What should I sue for?

[ms2001]

I'm a 30-something male in Ontario, Canada. I met a fellow from California in 2005 who said he was a 20-year old down-on-his-luck student. We became friends and in 2006 and 2007, I gave him money and computer equipment for school (he said that he was taking a computer program). This totaled about $2,000.

We continued being friends (we did not have a romantic or sexual relationship, and never met in person), but I started to see many holes in his story. I decided to end our cyber friendship in mid 2007. In mid 2008, he found me on an social networking site. He got banned a few months later and assumed that I was behind it. in Jan, 2009, he published a blog about me. In this blog, he posted all of our private chats and everything that I ever gave him, including g-rated photos of myself, videos of my family, and naked photos that he obtained from a mutual online friend.

I did what my lawyer advised me and ignored him, not giving him the attention he was craving. Meanwhile, my online business flopped because the high-profile blog scared off most of my clients away (if you googled my name or my business' name, the first results page showed several links to his blog). I had to end my business, since I didn't have enough clients to sustain it. I have had to change professions, and I'm not going back to school to study a non-IT program.

Since then, I found out that he was not the person who he claimed to be. He was 20 years older and not in school.

My question is: what do I sue for? I can't afford a lawyer, so I suppose that I'll have to go to small claims court. The limit of the court in his area is around $7,000. He has defrauded me out of $2000, cost me at least $3000 in business at the time, and ruined any future earning potential, he harassed me with that embarassing blog, he defamed me in the blog (he wrote in it every day), he slandered me (calling me all kinds of names in the blog), he caused me much pain and suffering and emotional distress over this whole ordeal.

Yesterday, I got an email from him because he wanted answers to questions regarding mutual friends. He said that if I didn't answer them, he'll put the blog back up.

I am at my wit's end. I want a court order for him to stop him from doing this, but I also want to sue for damages. He ruined my life. I think that harassment is obvious, but should I also sue for pain and suffering and fraud? Or anything else?

 

[racer72]

I'm a 30-something male in Ontario, Canada.

US law only.

 

[ms2001]

US law only.

I'm suing somebody who lives in California. I have to file the claim in a California court. Believe me, if I could sue him from here, I would.

 

[justalayman]

you sue for the $2k you lent him.

whoops, you said you gave it to him.

You don't sue him for anything.

he defamed me in the blog (he wrote in it every day)

, did he lie about you? Truth, opinion, and stating something that is not believable are not defamation

he slandered me (calling me all kinds of names in the blog)

calling you names is not defamation.

 

[JETX]

what do I sue for?

Simple answer... you can't sue him for anything. The problem is, you "gave him money and computer equipment", not a loan.

I can't afford a lawyer, so I suppose that I'll have to go to small claims court.

And that prevents your suing him for any of his published data... even if you had a valid claim (you don't). Small claims court in California is ONLY for monetary claims.

The limit of the court in his area is around $7,000. He has defrauded me out of $2000, cost me at least $3000 in business at the time, and ruined any future earning potential, he harassed me with that embarassing blog, he defamed me in the blog (he wrote in it every day), he slandered me (calling me all kinds of names in the blog), he caused me much pain and suffering and emotional distress over this whole ordeal.

As noted above.... if you have any claim for those items, they would have to be pursued in California Superior Court... in the county where he lives.

Yesterday, I got an email from him because he wanted answers to questions regarding mutual friends. He said that if I didn't answer them, he'll put the blog back up.

Then you will have to pursue your 'take it down' claim against whatever site he has the blog at.

I want a court order for him to stop him from doing this, but I also want to sue for damages. He ruined my life. I think that harassment is obvious, but should I also sue for pain and suffering and fraud? Or anything else?

Your only possible remedy would be to get a RO (Civil Restraining Order) from a California court to restrict his postings about you. Information and access to the forms (CH-100 and CH-120) can be found online at:
http://www.kinseylaw.com/freestuff/selfhelp/civilharassment/freecivilharassmentforms.html

 

[ms2001]

you sue for the $2k you lent him.

whoops, you said you gave it to him.

You don't sue him for anything.


, did he lie about you? Truth, opinion, and stating something that is not believable are not defamation

calling you names is not defamation.

Yes. I gave it to him because he told me that he was 21, living at home, and that he was taking a full-time computer program at school. He claimed that he was adopted, but his adoptive parents were not helping him with school and that he had to drop out. I have all of this documented.

