Verbal vs. Written Agreements

[icefirenze]

What is the name of your state? California.

I am being sued in small claims court by an ex-boyfriend for money he gave me when I purchased my home. He signed a "gift letter" during my real estate deal, that the money is a gift, and not expected to be repaid.

But he's claiming we had a verbal agreement otherwise. Is there any chance at all that his claims of verbal agreements will have any weight over what's in writing?

If so, any advice on how to best show, that like many other things in our relationship, his story was continually changing. I do admit that we spoke about it being a loan if we ever broke up, but wouldn't have to pay it back if we stayed together (obviously.) But I'm worried that he won't admit the other conversations, like the one where he told me I deserved the money, and he was happy that he gave it to me.

If it matters, we basically lived together. I lived at his house until he told me that we couldn't live together since it went against his religious beliefs. So, I got my house, and he lived at my house every day after that, until we broke up. (A good example of his ever changing sense of self.) Other than the gift money, he never contributed to my mortgage or bills. (We shared food expenses, but that's it.) I did not contribute to his mortgage or bills while I was staying with him, either.

 

[Betty]

Am I correct that in the "gift" letter it didn't mention you would have to pay back the money if you broke up - that was just something you talked about at one time.

 

[seniorjudge]

... Is there any chance at all that his claims of verbal agreements will have any weight over what's in writing? ....

Did you do anything to change the terms of the gift letter?

 

[icefirenze]

The gift letter says that the money is a gift, not a loan, and is not expected to be repaid.

 

[icefirenze]

I'm not sure what I could've done to change the terms of the gift letter? Except maybe that it mentions I was his fiancee, and I am no longer his fiancee.

There were no terms laid out, it was simply "Mr. A gives Ms. B, his fiancee, X amount of dollars toward the purchase of her home. This money is a gift, not a loan. No re-payment is expected." And he signed it.

 

[seniorjudge]

I'm not sure what I could've done to change the terms of the gift letter? Except maybe that it mentions I was his fiancee, and I am no longer his fiancee.

There were no terms laid out, it was simply "Mr. A gives Ms. B, his fiancee, X amount of dollars toward the purchase of her home. This money is a gift, not a loan. No re-payment is expected." And he signed it.

If I were you, I would tell him to bite rocks.

 

[buckbill]

Depends on if he in fact signed this agreement you are referring to. If he denies signing anything and you can't produce it, well it will depend on who the court chooses to believe.
Why do you want to get out of repaying this money so badly? I am sure that the other person wont admit these other conversations you are referring to.

 

[icefirenze]

Not only can I produce the letter, but I have the original with his signature, in ink. And copies of the checks.

Why don't I just give him the money? Do you give people whatever they demand just to shut them up, even when they don't deserve it? I think there's a lesson here for him to learn, that you can't change your mind everyday from black to white, and every shade of gray--and then expect anyone to give credence to one particular day's opinion, just because it now suits your needs.

You're right, I am worried that he won't admit the conversations. All I can hope is that the judge will see I'm not hiding anything, and he must be lying. I'm prepared with lots of other examples of how he changed his mind regularly to suit his daily whims. Like the fact I mentioned earlier, that I bought the house in the first place because his religion doesn't allow us to live together before we get married... then he stays at my house every night for the next six months. Or the way he decides were supposed to be celibate, then finds a way to handle it in his own mind, then decides he's only human and allowed to have needs, then decides he wants to be celibate again.... all conveniently serving his fears of commitment, which he once admitted, but now of course has forgotten that admission.

I doubt a judge cares about all that, but I'm ready if these examples (and many others) are needed to show that one day's decision isn't necessarily tomorrows for my ex. I believe this will help the judge see an inability to draw a conclusion, based on an ever changing lack of decision from my ex. If the written agreement isn't enough to draw a conclusion.

Thanks for your advice, everyone.

 

[beta]

The bottom line here is when you borrow money! Stop thinking of excuses to suit your selfish needs!!! Pay the money back! Is it possible you are changing your story on this forum until you get the response or answers you are looking for??? It is possible!!

 

[LSCAP]

She didn't borrow it. It was a gift.

Well.... I'm kinda sore at my son. mmmm Maybe I'll tell him to give back the computer I gave him a couple of years ago.....nah....Just the Printer.....Nah... The computer and the printer.....Ahhh...I'll let him keep the mouse......wellll, maybe.....LOL


senior judge. I like that.....BITE ROCKS... perfect.

 

[shannon-cl]

A gift is one thing. However, when you stated that you feel he doesn't deserve to repaid the money! That is your opinion not the Judge's! It is evident you have some anger and animosity toward him. He may feel now that you were the one that didn't deserve the loan in the first place. I have a problem with your way of thinking "HE DOESN"T DESERVE THE MONEY" what are you saying he isn't entitled to his money?? Just because you are angry with someone, it doesn't give you any right legally or otherwise to keep the money!
If the situation were reversed, how would you feel??

 

[Ohiogal]

The bottom line here is when you borrow money! Stop thinking of excuses to suit your selfish needs!!! Pay the money back! Is it possible you are changing your story on this forum until you get the response or answers you are looking for??? It is possible!!

WRONG! The bottom line is that money was given as a down payment on the house and if the gift paper signed was a bank note stating to the bank that this was a gift for a downpayment then boyfriend has committed fraud by now asking for the money back when he swore to the bank that it was a gift.

 

[Ohiogal]

A gift is one thing. However, when you stated that you feel he doesn't deserve to repaid the money! That is your opinion not the Judge's! It is evident you have some anger and animosity toward him. He may feel now that you were the one that didn't deserve the loan in the first place. I have a problem with your way of thinking "HE DOESN"T DESERVE THE MONEY" what are you saying he isn't entitled to his money?? Just because you are angry with someone, it doesn't give you any right legally or otherwise to keep the money!
If the situation were reversed, how would you feel??

The money was a gift and most probably signed that way as part of the mortgage documents. If boyfriend decides to sue for the money now then he committed fraud by lying to the bank in order to help his fiancee or girlfriend obtain a mortgage. The fraud would have been committed by boyfriend in signing the document.