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A

arman

Guest
I was recently informed by my brother that my father is terminally ill and has disinherited me. My father and I had a falling out during my medical school training. Prior to this he was providing significant help with my tuition and living expenses, he abruptly withdrew his support after my first six months of school and has refused contact with me for over 12 years. I now have substantial indebtedness due to years of interest. Is there any legal means to obtain the monies he had promised me? Must it be done before he dies as I see that I have little hope contesting his will (he is also an attorney). Thank you for any help you can provide!
 


ALawyer

Senior Member
If you had gone to law school, you would know that mere promises are NOT enforceable. And even if there was more than a promise, most statutes of limitation would have run in the past 12 years. And he clearly can disinherit a child, and you are not entitled to anything if he has a properly prepared Will doing so.

BUT may I ask you something doctor? The guy is still YOUR FATHER. He is dying. You had a realtionship until the falling out.

What kind of human being are you? -- What kind of daughter or son? -- What horrible thing did he do to make you not want to try to have a rapproachment, if not make amends at a time like this? This is not a question of your saying you are sorry or his saying he is sorry. This is a matter of letting bygones be bygonesand saying goodbye.

I have seen far too many people destroy themselves and their families over relatively petty things. And I have seen some people wise enough to put things in perspective and take advantage of the chance you have now to set things right.

Think too of the imact your actions will have on your relationship with other family members long term, and on your own family. This is NOT about money. This is about life, and it seems you may have missed those classes in medical school. (They didn't teach them in law school either, but I learned them the hard way.)

This is your last chance. Don't blow it. And may I also urge you to consult with a fellow MD -- a psychiatrist -- to help you sort this out now. My guess is that you have a great deal of residual anger within you based on your focus on the money. Money is no substitute for the relationship you lack. I assure you that the small psychiatrist bill now will save you and others in your family much larger ones later and the saving will far exceed the interest on the loans.
 
A

advisor10

Guest
11-27-2001

(1) What exactly did he promise you?

(2) How much is your indebtedness?

(3) What was the nature of your falling out--what issues was it about?

(4) Did anyone else hear or witness your father's promise for your support?

There may not be much chance of you being able to collect on this, but if the will has improper language or is worded incorrectly, you might be able to have another attorney examine it to see if it is legally vulnerable for a ruling to be made in your favor.
 
A

arman

Guest
In response to ALawyer;
Thank you for your comments. Actually it is a pretty bad situation, I have tried to contact my father but he ignores me. You would imagine something terrible had occured but in fact we had a falling out because he felt I didn't "love him enough" (He is probably mentally ill). I told him that I wanted a father son relationship based on caring not money and subsequently never heard from him again. We do not have a choice in parents and without going into further detail, my father is a disturbed man.

In response to advisor:

1. He promised to "help pay for my expenses for tuition and room and board" it was no more specific.

2. I originally borrowed 120,000. With years of interest (during multiple residencies) it is now about 300,000.

3. See above

4. My mother, aunt and brother all witnessed his "promise"

Thank you again.
 

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