Elderly father leaving half of assets to drug-abusing young woman (help!!)

[laytonak12]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

Sorry, I just posted this under the elder law section too- I wasn't exactly sure which category would be the best fit.

I am just about at my wits end over this situation- Sorry if this is wordy but I want to get my whole story out just so all the details are known (in case they're important) First off, my mother/father were married for 14 years- she was his last wife and when she divorced him she didn't go after alimony, child support or anything. This is after 14 years of putting up with my dead beat alcoholic father w/ her working to pay the taxes on his land. The only thing she asked was that he made sure to leave everything to me (his last child/the only one she had with him) He agreed to do so because the rest of his kids have nothing to do with him/he gave them all land/money when they graduated from school- so I was raised believing that I would eventually inherit our family's property. When she left him he had 300+ acres, including a stone quarry/mobile home park. Now, 15 years later he has little over 12 acres left (the mobile home park) and has a steady flow of money coming in off the property he sold. The problem is that has been making awful choices left/right. He has been "involved" with this younger woman for the past several years. My father is 80, she is younger than me (26), is a drug abuser (even got caught in NYC w/ cocaine) and has been bleeding him dry. My father is pretty much supporting her as long as she'll have physical relations with him. He has bought her numerous cars- which she has repeatedly wrecked, he paid ALL her legal fees for the cocaine issues, and pays her rent on top of giving her spending money. She even had a boyfriend when they first started this arrangement that she went on to marry/have a child with, all the while sleeping with my dad for money. At one point he was so far in debt he couldn't afford to pay for her/when that happened she didn't want anything to do with him. Now, to make matters even more interesting he has also started up a similar arrangement with that girl's MOM. Gross, right? My dad has always been a little bit crazy, but I think now that he's 80 he's especially vulnerable to being manipulated. The mother is a drunk/is now serving a year long jail term for a dui, after totalling the brand new car my dad bought her. So pretty much all of my dad's money is going towards these two women who are just bleeding him dry. It's really distressing to me as that money was made off the selling of the mountain where I grew up/that was promised to me. I also just found out that he went and had a new will written up and is planning to leave half of everything he has to the younger of the two women. I would be completely fine with sharing if my dad had met a respectable woman/married her, but this is a complete gold-digger/pretty much the lowest of the low. The thought of losing the place I've called home to that woman makes me sick. That woman would cash out/blow it all on drugs/a new car. I know it. So now I just don't know what to do. My dad is still fiercely independent and I know it would be really hard to declare him incompentent/ I know that if I tried and lost he would probably completely disinherit me. The only other thing I can think of is undue influence, but I don't know if it would be better to do that now or contest it after the will is revealed- I definitely don't want to act when it's too late. I could really really use some advice here.
What should I do????

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Sounds like a LTR to me. Many guys would gladly spend a few dollars more to have a young play toy. Some would be into the mom n me thing also. Just because dad is into alternative lifestyles, he is spending HIS money. It isn't yours until he dies. Maybe if you had gone to college you would have gotten more before being of sound mind he spent it. When my dad died, I was in a similar situation except we had to care for him the last year or so of his life because his 38 yr old GF was a Mexican citizen and could not get a visa to come here and take care of him. I made sure his last wish, that she get the proceeds of his life insurance was carried out. You should respect your fathers wishes also.

 

[las365]

You offer no evidence that your father is mentally incompetent, only that you disaprove of his choice of lady friends. You even say you wuldn't mind if he left money to a woman of whom you approved.

The fact is, you don't get to choose, and he has no legal obligation at all to leave anything to you when he dies. His money and property are his to spend, give away, and leave to whomever he chooses. Your mother's poor choice to forego child support was her responsibility. I don't think that any promise he made to her to leave everything to you upon his death is enforceable even if it is in writing, which I am guessing it is not.

Your best option, in my opinion, is to try to have the best relationship you can with your father despite your understandable unhappiness with his choice of companions. Make your own way without relying on achieving any financial gain when he dies. It would be a shame for you to ruin whatever relationship you have with him over what is easily perceived as greed by trying to make a legal move that you don't appear to have a valid basis to pursue.

 

[FlyingRon]

It isn't yours until he dies.

It's not necessarily his even then. Parents are under no obligation to provide any inheritance to their adult children.