I've been married to my husband for 22 years, and during this time I've learned a lot of deeply personal family money issues including my mother in law's finances/will etc. None of which hinges on my marriage but, in the last 5 years or so my mother in law planned her death by setting up a living trust and securing her 3 grown children's lives. Awesome.
In the last few years my bother in law seems to expect me to not say anything whatsoever, in regard to discussing my mother in law's diminishing health/mental health with respect to talking about her will or making sure she has all her bases covered with her kids. It wasn't so, during the first few years of her planning.... she was very open about it in discussing it in front of us. (her kids and I) He's openly grown very dismissive and unresponsive to me if I say anything during conversations about her finances/will/living trust etc. The discussion seems to be opened up by my mother in law most often, but sometimes by bro-in-law when there are financial changes or redistribution's going on with her personal finances. She's steadily forgetting many things including where she's driving. They seem blind to the fact that she's lost her way a few times driving on the freeways in SoCal.
I am not included in her will and I've known that for, forever. My husband is, but not as a married person. Not as "Husband and wife" or "and spouse"... etc. As if he's not married. She is expects that I am to assume to be part of his life, but not within her will. Although, I am fine with that if its legal to do.
What I'm growing upset about is... why has it become so difficult for my bro-in-law to allow me to speak about any part of this, when I freely used to? Are there any laws broken by excluding me from this kind of discussion, when I was was able to do so without an issue?
The worst part is they all seem to discuss my mom in laws finances every time we sit to eat together. Which we do sometimes, twice a week. They need to because she forgets so much of what she's done.
If there's no legal advice on this, will anyone be willing to put forth their opinion on it?
Outsidr
In the last few years my bother in law seems to expect me to not say anything whatsoever, in regard to discussing my mother in law's diminishing health/mental health with respect to talking about her will or making sure she has all her bases covered with her kids. It wasn't so, during the first few years of her planning.... she was very open about it in discussing it in front of us. (her kids and I) He's openly grown very dismissive and unresponsive to me if I say anything during conversations about her finances/will/living trust etc. The discussion seems to be opened up by my mother in law most often, but sometimes by bro-in-law when there are financial changes or redistribution's going on with her personal finances. She's steadily forgetting many things including where she's driving. They seem blind to the fact that she's lost her way a few times driving on the freeways in SoCal.
I am not included in her will and I've known that for, forever. My husband is, but not as a married person. Not as "Husband and wife" or "and spouse"... etc. As if he's not married. She is expects that I am to assume to be part of his life, but not within her will. Although, I am fine with that if its legal to do.
What I'm growing upset about is... why has it become so difficult for my bro-in-law to allow me to speak about any part of this, when I freely used to? Are there any laws broken by excluding me from this kind of discussion, when I was was able to do so without an issue?
The worst part is they all seem to discuss my mom in laws finances every time we sit to eat together. Which we do sometimes, twice a week. They need to because she forgets so much of what she's done.
If there's no legal advice on this, will anyone be willing to put forth their opinion on it?
Outsidr
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