Can I sue my brother?

[LDSR]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

First, I am not saying I want to sue, only inquiring if I could with an expectation of winning.

The situation (a mess, ack):

11 years ago I returned home to live with my eldery parents. My mother, is basically an invalid but not completely. Her health and mental capacity is good. She cannot walk, but can stand. This has been her situation for 16 years. She fell and had alot of bad broken bones.

My father provided care for her but passed away 4 years ago. I have been providing for her care since (4 years now). I provided care for my father for 7 years. My father just had a heart attack one morning as he was checking his blood sugar level for diabetes. He also suffered from Chronic Lung disease.

They were/are confined to the house. I did/do everything I can to make things as confortable as possible.

They have taken care of me. They put the house in my name, with a right to live thier for themselves (only my mother now). I also had them gift half the assets to me. This was done 5 years ago. My mother changed her will so that all her remaining assets would go to my brother. They had no desire to create a trust. They just didn't want to do it.

Being conservative my half of the assets got through this lastest financial fiaso very well, thank you very much. My mothers assets are in good shape also. Could have been better, could have been alot worse.

I have been doing this for basically 11 years. Its not bad, it could and probably one day will be alot worse. But its the same damn thing every day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Year after year. It wears on you.

I am tired and depressed and have been so for quite a while. Nonetheless I solder on. I have developed skin cancer, I am fairly young, not unusual, but being stressed, etc certainly has contributed to it.

My brother is a jerk and got really pissed that I got "my half" and he still has to wait. Of course he would never show that to my mother. But he does what he can to just irritate me and these days it doesnt take much, especially from him.

For example; he smeared my contact lense case with chicken grease, cause he is a jerk. I got really pissed, said what are you an idiot, etc, etc, etc. I told him if it wasn't for me our mother would be in an elder care home and she would be paying 12,000 (probably more now) a month for her care, which she could afford. Then we would end up getting nothing. Smarten up.

Now all I hear is I want to put my mother in a elder care home and he will get nothing. He is really good at manipulating my mother like that. Now this happened 4 years ago after my father died. Too this day I have to put up with this crap.

My brother, lives in CA, visits twice a year, calls twice a week to speak to my mother. He is unemployed, for about 9 years now. He does own an apartment building that he rents to college students. He receives a 10,000 a year gift from my mother to help with his expenses. He has indicated he is running his business at a loss. I have no idea what his true financial situation is.

Not once has my brother EVER spoken/written to me about helping me care for our parents. A long time ago when he called to speak to my mother, she would have me speak to him. He gave me his local weather report. Thats it.
I told my mother he is a jerk. She didn't like that. Now its he never speaks to me because I dont want to speak to him. I said if he wants to communicate with me to put it in writing. He won't, along with being a jerk he is a weasel.

Anyway, thier is alot more to this story, but back to original question.

One day I mentioned to my mother If I wanted the rest of her assets all I had to do was sue my brother for being a jerk and weasel and a court of law would give them to me. I could have swore years ago I saw a court case where one sibling provided the majority of the care and the will was contested. I cannot find that case now.

At this point in time I no longer trust my brother, due to a few other "situations" that have occurred. He has "accidents", he tries his best, etc. Its the ol ask someone to do something and they do a real crappy job so you will never ask them again.

I don't really want his assets. Just for him to stop being a jerk and do his fair share. I'm not even sure its possible for him to do his fair share now.

To finalize, could I sue my brother for being a jerk and weasel after my mother passes away?

Thanks for any advice on this.

Yes, its been a learning experience. I would never let myself get in this situation again without having really good contracts with lots of specifics.

All I can say is they were my parents, I trusted them.

[IsabellaSoriano]

i've got some good news, and i have some bad news.

yes, you can sue your brother. whether you would win or not, is a whole different matter.

and here the bad news. your brother getting his share when mom passes away, won't make him stop being a jerk. losing a lawsuit, will not make him stop being a jerk.

you cannot control someone from being a jerk. plain and simple.

and just a bit of non legal advice, don't tell mom you think your brother is being a jerk. she doesn't need that in her last years. keep those comments to yourself.

[LDSR]

Thanks for the response.

You did answer my question, though I obviously phrased it poorly, lawyers types, go figure.

What I really meant to ask was is it possible to sue my brother for not sharing equally in my parents care. Is thier much precedent for this? Or is it life isn't fair and you are basically screwed STFU.

You are correct, my mother does not need hear crap like my brother is a jerk.

Just as much as I don't need to have my brother acting like a jerk.

Final years, nope, she is good to go for another 10. When I take on a responsibility I take it serioius.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by LDSR

Thanks for the response.

You did answer my question, though I obviously phrased it poorly, lawyers types, go figure.

What I really meant to ask was is it possible to sue my brother for not sharing equally in my parents care. Is thier much precedent for this? Or is it life isn't fair and you are basically screwed STFU.

You are correct, my mother does not need hear crap like my brother is a jerk.

Just as much as I don't need to have my brother acting like a jerk.

Final years, nope, she is good to go for another 10. When I take on a responsibility I take it serioius.

your brother is not legally responsible for your mother. at all. ever. if mom did not have you to care for her, he still wouldn't legally be responsible for her.

you are not legally responsible for caring for your mother. that's a moral issue. however, if you are considered her legal guardian and/or executor, then it might be a whole other issue.

but no, you would not win suing your brother for not taking on a responsibilty doesn't legally have.

[Dandy Don]

He has a reason to be somewhat upset, although he has not thought the situation all the way through. His mother has no reason to give him any part of his inheritance now if she is supporting him with $10,000 annually. The problem is that since he does not know the total value of her estate or how her assets are distributed, he has no way of knowing for sure whether his inheritance is going to be spent down by her medical care or not. IF your mother has kept his inheritance in an account separate from her other accounts, then he has no reason to be afraid.

You have no legal basis to sue him for anything. If your mother can afford $12,000 to pay for her care in an assisted living center, then it should be obvious that she could also afford to pay for a bonded (and possibly even Christian) professional health care giver to assist her with her daily needs to that you could be relieved of that responsibility.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA (tiekh@yahoo.com)