i am sorry if my replies have seemed offensive............and i am also sorry that there were no paragragh breaks, i just didnt think of it, golly I was just looking for some ideas on the subject, I really didnt intend to have all this be so upsetting.....i am more distressed now then before i stumbled on to this site with a hope and a prayer.........my hope is gone at least i still have prayer........

 

[theother]

yeah, okay. good luck.

 

[penni]

Took your advice !

Well i took your advice (theother) and i did read thru some other posts.....and after reading thru what 6 or 7 pages of posts, concerning "shaking in our pants" I realize that you all have alot bigger things going on around here then worrying about my little small claims question! DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA! yikes!!! once again I am sorry........ps, after my last big fat heartfelt "i'm sorry" you could have at least thrown in a little mercy legal advice!!!! i mean come on throw me a bone here!!!!! heehheehehe ..........come on helping me will give you a break from that what did you call her??? oh yes that complaining stalker! BTW i'm a nice normal person who is just having an off week!

 

[stephenk]

first, you should not be making your claim in small claims court.

Second, tomorrow make an appointment with a family law attorney to discuss child support and division of assets. Make the appointment the first thing you do tomorrow, I mean it.

 

[theother]

honestly, penni, I'm not trying to be a jerk to you. I don't know that much about your situation. I can't give you any legal advice about it.

I can tell you that Michigan doesn't recognize common law marriages. Oh, and in the archives (https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=75533&highlight=engagement+ring+and+michigan )
there was a citation where the appellate court ruled that "In sum, we hold that an engagement ring given in contemplation of marriage is an impliedly conditional gift that is a completed gift only upon marriage. If the engagement is called off, for whatever reason, the gift is not capable of becoming a completed gift and must be returned to the donor."

Other than that, the best help that I could give you is to tell you how to better utilize this site so that you can maximize the amount of people who will read your post and respond. Personally, I would also sue for any of the sale proceeds on the house since you were on title, but, I just don't know. Please try the family law forum. They really give good advice there. Anyway, hopefully, you will get more and better responses soon. This site is much more active during the week. Also, don't let the hoopla that is going on right now fool you. This site is normally much more helpful and civil than what you see now. It should calm down once some moderators come in and kick some @ss. Good luck to you. Please seek some legal advice.

 

[penni]

Thanks! I will take all of the above advice......ps. the ring in question wasn't an engaement ring, it was just an expensive ring i do have an engagement ring(different one, with retail value of about 400-800.00) which i have already offer to give back otfen, he refuses it, says for me to keep that one, because it has more sentimental value and wants me to give it to our daughter one day....... he only called the more expensive ring an "engagement ring" because, he wants it back and because he thinks that he can convince the judge that it is one and then he has to order me to give it back, he even said so, he also is not sueing for the return of the ring, or any of the other stuff, he wants a dollar amount as a settlement, also, I have sold the ring to help me pay off other (mutal ) past due bills, he just doesnt know that. yet ok well thanks all i have to go make that call now !