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My question is: Are they legally required to do this, and if not, how should I go about arguing my case to them?
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You do not have a case, so save the argument.
The short version of the rest of the story**************
How each state defines what is considered a "presence" in the state, and therefore, a
legal obligation for a company to collect sales tax on sales into that state, is a bit different. If a company does not meet a state's "presence test," it is not
legally obligated to collect that state's sales tax. However, even if a company does meet the "presence test", it may choose to
voluntarily collect sales tax on sales into that state.
The simple fact is that the tax is owed to the state of Utah. If the company does not charge and collect the
sales tax, then
you owe the state of Utah a
use tax.
That other companies have not charged you sales tax is not relevant. You still owe the state of Utah use tax. That Utah is not trying to collect the use tax from you is merely a matter of it not being worth it for the state of Utah to track you down and collect.