Since then, I have found out that he was 41, not in school (he graduated 6 years earlier), and his parents pay for everything he has or needs. In my book, this is fraud and I want my money back. He can keep the computer parts... they are worthless now.

...And that prevents your suing him for any of his published data... even if you had a valid claim (you don't). Small claims court in California is ONLY for monetary claims.

His blog, in which he called me a hacker, schizophrenic, manic depressive, etc, has cost my my online business, which is my only livelihood. How is this not a monetary damage? What more does he need to do to destroy my income for me to collect damages. I can now barely pay for my rent, let alone a lawyer.

As noted above.... if you have any claim for those items, they would have to be pursued in California Superior Court... in the county where he lives.

I simply can't afford a lawyer. No lawyer in CA is going to give a Canuck a pro-bono case. My only option seems to either represent myself in a superior court (which I hear is very unwise), or take him to small claims court.

Then you will have to pursue your 'take it down' claim against whatever site he has the blog at.

I primarily want a court order to prevent him from writing this blog. It has caused me unspeakable grief. I also want monetary compensation for all of the clients and income that he has cost me. I also want $2000 that, I believe, he defrauded me out of.

Your only possible remedy would be to get a RO (Civil Restraining Order) from a California court to restrict his postings about you. Information and access to the forms (CH-100 and CH-120) can be found online at:
Free Legal Forms - California Civil Harassment Forms - From Kinsey Law Offices

Thank you. I have talked to police and lawyers and none of them have mentioned this. I will definitely look into it.

I'm still wondering why I can't sue him in a small claims court.

 

[JETX]

Yes. I gave it to him because he told me that he was 21, living at home, and that he was taking a full-time computer program at school. He claimed that he was adopted, but his adoptive parents were not helping him with school and that he had to drop out. I have all of this documented.

Not relevant.

Since then, I have found out that he was 41, not in school (he graduated 6 years earlier), and his parents pay for everything he has or needs. In my book, this is fraud and I want my money back. He can keep the computer parts... they are worthless now.

See my earlier post. You GAVE him the money with no repayment obligation.

His blog, in which he called me a hacker, schizophrenic, manic depressive, etc, has cost my my online business, which is my only livelihood. How is this not a monetary damage? What more does he need to do to destroy my income for me to collect damages. I can now barely pay for my rent, let alone a lawyer.

Simply, it isn't. You may have a claim for defamation and subsequent damages.... but that is an expensive claim to pursue... and you already said you can't afford it.

I simply can't afford a lawyer. No lawyer in CA is going to give a Canuck a pro-bono case. My only option seems to either represent myself in a superior court (which I hear is very unwise), or take him to small claims court.

See earlier post. Can you afford to travel to his home county in California at least once, and stay for a day or two??
If so, go ahead and file. I predict you won't prevail... but weirder things have happened.

I primarily want a court order to prevent him from writing this blog.

See my earlier post.

It has caused me unspeakable grief.

Sorry, but 'grief' is not compensable.

I also want monetary compensation for all of the clients and income that he has cost me. I also want $2000 that, I believe, he defrauded me out of.

What you WANT has nothing to do with this. You can WANT all you can... but you still have to realize you were an idiot to fall for his story, learn from it, accept it, and move on.

I'm still wondering why I can't sue him in a small claims court.

You can sue. One of OUR (US) rights is that almost anyone can sue almost anyone else over almost anything. The problem here is that you have no case and can't afford one if you did.

If it will make you feel better... go ahead and sue him in CANADA. I believe the end result will still be the same, but you might be able to accept it.

 

[ms2001]

You can sue. One of OUR (US) rights is that almost anyone can sue almost anyone else over almost anything. The problem here is that you have no case and can't afford one if you did.

If it will make you feel better... go ahead and sue him in CANADA. I believe the end result will still be the same, but you might be able to accept it.

Are you really telling me that it's legal for one man to destroy another man's life, particularly when it was totally unprovoked?


I can afford to go to California for a few days to sue him in small claims. I just don't know what to sue for. He's screwed my life up in so many ways that I don't know where to start.

He's ruined my small business and cost me clients and income worth at least $2000. He has also cost me future clients and earnings, but I don't know if that counts.

He's published a very embarassing and humiliating blog, so I'm sure that I can sue for harassment. He marked the blog and posted the link everywhere he could. (If you googled my name, his blog would be the result).

