elder refuses to quit driving

[edithgrove]

What is the name of your state? Louisiana

Hello everyone!

About a month ago, I posted about my elderly aunt (in DeKalb County, Georgia) refusing to give up driving.
I sent a letter to Georgia Dept. of Driver Services explaining my concern, and the DDS sent my aunt a letter requiring her to get medical approval to drive.
Since her own doctor suggested she do not drive, my aunt went "doctor shopping" and found an M.D. that give her approval.
My aunt is 88 years old, has severe arthritis, and has had several accidents recently after a lifetime of clean driving.
I am convinced that she should not be driving.
Do I have any other options I can use to legally prevent her from driving?

 

[xylene]

Ask her doctor to convey in writing his concern to the Georgia Dept. of Driver Services.

He may have privacy issues in doing this. Maybe not.

I suggest you simply keep badgering the aunt and keep up with driver services if you notice any change.

 

[GulfBreeze]

hopefully she will not injure or kill anyone and if she does, will have plenty of insurance to cover their lose. it would be a shame if anyone is just because she refused to stop driving. of course she could shop around and find someone who would say she is fit. i hope they realize that they "might" be liable for saying she is. lets face it, people that old don't have the physical or mental abilities to react to certain traffic situations and might jeopardizes the lives of others that share the same roads with her. no different than a drunk driver.

 

[edithgrove]

Contact GDSS again and ask if they have a provision or regulation for requiring her to retake a driving exam, beyond just a note from a doctor.

Good idea, although the DDS did send her a detailed form to be filled out and signed by the M.D., rather than a simple note from the doctor.

 

[xylene]

Try an emotional approach

Go offer to her house with several insurance prospectuses and Say:

"Aunt Won't Stop Driving, I want to buy you a bunch of insurance. Because I want your estate to be able to pay off the family of the 5 year old boy your driving is going to kill. It's the only way I could live with myself."

PS - The oldest licensed driver was 108.

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: Do I have any other options I can use to legally prevent her from driving?

A: Remove the distributor.

 

[HomeGuru]

Q: Do I have any other options I can use to legally prevent her from driving?

A: Remove the distributor.

**A: my advice is to remove the vehicle or redesign it to look like a coffin.

 

[edithgrove]

Q: Do I have any other options I can use to legally prevent her from driving?

A: Remove the distributor.

LOL! I wish it was that simple.

My aunt's sense of reality may be warped, but she's not completely out of it. If the car won't start, she gets it fixed. If her doctor says no, she finds one that will say yes.

My aunt has said that she "has a right" to drive, and will not agree that driving is a privilege.

Currently, she is without a car. Is it somehow possible to prevent her from purchasing a new car or acquiring new insurance? I do not know yet if her current insurance has been dropped since her latest accident.

 

[edithgrove]

I hate to ask the hard question... but have you offered her any reasonable alternatives to driving?

Yes, I have.

My aunt has many friends that she spends time and attends functions with. My sister has recently moved to her area (I live out of state) to take care of my mother. They could coordinate appointments together. My aunt has managed her money well over the years, and it would not be a problem for her to call a cab if it was necessary to get somewhere quickly.

She simply insists that she be totally self-sufficient and refuses to "lose her freedom" by giving up driving.

After her latest accident, she mentioned that she would have preferred to die in that crash rather than give up driving, and I think she means it. I lost my father (her brother) a little over a year ago, and he had to give up driving for health reasons not very long before he passed away. Perhaps she believes that by giving up driving, her time will not be very far off. I just thought of that possibility while writing this.

 

[xylene]

Your Aunt's para-suicidal statement suggests that she may be contemplating autocide (suicide by motor vehicle accident)

This is surprisingly common, especially among the older population.

In the past fatal high speed single vehicle accident with an elderly driver were just choked up as, "She fell asleep, had a stroke, etc..." Better investigation reveals that, while the absence of a suicide note is typical for autocide, many times there are numerous indica of suicide (expressed intent, inordinate estate planning, sudden gifts, earlier para-suicidal gestures or expression, etc..)

I'm not trying to be morbid, just real. Your Aunt might find a lot of comfort in talking to a skilled elder counselor.

 

[edithgrove]

Thank you, xylene!

I've never before heard of autocide. I'll keep your advice in mind while I work through this.

 

[GulfBreeze]

if she is thinking about autocide, hopefully it wont involve homicide as well....would hate to think that she took some other innocent life because of her lack to give up her "right" to drive.