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Is it the Executor's Responsibility...Or Mine?

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MPaws

Junior Member
Hello,

I hope someone can answer this question.

My sister was named the co-executor of my mother's revocable living trust in California. I live in Oregon.

My question is...Am I required as a beneficiary to physically collect the assets left to me (600 miles away) as she is requiring? Or is it the executors responsibility to deliver (ship) the items to the beneficiaries. (It would be SO much easier).

Details:

My sister has completed everything according to the Trust. The only thing left is the distribution of assets to the beneficiaries. She says she's too tired to deal with anything else and she's done.

The problem is, she is forcing me (and my brother) to drive 600 miles to California (We're in Oregon) to pick up each of our inherited items, even our checks.

She won't ship my stuff to me, and also won't electronically deposit my portion into my account, nor my brothers. She says she must have the checks endorsed, is that true?

I asked her to send the check certified mail but she thinks it will get lost in the mail and won't do it.

She says she won't ship my stuff (the box) because of the breakables and other junk I don't care about that's in it.

So she's forcing me to drive all that way, rent an auto, hotel, gas, etc. about a $500.00 trip and do it in 1 weekend, a 24 hour drive round trip, I can't take time off from work. It wouldn't cost more than $50.00 to ship everything.

There's nothing stated in the Trust about this and she didn't leave a Will (instructions).

Can she do that as an executor, or am I required as a beneficiary to collect everything in person

Thanks in advance for any info.

(Needless to say I'm very disgruntled)
 


garrula lingua

Senior Member
Consider what your sister went through, in distributing the trust. Put yourself in her shoes.
Now, you want her to drag those boxes to a Fedex, and pay to ship them to you ...

You should appreciate all the work she went through - one visit to Ca to pick up all the assets due you, isn't all that hard.

Don't you think this process of going through your Mom's 'junk' was hard on your sister ?
 

MPaws

Junior Member
Thank you for your replies,

I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. Yes, I'm sure it was very hard on her and I'm so glad she did a good job, I supported her on the phone much of the time when she was going through her belongings and have thanked her a thousand times.

It's been very hard on everybody.

I just don't know why I must drive 600 miles to pick up a check when it can easily be mailed certified, or why she says it must be endorsed rather than electronically submitted, that doesn't make sense to me. My brother doesn't understand this either.

There won't be just one trip, there will be several checks over time as the estate settles. Going back and forth to California doesn't seem reasonable to me. I also told her of course I would pay for all the shipping, and her time and effort and to take it out of my share.

Thanks again :)
 
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OHRoadwarrior

Senior Member
It may be something as simple as her feeling put out by the responsibility she was entrusted with and that she wants to see you put forth some effort to receive your bequest also.
 

MPaws

Junior Member
That could very well be.

I did offer to go out there and clean out the house for her to prepare it for sale, to ease her stress, but she insisted on doing it all herself.

One big reason I'm trying to get out of going, is because she is so very volitile and controlling, and I'm scared of her, one wrong word and she flys off the handle :eek:

Well...off to California, I'll try to make it a fun trip.

Thank you for your advice.
 

OHRoadwarrior

Senior Member
Try to make the trip a weekend getaway, rather than a necessary chore. Lots of great places to visit on the way.
See if you can get her to agree to a bank account, local to both places for direct deposit.
 

MPaws

Junior Member
Thanks, I will do that.

"See if you can get her to agree to a bank account, local to both places for direct deposit."

You mean setting up an account at a bank near her?

She said the check/s needs to be endorsed. That's why I suggested Certified Mail and why I was wondering if there was some kind of law that an actual signature is required on the check.

:)
 

anteater

Senior Member
She said the check/s needs to be endorsed. That's why I suggested Certified Mail and why I was wondering if there was some kind of law that an actual signature is required on the check.
Your realize that she is full of it, don't you?
 

MPaws

Junior Member
Anteater,

"Your realize that she is full of it, don't you?"

I had my suspicions, now I know...thanks. I didn't think it was necessary.

Why do you suppose she's making it difficult for me (and expensive) by driving to another state to pick it up when all she does is yell at me. It's not like we have a good relationship.

There are two more checks coming later that I'll have to drive out there for because she won't mail or deposit them either. :confused:

I don't know what I can do about it but just go.

Thanks :)
 

anteater

Senior Member
Why do you suppose she's making it difficult for me (and expensive) by driving to another state to pick it up when all she does is yell at me. It's not like we have a good relationship.
Maybe, deep down, she is lonely. :confused:

I can sort of understand a reluctance to use electronic transfers. But putting a check in the mail?

Anyway, you could ask her to explain where she is getting this stuff about having to come to pick up checks. Pretty obvious that it won't help improve an already not so good relationship, but you might hint that you will be consulting with a couple attorneys.
 

MPaws

Junior Member
Thank you for your reply.

I don't think she's lonely, she has her husband and kids.

I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and go and try to make the best of it.

Thanks again.
 

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