headstone rights

[vbh]

Kansas....Dad owned 2 plots in cemetary. My grandparents were cremated decades ago and their urns buried in one of the plots. They have a "shared headstone" bought by Dad. Dad died last year. He wrote down his wishes as to his memorial service and that he should be cremated and his ashes mixed with those of his parents in the plot containing their urns. He also wrote of how he wanted his "stone" to read. He also wrote that his wife could "join" his ashes if she so desired, or be buried in the 2nd plot. We (his children) carried out his wishes. Now his wife (our stepmother) wants to erect a "grander" stone of mammoth proportions than the one we provided---this would also very much overshadow his parent's stone. Does she have the legal right to do so?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Sure, why not?

There's nothing "illegal" about what she intends to do. There's no such tort called "overshadowing."

IAAL

 

[vbh]

Why not? Please, save the sarcasm. I suppose I should clarify: The cemetary has a "rule" that if there should be more than one headstone per grave, the headstones need to be of the same size as the stone of my grandparents. Since the ashes of the three "occupants" were all intermixed with the soil in the one grave, we could erect a mammoth stone of any size to memorialize the three or provide the headstone requested by my father at the same (equal) size as the one he chose for his parents. In order for a great monolith of a stone to be erected, it would need to be placed on the other grave sight---the one in which my stepmom plans to be buried in----the one where Dad is NOT buried. That is OK with me, but I do not see how one can usurp my father's wishes...(she plans on trashing the one Dad had described in a private letter separate from his will). He was an attorney, by the way...however showed much more diplomacy and respect for his clients than your response has displayed in this case. Maybe someone else can answer this question and disregard the "shadow effect" of my first post to what I thought might be a "safe" and reasonably qualified forum.