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Thread: How do I legally disown an adult child?

  1. #1
    sillyme3 is offline Junior Member
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    How do I legally disown an adult child?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? SC
    I would like to legally disown my child. I have given this alot of thought and am not doin it on a whim. I want to make sure when I die that my son gets nothing from me. This is not revenge. My son got more than his share from me while I still live. He is 35 and I have paid for him his entire life. I know it is mostly my fault the way he turned out. But he was my son and I loved him with all my heart. I have supported him and his numerous girlfriends and 3 wives and his divorces and helped him gain custody of my 2 grandsons. I don't know for a fact they are actually my grands, but I don't care, I love them and they are mine, I don't care about their DNA. I have bought his cars, paid his ins., took his children to doctors and bought their diapers. I paid his rent and paid his bail.
    Five yrs ago after attemping suicide because of his wife's cheating, he accepted the cheating and returned to her. They cut myself and his sister out of the kids life. After a yr of trying to see my grands, I took him to court for visitation. The judge strongly encourged him to allow it. He told the judge he had no problem with me seeing them, but outside of court told me I would never see them again. Since then my son has been arrested for theft. His wife has been arrested for crimminal domestic violence and the last baby, last year, tested positive for drugs at birth. CPS has been to their home numerous times. They move around alot to lose them. Family members report seeing the children dirty and unkept. I am getting older and know the moment I die he will swoop in to take whatever he wants. I don't have alot, but what I have is for my grands. What can I do?
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  2. #2
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Speak with an attorney.
  3. #3
    commentator is offline Senior Member
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    Make a will. The only reason he can "sweep in and get what he wants" is that you have postponed doing this. Don't threaten and threaten and then fail to do the actual paperwork. This won't be a deterrent to him in any way. He will doubtless, if you fall out any time soon, disbelieve your vocalizing (I bet there's been a lot of this through the years) and come around to see what he can get by picking your bones.

    It will be a surprise to him if he discovers that he can't. Then of course he'll attempt to get "his rightful share" from his own children. So you'll have to make a real effort and put careful thought in how you're going to set your worldly goods aside for them without his being involved.

    But life is uncertain. Don't just talk about doing this. Do it right away. Then don't spend a lot of time bragging to him about how you've done it. Except that I would make it clear once or twice that you have guaranteed he'll not profit from your passing. Sometimes lovely children like this find it necessary to speed their parents passing if they think it'll profit them and the parent stops enabling while living
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  4. #4
    sillyme3 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks for your help. I will make an app. with an attorney tomorrow. I also have a daughter, 38. Although she and I have had problems over the years, she has never cut me off from her child. She has needed help ocassionally, but has always repaid me. I would like to leave everything to her and let her decide how to help the grandchildren. She loves her nephews as much as they once loved her. But I'm afraid that being raised by my son and his current wife, his 3 children have 3 different mother and he only married this last one, I am afraid the boys will grow up to be just like their father. I want my money to pay for college, help purchase a home, etc. Not bail them out of jail, or buy new sound system or rims for their car. I also don't want him to even be notified if something happens to me. He took the best years of my grandsons lives away from me and I will never forgive him for that, all because I said no to him. They are 8 & 10 now and their memory of me is fading fast. But I must make sure that my son cannot even get a childhood picture from my home after my death.
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  5. #5
    tranquility is offline Senior Member
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    This is more of trust territory, not will.
  6. #6
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    You can't be surprised that your son doesn't want you in his life or his childrens' lives after YOU SUED HIM.
  7. #7
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ecmst12 View Post
    You can't be surprised that your son doesn't want you in his life or his childrens' lives after YOU SUED HIM.


    No kidding!
  8. #8
    guessagain is offline Junior Member
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    Thumbs up Wanting to disown a grown child, for whatever reason, is a valid legal choice.

    I empathize with your situation. COMMENTATOR gave the best advice.

    For some reason, many of the "adviser's" here think you deserve what you got because they misunderstood you to say you SUED your son.

    ADVISERS: sillyme3 did not sue her son, she took him to court for visitation rights to see her grandchildren. That is not the same as suing.

    Quote Originally Posted by sillyme3 View Post
    I took him to court for visitation. The judge strongly encouraged him to allow it. He told the judge he had no problem with me seeing them, but outside of court told me I would never see them again.
    I wish you the best of luck sillyme3.
  9. #9
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by guessagain View Post
    I empathize with your situation. COMMENTATOR gave the best advice.

    For some reason, many of the "adviser's" here think you deserve what you got because they misunderstood you to say you SUED your son.

    ADVISERS: sillyme3 did not sue her son, she took him to court for visitation rights to see her grandchildren. That is not the same as suing.



    I wish you the best of luck sillyme3.


    And I wish that you would post correct information.

    Yes, they SUED for visitation. You want to play the semantics game? Play elsewhere. Really. And please don't abuse that poor apostrophe again.
  10. #10
    justalayman is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by guessagain View Post
    I empathize with your situation. COMMENTATOR gave the best advice.

    For some reason, many of the "adviser's" here think you deserve what you got because they misunderstood you to say you SUED your son.

    ADVISERS: sillyme3 did not sue her son, she took him to court for visitation rights to see her grandchildren. That is not the same as suing.



    I wish you the best of luck sillyme3.
    first, this thread is a month and a half old. While not ancient, it was basically no longer active. Then, yes, OP sued her son. That is the proper term when you initiate a suit to seek visitation.

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