Frail father-in-law& helpful cousins

[Jim/NJ]

My father-in-law lives alone,is legally blind and in poor health. He wishes to stay in his home and refuses to move in with us. He is financially secure and owns his home outright. My wife (executrix) and a grandaughter are his only significant heirs.

His nephew and his nephew's family want to move
in with him and provide companionship/care. They plan on selling their own house after doing so, thus this does not seem like a short-term arrangement. They have discussed it with him and he seems amenable to the idea.

Question: Superficially this seems like a good idea, since he will have companionship and someone to look after him- but does this sound like a potential headache for the executor or what?? Would a lease (he wants to give them 5-10
years, consideration being half the utilities and of course companionship- and the option to buy the property at a set date after his death)still be binding on the estate?? Would all the necessary contingencies (what if he dies, goes to a nursing home, can't stand living with them, etc.) make for an unwieldy and unenforceable lease?? Any similar experiences with this? He lives in NJ.

 

[ALawyer]

This is very tricky -- it may be a wonderful solution for all of them, or it may be a greedy effort to get the old man's house and then his money with the cousins essentially operating like the Manson Family with the threat of cutting off his care, or worse, as the leverage. One of the first things I would look at is how close were the cousins BEFOE this? ANd why now?

In any event, a proper agreement prepared by a VERY capable lawyer representing your father-in-law would seem essential, and before agreeing to anything he should probably have a comprehensive estate plan with his assets all placed in a Living Trust, with pre-selected beneficiaries, that could not be easily changed. (There are far too many horror stories of care givers turned schemers and even torturers to get the money.)

Second, he might have them come with a very short term lease, even for no rent, to see what is involved, and try it out, WITHOUT having them sell their home or having him reorganize his life. If he likes it, and they like it, a second agreement would be drawn.

There are no normal standard agreements in circumstances like this. And as for giving them the right to buy it, and to continue to live there, it all depends on what and when and how much. Allowing them to live there for a few years after a long time caring for him makes sense; but what if he died shortly after they moved in, or he did not like their brand of "care" or he needed a nursing home?