Conditional will

[mevlna]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I am not married but have been living together with my significant other for a long time. We are not too keen on marriage idea, having been through one, each, with not to stellar experiences.

We are both middle aged. Other than a house with hefty mortgage (but some equity in it too) we do not have any big property that we own together. I am assuming, in case of my untimely death ahead of her, unless I have a will, she will have to deal with probate and all that nasty stuff. And to make the things more complicated, I am originally from across the big pond (naturalized US citizen for a while now) and I have some distant relatives, who never keep in touch but I know they keep a tab on me, will come down like wild beasts to claim their share on my share of the property I am going to leave behind. First and foremost, I'd like to prevent that.

Second but no less importance is, not to leave anything that I, personally own, to the ungrateful daughter of my SO. She might disagree with me on this but life is though.

Now my question is, Can I, myself, write a will, without the help of any attorney or alike, on a piece of paper, stating:

I am leaving everything I own to my significant other (referred by name of course), to be used as long as she is alive and upon her demise, I would like these assets (list of assets will be provided) to be liquidated and proceeds to be donated to this one single charity (to be named as well).

and have this writing be signed by two people who are not related to me.

Would this make a legal will and be honored after I die ?

What I want to do is to leave the full use of the house (as long as she can afford the mortgage with her income and my life insurance proceeds she is the beneficiary of) to her. I do not want her to be forced the sale of the property. But when she passes away as well, I do not want my share of the house (which is half of it) not to go to that ungrateful twwit of a daughter she has. If she wants to leave her share, that is fine by me but I do not want that to happen to my share.

Is it too complicated for a simple person to handle on his own, without legal help ?

 

[Zigner]

There is no law against writing your own will, but with the difficulties you foresee, I would recommend that you get some assistance with it. It really should only cost a few hundred dollars, but your piece of mind will be enormous.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I am not married but have been living together with my significant other for a long time. We are not too keen on marriage idea, having been through one, each, with not to stellar experiences.

We are both middle aged. Other than a house with hefty mortgage (but some equity in it too) we do not have any big property that we own together. I am assuming, in case of my untimely death ahead of her, unless I have a will, she will have to deal with probate and all that nasty stuff. And to make the things more complicated, I am originally from across the big pond (naturalized US citizen for a while now) and I have some distant relatives, who never keep in touch but I know they keep a tab on me, will come down like wild beasts to claim their share on my share of the property I am going to leave behind. First and foremost, I'd like to prevent that.

Second but no less importance is, not to leave anything that I, personally own, to the ungrateful daughter of my SO. She might disagree with me on this but life is though.

Now my question is, Can I, myself, write a will, without the help of any attorney or alike, on a piece of paper, stating:



and have this writing be signed by two people who are not related to me.

Would this make a legal will and be honored after I die ?

What I want to do is to leave the full use of the house (as long as she can afford the mortgage with her income and my life insurance proceeds she is the beneficiary of) to her. I do not want her to be forced the sale of the property. But when she passes away as well, I do not want my share of the house (which is half of it) not to go to that ungrateful twwit of a daughter she has. If she wants to leave her share, that is fine by me but I do not want that to happen to my share.

Is it too complicated for a simple person to handle on his own, without legal help ?

To whom or what do you intend your share?

I find it amusing when people try to control other people from beyond the grave.

 

[mevlna]

I do not want to control anyone. I just want my hard earned money to do some good and be spent helping a cause I hold near and dear to my heart, instead of going to an ungrateful person, who will go through the money as if it is going out of fashion, in addition to already causing my significant other a lot of grief in my opinion. And yes it is my "Opinion" as much as it is my money that I worked hard for, even before I met my SO. Reducing it to "controlling others beyond grave" and being amused by it is a very low blow, even with this board's standards.

 

[adjusterjack]

Is it too complicated for a simple person to handle on his own, without legal help ?

Yes, it is.

I can't blame you for wanting to limit who gets your estate and how.

Trouble is, a will isn't likely to accomplish what you want because once ownership of your assets transfer to your heir, she can completely ignore your limitations and do whatever she wants with them.

You would be better off with a trust. You can transfer all your assets into the trust, control them while you are alive and have a third party trustee administer the assets in whatever manner you desire. An institutional trustee like a bank, attorney firm, or trust company would be preferable since you are looking at long term control, likely spanning many years. Yes, it will cost you a barrel full of money to set up something like that and keep it going indefinitely after your death but if that's what you want to do, that's what you have to pay.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, it is.

I can't blame you for wanting to limit who gets your estate and how.

Trouble is, a will isn't likely to accomplish what you want because once ownership of your assets transfer to your heir, she can completely ignore your limitations and do whatever she wants with them.

You would be better off with a trust. You can transfer all your assets into the trust, control them while you are alive and have a third party trustee administer the assets in whatever manner you desire. An institutional trustee like a bank, attorney firm, or trust company would be preferable since you are looking at long term control, likely spanning many years. Yes, it will cost you a barrel full of money to set up something like that and keep it going indefinitely after your death but if that's what you want to do, that's what you have to pay.

I agree. He might be able to give her a life estate in some of his assets, but there is no method to give her total control over all assets, and still control what happens to them after she passes away, other than a trust.

Also, depending on how the house is deeded now, its possible that the house would be totally her property after he passes away anyway. If right of survivorship is included in the deed then she would own the house entirely when he passes away. If the deed does not include right of survivorship then her daughter will inherit her share of the house if she passes away first.

 

[Silverplum]

I stand by what I wrote, despite your sadness. You can't argue that you aren't trying to control your single asset long after you're pushing up daisies.

The real issue is, how do expect this to reasonably play out? Ladyfriend pays down/off the large debt on the single asset for which you once were partly responsible. Ladyfriend has now put more $$ into the asset than you ever paid. And you, Deadguy, want to control half of the asset.