What is considered a personal attck?

[normtowner]

Washington State

Hello, I recently took a three week leave of abscence to support my wife while she was dealing with the death of her mother and the ensuing issues with the estate. We had to travel from Seattle, WA to Toronto, ON Canada, as her mother resided in Toronto. My head office is located in the Toronto area as well. I was asked to visit the head office and sign an agreement that I would be taking these three weeks off wthout pay, as I am the Warehouse Manager in Washington. In the meeting, my immediate supervisor and the Vice President explained to me that this was a major let down on my part as I was not thinking about the company and the sacrifices they would have to make to ensure that people were flown out to supervise my staff. They showed little or no compassion for the fact that my Mother-in-Law recently passed away. I explained to them in turn that my wife needed me in Toronto with her to help deal with the estate and the will and that if I was within locale commuting range, that I would not be asking for the leave. But, as it stands, I live 2600 miles away. The vice president then commented that my wife was a big girl and that she had to grow up sometime. The question is would that be considered a direct personal attack on my wife and would there be any recourse available?
I am also up for review and my Supervisor informed me that the leave of abscence was the main reason that I am not receiving a raise this year. I have been with the company for 23 years and feel that this is an unjust reason. This is the first time that I have asked for a leave of abscence and felt justified in doing so as I was not willing to fly back and forth 2600 miles to accomodate both my wife and work. In this situation, I feel that my wife takes presidence.
I suppose I have a second question, which is, are they justified in using the leave of abscence as an excuse to deny me a pay raise after 23 years of loyal service?

[LeeHarveyBlotto]

While reprehensible, I see nothing illegal about their actions.

Absent an employment contract, only an increase in the minimum wage is a legally required reason for a pay raise.

Were it me, I'd be posting in the criminal section after turning the VP's face into something the consistency of pudding. You are to be congratulated for your restraint.

[ecmst12]

Since your reason for taking this leave does not qualify for FMLA, you would not be entitled to any of the protections that FMLA would provide. That means if they wanted to fire you for taking the leave, it would be legal. Of course they could have just fired you or denied you the raise without being incredibly unprofessional and rude, but it's not illegal to be unprofessional and rude.

Were it me, I'd be taking my 23 years of loyal service to a company that appreciated me more.

[normtowner]

Thank you LeeHarvey for your reply. I appreciate your sentiments. Who knows, I may be of need of that forum in the near future.

[normtowner]

And Thank You ecmst12 for your reply. I appreciate your words of wisdom. I am writing an email to the company explaining my frustrations and feelings on this matter, so that they are aware that I think they are being incensitive and rude about the situation and am wondering if I lead off the email with the words "Without Prejudice", does this mean that they cannot come back on me with it if there ever was a future judicial need? (I may not have spelled that right.)

[LeeHarveyBlotto]

Absent an employment contract, the doctrine of at will employment applies to you. They can fire you for expressing your opinion about this or any other subject, for not expressing your opinion, or for wearing a green shirt on Thursday.

[ecmst12]

The only time 'without prejudice' would mean ANYTHING is if it's said by a judge in court. And it doesn't mean what you think it does then, either.

I would suggest you skip the email for now and look for another job. When you find it and are ready to quit this job, then go ahead and send it, if it will make you feel better. But clearly they don't care that they are insensitive so I don't know what effect it will have on anything.

[xylene]

Rude yes. Wrong yes.

But 3 weeks is a long leave of absence and the bottom line is that you never really got permission anyway.

Unpaid does not mean you are not indispensable.

[ecmst12]

Common sense tells me, though, that this is not the way you should treat your 'indispensable' employees if you want them to keep working there.

[normtowner]

Once again, Thank You All for your responses. Although I wish that the answers were more in my favour, such is life and now I can continue in a new direction that will not make me stumble into a hole that I cannot dig myself out of.
Thanks again