Executer of Estate with under aged siblings

[AleashaRae]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IOWA

My dad is in really bad shape these days, cirrhosis of the liver, and we arent sure how much longer he really has left. He keeps saying he's going to get a will done but thus far hasnt done it or taken advantage of any of the prompts family has given him or offers to help him with it. Im afraid he might die before he gets one. He has verbally told me what he wants each of the four of us kids to have (he isnt married) and has said that he'd like to make me power of attorney. The only problem is that of my 3 younger siblings, one is 19 and mentally disabled, resides in staffed group living and has no ability to make his own financial decisions. He is also under the states guardianship currently. The other 2 are 16 and 17 years old.

If he were to die without a will who would be executer of estate? My main concern is that he has a 401k and a retirement account which is worth what i'd call a large sum of money. I of course would split the money 4 ways but im not sure how that would work #1 with my disabled sibling being under state gurdianship and #2 with my underages siblings. The 2 of them are terrible kids, steal his vehicles, never have had jobs, drink, smoke pot, run around at all hours of the night, break curfew, ignore his phone calls and dont come home for days at a time, fail classes and throw parties on our farm when no ones there. They have not grown up with the dad that i did, because of how sick he's gotten due to the fall out of his divorce with their mother. I know they deserve equal parts of the money as they are his children too...but can you put it into a trust or something until they're like 25? I would hate to see them blow hundreds of thousands of dollars on drugs, partying and laziness because neither of them want to work if they were to get it at say age 18.

If possible, i want them to have to live on their own and learn to be reliable and responsible before they get that kind of money and end up throwing it all away and regreting it later-or worse, getting into even bigger trouble with buying the wrong things, like drugs and booze.

 

[xylene]

My dad is in really bad shape these days, cirrhosis of the liver, and we arent sure how much longer he really has left. He keeps saying he's going to get a will done but thus far hasnt done it or taken advantage of any of the prompts family has given him or offers to help him with it.

You really need to go with dad to an estate planner and get this done.

Don't be coy, you are Dad's adult child and he wants you to manage his estate.

That ain't magically arrived at.

Look out for your minor disabled siblings and approach him and say (something like this you know your father) "Dad, I got to be real here. You want things from me after you pass, and they WON'T happen unless we talk to someone and get your estate set up. That's the law. We need to do this immediately."

 

[tranquility]

Dad needs a will. It will make things easier. A trust could work, but there does not seem a lot of trust assets. The retirement and 401(k) will probably have a beneficiary(s) so won't go through probate.

From the questions, I assume the OP is smart and could handle a simple estate. This is not going to be a simple estate for a number of reasons. It would probably be better to think of having an appointed executor or get an attorney immediately if contemplating becoming one.

Even though dad is sick, without pre-planning, he is gong to cause huge problems in the transfer of his estate. He needs to get to an attorney.

 

[AleashaRae]

making a phone call

I'll be calling him tonight to make an appointment with his law office for next week and taking off work to go with him. Ive never had to deal with anything estate related so while i think i get the jist of it i still am not completely sure, and that leaves an uneasy feeling in my gut.

Do you know anything about assets that are held with another party? Over the years after my grandfather died, my dad and my grandmother continued buying farm machinary and splitting the cost. My dad used to work for them for free, because my grandfather was disabled (r. arthritis) and could no longer do the farm work but that was their income so my dad did everything for free. Now days, he and my grandmother split 1/2 the proceedes yearly after harvest and split bills (feed/fertilizer,etc.) equally. He does all the work but she owns all the property and machinary-besides 1/2 of any equipment they've bought since '91.

He has said he would like to leave the house to my disabled brother and i, the 2 of his trucks to the youngest 2 boys and his "half" of the farm equipment to the youngest 2 as well. Will my grandma have to buy them out? They have no interest in anything farm related or helping them ever with stuff. Im concerned about how that would effect her income once he's gone.

Regarding the retirement...he has said its roughly 500k....up and down with the 401k of course but i guess i thought that would be considered an asset. Is it similar to life insurance where the named beneficiary(s) just get what they get?

 

[xylene]

I'll be calling him tonight to make an appointment with his law office for next week and taking off work to go with him. Ive never had to deal with anything estate related so while i think i get the jist of it i still am not completely sure, and that leaves an uneasy feeling in my gut.

Do you know anything about assets that are held with another party? Over the years after my grandfather died, my dad and my grandmother continued buying farm machinary and splitting the cost. My dad used to work for them for free, because my grandfather was disabled (r. arthritis) and could no longer do the farm work but that was their income so my dad did everything for free. Now days, he and my grandmother split 1/2 the proceedes yearly after harvest and split bills (feed/fertilizer,etc.) equally. He does all the work but she owns all the property and machinary-besides 1/2 of any equipment they've bought since '91.

He has said he would like to leave the house to my disabled brother and i, the 2 of his trucks to the youngest 2 boys and his "half" of the farm equipment to the youngest 2 as well. Will my grandma have to buy them out? They have no interest in anything farm related or helping them ever with stuff. Im concerned about how that would effect her income once he's gone.

Regarding the retirement...he has said its roughly 500k....up and down with the 401k of course but i guess i thought that would be considered an asset. Is it similar to life insurance where the named beneficiary(s) just get what they get?

You really don't need to figure that out.

In fact for such a substantial estate it should be left to a professional.

When you bring it up, ask dad if he has a lawyer he would like to talk to, and have a few names on hand if he doesn't.

It really isn't a diy project, especially since one of the beneficiaries will need lifetime care.

 

[curb1]

You need to find out who the beneficiaries are on the "401k and a retirement account". The way this sounds I wouldn't be surprised if the ex-wife is the beneficiary.

 

[AleashaRae]

Ive been afraid of that. He was in a motorcycle accident during their seperation and we were terrified shed end up w/ everything. She has since remarried but i doubt that matters. As next of kin i was given POA but handed oved to my grandmother because i was 19 and we didnt think he was going to live then, i was unsure i could make that plug pull decision if it had come to that.

Since then i know her name has been taken off the house deed but w/ my gma having POA (not just health care) she may or may not have done that w/ retirement.

 

[curb1]

Is father mentally capable at this time to make a will? He would need to be the one to change the beneficiaries on the retirement plans. That should be a first priority that can be found out/accomplished without an attorney..... like tomorrow morning!!!!

 

[TrustUser]

hi aleasha,

sure a trust can be made with whatever language is necessary. and it can be kept there such that the assets are never distributed to the irresponsible kids. they could simply be given the income each year that those assets derive.

all depends on what your dad wants.

you might want to look into making the beneficiary of the 401k and retirement plans the trust (after it is created and a legal entity, of course).