| |  |
| Home | Law Advice | Insurance Advice | Community |
| |
| ||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||
| | |||||||||||||
| |||||||
| | |
 |
| | LinkBack | Thread Tools | Rate Thread | Display Modes |
|
#1
10-21-2009, 02:51 PM
| |||
| |||
Kicked off the TeamWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA My son is 10, first year playing football, second game. He slammed the ball down after getting tackled, got yelled at by coaches, got mad and sat down refusing to slap hands of the other team. Terrible sportsmanship!! He got suspended by the coach for the following week of practice, and 1 game because those are the rules according to the league "Code of Conduct." The next night, coach calls and says a board member (who is also Super Mom) saw his misbehavior, took it before the board, they voted, and my son can't come back. I attended the next board meeting, just to let them know that little kids that are treated like garbage enough times, grow up to be just that. There are ways of teaching them at this age, and there are ways of damaging them beyond repair. They said it takes too much of the coaches time away from <their kids> and if <their kids> see him acting this way, they'll think it's ok for them to do. Pathetic. And they are totally free from any governing policies, rules, codes, or anything that says they can't do as they please in these kids lives. If only I had known! The Code of Conduct only mentions suspension, it doesn't say for how long, is the reference I recieved at the meeting. I really looked forward to the benefits my son would get from playing and being a part of something. I never expected it to be such a huge set back. The financial hardship, I'll be recovering from for a few months, which is much easier to endure when it's for a good reason. I'm a single mom, his father died 6 years ago, and I'm aware that I've been guilty of the typical overcompensation spoiling of my child. In my attempt to undo, I have litterally paid people to screw over my kid. The whole intention was to be my way of giving him some very tough life lessons. He wanted to quit, he can be a spoiled brat. He didn't make first string, wanted to quit, thought he wouldn't be a running back, wanted to quit. I told him no. You wanted to play, we paid a lot of money for you to play, you are part of a team now, your team needs you, you start something you are going to finish it, quitting is not the answer, etc. All the things I wanted to come from this experience were ripped out from under him and me. I compare this to a kid in a juvenile correction facility being kicked out (or set free) because he had a bad day and broke two of the house rules. He would only learn from that, that the worse he acts, the better the chances are of him getting his way. If he had to stay, and FACE some consequences, there would be a lesson in it. If he were suspended, as the contract says, and had to go back and catch up with the rest of the team, he might feel that, but tossed out is providing him with nothing beneficial, and a lot that is detrimental. |
|
#2
10-21-2009, 02:53 PM
| |||
| |||
| Your kid is learning that he can't act like a spoiled brat to get his way. He's actually getting a <gasp!> consequence for his actions. Take this opportunity to TEACH your child that his actions have consequences...you would hate if if the only lesson he got out of this was "Mommy gives in to my tantrums and Mommy will fix this for me."
__________________ * * The information I gave is based on my 7 seconds of research on Google. Review the information yourself to make an informed decision. Communication is KEY - 10 mins of talking now can save you months of headaches later! Masterfully stating the obvious to the oblivious! (Thanks SP!) Tell it like it is! When all else fails, make up a statistic!  Gender references shall apply equally to the other gender. I will not correct gender mistakes (unless I want to) |
|
#3
10-21-2009, 02:54 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
Did you have a question? |
|
#4
10-22-2009, 02:41 AM
| |||
| |||
| 2. Good citizenship is a must! Any player, who has behavioral issues with the law enforcement and/or school officials, SHALL be subject to suspension from the team. (Player’s Initials _____ ) (Parent’s Initials _______ ). 12. A player may be benched or not allowed to participate in a game or portions of a game for violation of Player’s Code of Conduct. My question is: These two items on the Code of Conduct are the only mention of disciplinary procedures for the league. At the board meeting I asked them why the contract we signed states that Code of Conduct violations result in removal from all or part of the next game, and wanted to know where the power came from that allows them to change the rules to suit their own agenda? The President pulled out the "Code" and read to me No. 2 and noted that it does not specify a length for the suspension. Since he did not get in trouble with law enforcement or school officials, No. 2 does not apply. Is what they are doing legal? Or just evil? |
|
#5
10-22-2009, 02:07 PM
| |||
| |||
| Now is the time for your child to learn to be responsible and accountable for his actions. He won't learn this lesson if you interfere. It is your responsibility to be his moral compass. Be a good one.
