How should I file? Separated with 2 children in my custody

[HappyHatter]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? :Alabama

I've been separated from my husband, not legally, for 4 years. The children live with me, and visit their Father occasionally on the weekend. My youngest son has Autism, which keeps me from holding down a steady job. Their Father wants to file and claim all of us, then split the return in half. I have the children the majority of the time. I would like to file and claim the children. (it's not about the money, it's the principle) What options do I have?

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? :Alabama

I've been separated from my husband, not legally, for 4 years. The children live with me, and visit their Father occasionally on the weekend. My youngest son has Autism, which keeps me from holding down a steady job. Their Father wants to file and claim all of us, then split the return in half. I have the children the majority of the time. I would like to file and claim the children. (it's not about the money, it's the principle) What options do I have?

dad files, claims the children. you file, claim the children. you both get audited. that will be really fun for you.

file for divorce. get it negotiated in court who claims who after visitation time has been clarified.

 

[ecmst12]

Your choices are married joint or married separate. But do you even have any income of your own?

 

[HappyHatter]

dad files, claims the children. you file, claim the children. you both get audited. that will be really fun for you.

file for divorce. get it negotiated in court who claims who after visitation time has been clarified.

I appreciate your advice.

I tried divorce, uncontested, spent $5000.00 on an attorney only to have the Father not cooperate at all. I don't want to drag my children through a long, messy divorce. I had to deal with my parents divorce and my Father did the same thing to my Mother until she finally gave up.
Sometimes it sounds easier said than done.

 

[HappyHatter]

Your choices are married joint or married separate. But do you even have any income of your own?

Yes, I garden while the children are in school. Not much pay but it's a flexible schedule for the children.

 

[Isis1]

I appreciate your advice.

I tried divorce, uncontested, spent $5000.00 on an attorney only to have the Father not cooperate at all. I don't want to drag my children through a long, messy divorce. I had to deal with my parents divorce and my Father did the same thing to my Mother until she finally gave up.
Sometimes it sounds easier said than done.

hon, it may not seem messy now, but it can get messier without court orders. are there ANY court orders now?

 

[HappyHatter]

hon, it may not seem messy now, but it can get messier without court orders. are there ANY court orders now?

Oh, it is messy now. I try and keep as much from the kids as possible, but I don't have the heart to keep them from their Grandparents (who doesn't help the situation) And from what my attorney told me it can practically kill you going in front of a judge. I used all of my savings hiring a very good attorney who finally told me he just could not deal with him any longer. I paid my attorney in March of 2008 and he gave up in August of 2009. I do get child support, I had to go through the state to get him to pay. Now I don't have the $5000.00 to hire another attorney, and after 21 years of marriage, I'm starting to wonder if he's enjoying all of this confusion.
I have been told the last thing a judge wants is to see two parents scraping in court.

I'm sorry, I just asked about taxes, I really didn't mean to ramble on about my personal life. I'll have to save and ask an accountant to help me.

 

[Proserpina]

Oh, it is messy now. I try and keep as much from the kids as possible, but I don't have the heart to keep them from their Grandparents (who doesn't help the situation) And from what my attorney told me it can practically kill you going in front of a judge. I used all of my savings hiring a very good attorney who finally told me he just could not deal with him any longer. I paid my attorney in March of 2008 and he gave up in August of 2009. I do get child support, I had to go through the state to get him to pay. Now I don't have the $5000.00 to hire another attorney, and after 21 years of marriage, I'm starting to wonder if he's enjoying all of this confusion.
I have been told the last thing a judge wants is to see two parents scraping in court.

I'm sorry, I just asked about taxes, I really didn't mean to ramble on about my personal life. I'll have to save and ask an accountant to help me.

Let me put this another way, Mom.

If the parents cannot co-parent effectively, it's actually best to have the court intervene and the judges acknowledge this. Divorce is, by definition, a hostile act (even if the parents are relatively friendly). There's nothing wrong with going to court to have things ordered and/or clarified when needed. What the courts don't like to see is parents who file every month for silly things. That will tick off a judge, as will using the kids as pawns. They've seen it all.

In many (if not most) cases, it's the responsible thing to do - and remember, court orders protect all of you (and most importantly, the children).


Make sense?

 

[davew128]

Your choices are married joint or married separate.

*cough*HOH*cough*

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The tax filing choices:
Married, filing jointly
Married, filing separately
Head of household if the father has NOT been in the house for the past six months.

Only the parent who has the children the most can claim Earned Income Credit and Child and Dependent Care Credit.

The child tax credit and additional child tax credit runs with the parent who claims the child.

Court orders are your friend.

 

[I'mTheFather]

*cough*HOH*cough*

This made me smile.

Thanks Dave!

 

[LdiJ]

The tax filing choices:
Married, filing jointly
Married, filing separately
Head of household if the father has NOT been in the house for the past six months.

Only the parent who has the children the most can claim Earned Income Credit and Child and Dependent Care Credit.

The child tax credit and additional child tax credit runs with the parent who claims the child.

Court orders are your friend.

I concur with this advice. Much of the rest of the advice on this thread (other than dave's) was inaccurate.