1-3-2002
DEAR NSHAW:
My sympathies for your having to deal with a somewhat difficult situation in a time of grief.
Please explain--what state did your father-in-law die in, since it is that state's probate law that will appy to the administration of his estate. Also complicating matters is the fact that you don't know if his attorney (if he had one) reviewed the language of the will written in New Jersey to see how it stacks up with Georgia probate law (if in fact the father-in-law did die in Georgia).
I guess it could be true that this brother-in-law spent all of the father-in-law's money (you should discuss with your own attorney whether it would be worth your while to find out, by examining the bank account records, whether he spent it on himself or whether some of it was spent on the father-in-law's needs/care). But don't let that stop you from trying to find out if your father-in-law had other assets in the estate that might be valuable and would still need to be probated. As legal heir, you would be entitled to your share of anything remaining in the estate after debts (funeral expenses, taxes, and creditors) are paid.
Just him saying that he will handle whatever paperwork is needed is not completely sufficient (I get the impression he doesn't want to be honest in disclosing the value of the estate). You need to ask him specifically when he plans to file the will at the probate court of the county courthouse and to please provide you with a copy (if you don't have one already). If the will has already been filed, then your husband (as co-executor) should have received letters testamentary (official papers from the court authorizing him to be co-executor) from the court by now, if the papers were filed correctly by the other co-executor. You need to check with the county courthouse of the city/state where the death occurred to find out if the will has been filed yet (it is normally required to be filed within 30 days after the decedent's death).
It may be too soon for you to request a financial accounting of the probated will (your message is unclear since you don't mention exactly when the date of death occurred). If the estate is now open, that could take a few weeks or a month,, depending on the complexity or simplicity of the estate. Yes, he will have to provide an accounting.
Do you have any indication whether any other assets would be available? Was the father-in-law employed at the time of his death or not? Life Insurance? Pension? Stocks, Bonds, CD's?
Was his home paid for or is there still a mortgage on it?
You need to ask a local lawyer about whether or not your husband would be liable as co-executor. Usually, that is not much of a concern, since if your state requires that an executors bond be posted, the bonding insurance company would be responsible for paying any losses due to negligence by the executor.
The difficulty in your situation is that as co-executor, your husband needs to find out whether his signature or approval or advice is needed on handling every estate matter, or whether he would just be looking over the shoulder of the other executor to review what he has done or is doing or simply review the entire probate/estate file after the other executor has finished. It is difficult if not impossible for an out-of-state resident (as your husband is) to be available in the state where the death occurred to review every transaction done under the probate process, which is why it would have been much wiser for one executor to have been named.