__________________ Quote:
|
|
#6
10-22-2009, 05:37 PM
| |||
| |||
| I love how the answers I get from people are to lay down and take this and let my son learn from it. The lessons in what happened are that you don't have to be responsible, you have to be a brat to get your way. You don't have to follow rules, this league doesn't, their kids run laps when they are bad, my kid disappears. You don't have to finish what you start, and being a part of a team means diddly. It would seem that people who volunteer care and want to help, but when a single mom with health issues begs for help teaching her child some values, and gets shot down, it defeats the purpose of the "non-profit" volunteer privileges they recieve. My kid is not dumb enough to not see this for what it is. The kids with the picket fence life that have everything going for them get more. The have not's get nothing. Isn't that what is wrong with society? If you have it you can keep it and get more of it, if you don't have it, you can never get it. Greed, I don't want it. |
|
#7
10-22-2009, 07:28 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
The lesson your son should have learned was that you can't take a tantrum and act like a spoiled brat (which, come on, was precisely what happened) without there being consequences.
__________________ ***************************** When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all. — Austin Grossman Quote:
|
|
#8
10-22-2009, 07:47 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
__________________ Quote:
|
|
#9
10-22-2009, 09:27 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
 I cannot for the life of me find anything suggesting the school made their decision based upon those two things.
__________________ ***************************** When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all. — Austin Grossman Quote:
|
|
#10
10-23-2009, 03:46 AM
| |||
| |||
| It would not matter if he were kicked off for picking his nose, there is nothing stopping this board from doing whatever they want. The rules are only there for the kids to follow, with capital consequences when they don't, but when they blatantly disregard the rules, that they initiated, there are no consequences for them. Does any kid exist that has mastered control of all emotion at the age of 10? Some people don't ever master it. And most leagues, I have found have a course of action, a warning, then benched for the first quarter, then benched for a game, some have clean up duty, some have extra running exercises. A kid is only removed as a last resort, after a good portion of the season has had no effect, never the second game. Rhode Island has a board that governs the youth sports boards, and gives parents an outlet to solve disputes such as this. If I could move there I would. |
|
#11
10-23-2009, 06:39 AM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
Otherwise deal with what every other parent (like most of us here) has to deal with - reality.
__________________ ***************************** When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all. — Austin Grossman Quote:
|
|
#12
10-23-2009, 07:51 AM
| ||||||
| ||||||
| Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
__________________ Quote:
|
|
#13
10-23-2009, 04:32 PM
| |||
| |||
| I am amazed that y'all with your higher education are unable to comprehend that this absolutely IS about ME trying to teach my son morals and ethics and using sports to help in doing this is pretty traditional. You are also unable to see that this league has violated both of us in violating their own disciplinary procedures that WE had to sign and agree to in the beginning, teaching my son both terrible ethics and values, and terrible morals in that rules are not rules at all. We live in a small town and the leagues I found on the internet are inaccessible, or believe that I would transfer to one of them in an instant. I have left the subject alone with my son, and he has no idea I am carrying on about it, but it invades my dreams at night, and I am unable to let it go. For the simple fact that what they are doing is not just legal, but totally acceptable in a country that should have enough intelligence to see when ignorant grown-ups need to be regulated before they harm our kids and our future. |
|
#14
10-23-2009, 04:47 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
__________________ ***************************** When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all. — Austin Grossman Quote:
|
|
#15
10-23-2009, 06:02 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
I'm at a loss to understand why OP believes the organizers and coaches of this football league are any way responsible to teach her son these "very tough life lessons" that she herself has not. If I had a ten year old whom I had enrolled in an expensive activity, and two games/sessions into it said ten year old a) insisted on quitting, or b) behaved in such a way that s/he was barred from participating, I would not hesitate to turn that into a teaching moment. That ten year old would spend every minute that s/he otherwise would have been traveling to and participating in that activity knocking on our neighbors' doors, offering to rake leaves, shovel snow, walk dogs, etc., in order to recoup the participation fee.
__________________ It's not a slam at you when people are rude -- it's a slam at the people they've met before. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Last Tycoon You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride Last edited by proud_parent; 10-23-2009 at 06:06 PM. |
|
Linear Mode