He's caused me and my family great distress, so I think I can sue him for pain and suffering.

He's written lies about me on his public blog. Is this defamation or libel?

He's posted private videos, photos, etc of my friends and family. Is this an invasion of privacy (I'm not a celeb)?

I just don't know where to begin. The harassment seems obvious and that was the intent of the blog, but that blog has caused much more harm than just harassment. It's affected my entire life.

He bilked me out of $2000 by pretending to be a starving student. This still seems like fraud to me. I don't know if that's a civil or criminal matter.

Posting countless private chats, photos and videos of myself, my friends and my family seems to constitute invasion of privacy. I don't know if I can sue for that. He put ALL of my private life online.

On top of all this, he's made several death threats in private and on forums. I'm sure that this is a criminal matter, as well as his stalking.

I have all of the above well-documented with emails, private messages, phone conversations and witnesses.

Here is what I want to do: I want to sue him for $2000 for harassment, $2000 for intentional infliction of emotional distress and $1000 for pain and suffering and I want a court order for him to stop blogging about me and harassing me. I'm willing to let the $2000 that he fooled me out of slide. Is this claim realistic?

Also, should I sue for $2000 for harassment and $2000 for intentional infliction of emotional distress or should I sue for $4000 for harassment and nothing for emotional distress? When a judge reads my claim, I don't want him scoffing.

I know that my stalker/harasser appeal, so I'll have to shell out another $500 for an airplane ticket for that. This is all so crazy.

 

[justalayman]

=ms2001;2278256]Are you really telling me that it's legal for one man to destroy another man's life, particularly when it was totally unprovoked?

depending on how it is done, yes, it may be legal.

He's ruined my small business and cost me clients and income worth at least $2000. He has also cost me future clients and earnings, but I don't know if that counts.

and you can prove this? You have testimony stating such? Something, anything?

He's published a very embarassing and humiliating blog, so I'm sure that I can sue for harassment.

You are surely wrong.

He's caused me and my family great distress, so I think I can sue him for pain and suffering.

and the proof is...?

He's written lies about me on his public blog. Is this defamation or libel?

libel is a form of defamation and if you can prove this, then go for it but I do not believe small claims deals with such cases so now we are at thousands of dollars and many trips to Cali to sue. Ready?

He's posted private videos, photos, etc of my friends and family. Is this an invasion of privacy (I'm not a celeb)?

they weren't private if he legally had them.

He bilked me out of $2000 by pretending to be a starving student. This still seems like fraud to me. I don't know if that's a civil or criminal matter.

deceptive, yes. criminal fraud, not a chance. you failed to perform your due diligence to assure yourself you were not being taken.

Posting countless private chats, photos and videos of myself, my friends and my family seems to constitute invasion of privacy. I don't know if I can sue for that. He put ALL of my private life online

. Sorry but nothing on the internet is private and as I said, if he came by the pics and vids legally, they are his to post.

On top of all this, he's made several death threats in private and on forums. I'm sure that this is a criminal matter, as well as his stalking.

now, IF YOU HAVE PROOF of not only the threats but that he is the one that threatened you, call the police and report it and seek a PPO.

I have all of the above well-documented with emails, private messages, phone conversations and witnesses.

then call the police.

Here is what I want to do: I want to sue him for $2000 for harassment, $2000 for intentional infliction of emotional distress and $1000 for pain and suffering

then whip out the checkbook and write at least 4 zero's and leave a space in front of that for a number. Then call some attorneys and ask them what number to out in front of the zero's.

and I want a court order for him to stop blogging about me

not going to happen. I can write about you as much as I desire.

and harassing me

. if he is actually harassing you, call the police.

I'm willing to let the $2000 that he fooled me out of slide. Is this claim realistic?

sure. just follow the directions I gave you.

Also, should I sue for $2000 for harassment and $2000 for intentional infliction of emotional distress or should I sue for $4000 for harassment and nothing for emotional distress? When a judge reads my claim, I don't want him scoffing.

dang guy. I would start at $1M. I mean, if you want to dream, dream big because just like a dream, this isn't real.

I know that my stalker/harasser appeal, so I'll have to shell out another $500 for an airplane ticket for that. This is all so crazy.

10 or 20 times that is more realistic and that is most likely on the very low side.

On top of that, unless this guy actually has money, how do you intend on collecting any judgement? The courts enter the judgement. It is up to you to collect it.