executor question

[nawtynotions]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
I live in Texas

Here is my question. My mother passed away in Feb 08. She was and had been terminally ill with cancer and on dialysis for some time. My brother and myself were the executors of her simple will. There was no property to divide, and no money to be inherited, just her personal effects. Three days before I was scheduled to leave Iowa to come back to my homestate of Texas, they told us that my mom had at least 6 months to live yet. I needed to come back to Texas as my husband was having surgery and I was sick. I had been in Iowa with my mom for over a month by then. I left Iowa and came back home for his surgery etc and was going to go back with my mom but she passed away 2 days after I left and I could not make it back in time. My brother and my daughter who also lives in Iowa made the funeral arrangements etc and all my moms kids paid their share on her funeral costs. The problem is this, my brother is angry because I was not there when my mom passed away so now he is withholding her ashes from us so we cannot bury her properly. He is so angry at me for not being there that he told me I was not even welcome to come to her graveside services nor view her ashes. Before I left I transferrred my mothers bank account into my brothers name so he could handle her money. Does he have the right to not allow me to attend her funeral or the right not to bury her ashes in the plot she bought for this purpose? I have the cemetary deed for her lots, her headstone is in place and all my family knew her wishes to be buried there. She gave me the cemetary deed for her lots many years ago when she bought them. In fact we purchased hers and mine at the same time. We were supposed to be buried next to one another. I want to know if or how I can make him bury her like she asked me to do. There are 4 of us kids, and he is not permitting me and my one sister anything, including to burying her. Him and my other sister have taken control over that and told us we were not welcome there. So now there sits an empty plot with a brand new headstone on it and he is keeping my moms ashes because of his anger.

 

[seniorjudge]

Who paid for the ashes?

 

[nawtynotions]

My mom had 4 children, 3 of us paid on the ashes. One of her daughters did not pay nothing and this is the daughter that is going along with him in deciding that me and my other sister cannot attend her services. I paid my part in full and have all my cancelled checks. I am on social security disability so I cannot afford to retain an attorney unless I save for it but I want to know my options and if i even have a case. Thank you so much for replying and trying to help me. I appreciate any advice you can give me as I am just heartbroken over the fact that he is doing this to me.
Renee aka Nawtynotions

 

[nawtynotions]

Seniorjudge

Have any suggestions for me?

 

[Dandy Don]

Did you even get the chance to explain to him the reason that you were unable to attend the funeral? Even if you tell him that he is going to still be angry because he is not thinking reasonably. All you can do is wait for the anger to settle down before you proceed, however long it takes.

 

[nawtynotions]

He knew the reasons why I had to leave, and he severed our relationship anyway. He will not get over this. He is 44 yrs old and set in his ways. He has also severed his relationship with my children , my husband everyone of us. I need to lay this to rest, not wait for him not to be angry anymore. My mom was perfectly okay with my leaving when I had to, so I feel that he is unjust in keeping me from something like this. As long as I had her approval, I felt that was all I needed, as long as she was okay with it and understood. He will not accept that. I have even asked him where he thought this was even his business.
This is why I am asking if I can do anything legally to get him to bury her so all my family will have the closure that we need. It was bad enough having to miss the funeral then to be told that you cannot attend the burial ceremony as well. We had her cremated right after death, and he picked up the ashes, and then we all paid our share of the funeral costs, my own children even pitched in several hundred dollars to help out. My entire family planned on going back to Iowa to all get together this summer to have a graveside service for her. My daughters have very little free time as they both work 2 jobs so it is hard to work around schedules that is why we all as a family planned the burial for this summer. He waited until all my share of the funeral costs were paid then he severed his ties with me. I was the first one to pay my share in full. The others are still making monthly payments, including my brother. The funeral home worked with us on paying it as mom had no life insurance.

Thanks for your post I appreciate it much.