E
Elisa
Guest
Illinois
Family: Parents divorced after all graduated high school and separated as follows:
Dad & youngest brother having a strong relationship in which the sibling could do no wrong
Mom & sister having a strong relationship in which the sibling could do no wrong
this left 3 brothers without much of a “family”…especially since I'm still in IL, one in MI, the other in FL.
Two years ago my father decided to make amends and began contact, our long lost relationship was slowly reborn!
Last April my father had a stroke & congestive heart failure…luckily I was visiting him that day and was able to contact the Hospital in time to save his life. I immediately notified all my family members and my youngest brother immediately questioned the Dr’s. as to my father’s competency and proceeded to remove all the financial records between the two of them and downloaded everything from my father’s computer. My father progressed to a full recovery only to find that my brother had stolen not only these records, but being Executor of the estate and Power of Attorney, he emptied safety deposit boxes, checking accounts, etc. My father was shocked that he would do such a thing, he made him what he is! My father immediately revoked the executor/power of attorney status and disowned him.
Longer story short...my wife and I have been taking care of my father since then...in Sept. he went to FL for the winter (staying with my other brother and my mother) and was due back home this coming week...unfortunately he passed away on March 4th. Since then, my mother and brother have been acting very suspicious and saying conflicting things. When they notified us of my father's passing they had already decided to cremate him and insisted that no one be notified for 2 weeks (including my siblings, yet they did notify my sister). We opposed the cremation and insisted a funeral be held here as this was our family's "home" and we had promised my father a proper funeral...they insisted it was his "last wish"...we were skeptical, but decided it was best to keep peace.
As things progressed this week, things got more confusing, so I notified my brother in MI (against their wishes)...he too, disagreed with the cremation and we were able to stop it.
My wife and I spent all day today making proper funeral arrangements here and put up the title to our truck to the bank to pay for the funeral.
Also, my father had asked me if I wanted to be the Executor when he revoked the power from my younger brother, I declined over the fear of my younger brother’s wealth, contacts, etc. and the fact that he had threatened me when my father disowned him. (I have always tried to keep the peace…I didn’t want to face a messy “fight” when my father passed.) So he asked me if I felt my brother in FL would be appropriate, and at that time, I honestly thought he would…now I realize he is merely the puppet and my mother, though I love her dearly, seems to be the bitter (ex-wife) puppeteer who wants whatever she can get for herself and my sister (who treats my mother shamefully and had no relationship with my father--in fact, she often asked if he was dead yet!, yet my mother continues to put her on a pedastal.)
My father changed his will to a very simple one and put all the assets into a Trust, the Trust has always listed my father as first trustee, and the Executor as second trustee. (ie, my brother’s name is now listed as the Executor and Trustee…with my name as the backup Executor). Although I have seen the older versions of the will and trust, I know my father made some final changes before he went to FL. so I went to the courthouse and obtained the current will, (which doesn't say much everything is in the trust) and I am unsure of what the current Trust contains.
1) Am I truly justified in my suspicion over this matter?
2) Should I let this matter continue and hope for the best?
3) Should I “make waves” and try to get my brother removed as Executor? (I am listed as the 2nd Executor)
4) If so, how do I start that process?
5) What effect will this have on the Trust?
6) I am quite confused on the Executor vs. Trustee aspect, as I understand it, even if I became the Executor…that would still leave my brother as the Trustee(?)
…so, what difference would having him removed make?
7) Do I presently have a right to a copy of the new Trust?
I am not particularly interested in the inheritance itself, my family is a perfect example of how money can tear apart relationships, but I am extremely concerned that the powers are being misused, that my mother is influencing my brother to the extent that things will not be as my father intended and I feel that they have acted disrespectful not only towards my father, but towards the rest of the family too.
Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
Thank You for your time!
Family: Parents divorced after all graduated high school and separated as follows:
Dad & youngest brother having a strong relationship in which the sibling could do no wrong
Mom & sister having a strong relationship in which the sibling could do no wrong
this left 3 brothers without much of a “family”…especially since I'm still in IL, one in MI, the other in FL.
Two years ago my father decided to make amends and began contact, our long lost relationship was slowly reborn!
Last April my father had a stroke & congestive heart failure…luckily I was visiting him that day and was able to contact the Hospital in time to save his life. I immediately notified all my family members and my youngest brother immediately questioned the Dr’s. as to my father’s competency and proceeded to remove all the financial records between the two of them and downloaded everything from my father’s computer. My father progressed to a full recovery only to find that my brother had stolen not only these records, but being Executor of the estate and Power of Attorney, he emptied safety deposit boxes, checking accounts, etc. My father was shocked that he would do such a thing, he made him what he is! My father immediately revoked the executor/power of attorney status and disowned him.
Longer story short...my wife and I have been taking care of my father since then...in Sept. he went to FL for the winter (staying with my other brother and my mother) and was due back home this coming week...unfortunately he passed away on March 4th. Since then, my mother and brother have been acting very suspicious and saying conflicting things. When they notified us of my father's passing they had already decided to cremate him and insisted that no one be notified for 2 weeks (including my siblings, yet they did notify my sister). We opposed the cremation and insisted a funeral be held here as this was our family's "home" and we had promised my father a proper funeral...they insisted it was his "last wish"...we were skeptical, but decided it was best to keep peace.
As things progressed this week, things got more confusing, so I notified my brother in MI (against their wishes)...he too, disagreed with the cremation and we were able to stop it.
My wife and I spent all day today making proper funeral arrangements here and put up the title to our truck to the bank to pay for the funeral.
Also, my father had asked me if I wanted to be the Executor when he revoked the power from my younger brother, I declined over the fear of my younger brother’s wealth, contacts, etc. and the fact that he had threatened me when my father disowned him. (I have always tried to keep the peace…I didn’t want to face a messy “fight” when my father passed.) So he asked me if I felt my brother in FL would be appropriate, and at that time, I honestly thought he would…now I realize he is merely the puppet and my mother, though I love her dearly, seems to be the bitter (ex-wife) puppeteer who wants whatever she can get for herself and my sister (who treats my mother shamefully and had no relationship with my father--in fact, she often asked if he was dead yet!, yet my mother continues to put her on a pedastal.)
My father changed his will to a very simple one and put all the assets into a Trust, the Trust has always listed my father as first trustee, and the Executor as second trustee. (ie, my brother’s name is now listed as the Executor and Trustee…with my name as the backup Executor). Although I have seen the older versions of the will and trust, I know my father made some final changes before he went to FL. so I went to the courthouse and obtained the current will, (which doesn't say much everything is in the trust) and I am unsure of what the current Trust contains.
1) Am I truly justified in my suspicion over this matter?
2) Should I let this matter continue and hope for the best?
3) Should I “make waves” and try to get my brother removed as Executor? (I am listed as the 2nd Executor)
4) If so, how do I start that process?
5) What effect will this have on the Trust?
6) I am quite confused on the Executor vs. Trustee aspect, as I understand it, even if I became the Executor…that would still leave my brother as the Trustee(?)
…so, what difference would having him removed make?
7) Do I presently have a right to a copy of the new Trust?
I am not particularly interested in the inheritance itself, my family is a perfect example of how money can tear apart relationships, but I am extremely concerned that the powers are being misused, that my mother is influencing my brother to the extent that things will not be as my father intended and I feel that they have acted disrespectful not only towards my father, but towards the rest of the family too.
Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
Thank You for your time!