Sorry about the double posts, the original story is below and answers to Tecate's questions Follow the story**************
Original post: My Father resided in California and passed away May 3, 2007. I am his only blood child and I have two children. My Dad remarried 32 years ago and he adopted my step-sister. My step sister has three children and continues to live with my step mom in my Dad and Step mom's home.
I contacted my step Mom recently and asked her nicely for a copy of my Dad's will and a listing of his medical conditions(my Dad was only 59, I want to protect myself and children incase any of his many illnesses might be hereditary) My step Mom wrote me back stating there was not a will but they have a living trust and that his medical history is a private matter between a husband and wife. She also stated about the trust "You have no standing in the matter and no information will be forthcoming".
Can I request a copy of the living trust even if I am not named in it? (she cc'd her letter to a trust attorney) I was told by a friend that is a lawyer to request a copy it is my right as a potential beneficiary(this lawyer is not a trust/inheritance lawyer)
If I am not named in the trust can/should I contest it? SHOULD I?
Under what grounds? ( I have read here that this would be a difficult and no win situation)
I loved my Father very much and he told me that he loved me and thought of me often and my step Mom told me at the funeral how much he loved me but this has been a slap in the face to me. My Dad's Mom and his brothers are all surprised at the fact that not one provision was left for me. I mainly hoped for some momentos of my Dad and photos of some of his classic cars he retored (and sold) and possibly something left to my two children towards their education. My Dad sent my step sister to college and her three kids to private Catholic school and now Catholic college. He paid my child support to my Mother and that was it. He wouls see me if my Mom and his parents paid for me to fly to L.A., I didn't stay with him only with his parents, he would see me one or two times while I spent 3 months in California. I guess I should have caused problems, complained, demanded more from my Father but I did not want to make waves. My relationship with my Father was fun until he married my Step Mom. He would take me to every theme park and he would dress up as Santa every Christmas and I have photos to prove it. But once they were married I lost him for ever, and our contact dwindled even more when I was relocated to Nevada. I tried, I sent him cards and called him but nothing in return. It caused a lot of anguish in my life as a child but I always thought there would be more time for me to reunite with my Father after he finished raising his step Grand kids. Well he died too soon. So now what should I do? Fight for it or give up after forty years of waiting for "my turn".
My Father was a kept man and not allowed to make any decisions on his own. He would only see me if I flew to California and only after he checked with my Step-Mom and Step Sister was he allowed to come see me at his Mother's house and only for an hour or two. He had never indicated to me or his brothers or Mom that I would be disinherited nor that I had ever done any wrong in his eyes. He would promise me things but never came through. My Step Mom acted as if she liked me until now, our relationship was very distant.
At this point I am at a loss, do I pursue this issue or do I do nothing and continue to wonder if I should have done something? Yes, money would be nice but I would much rather have personal items that were his, a watch or ring or photos. I would like to have something to give to my young children from their Grandfather. According to my uncles my Dad was well off and his house 1.3 mil home is paid off. They drove nice newer cars and he retired early from his own business and supposedly have been living off interest from selling this business. ( I am not sure if that is true)
If my Dad was coerced by my Step Mom and Step Sister to leave me out and my Uncles(his brothers) would attest to that fact do I have a legal leg to stand on?
Thanks in advance for your information. Sorry for all the extra info but I wanted you to have the full picture so to speak and I am wordy.
Does the get lost letter say she is?
No, the letter from the step mom states and I quote: "Regarding your Father's Will; Your Father did not have a will. Together as husband and wife we have a living trust. The dictates of the trust are being administered as written and since you have no standing in the matter, no information will be forthcoming."
So no, she does not indicate she is the trustee, I had hoped the lawyer she typed as a CC: at the end of her letter was the trustee(wishful thinking). According to the letter she wrote I am not included in their trust but I am more so interested if there was any provisions for their Grandkids (Step Moms and possibly my Father's which would be my children.) I am certain (though I can't believe it) that I was left out and I can deal with that myself but for the sake of my kids, I was hoping they might be included somewhere.
The partner of the lawyer I sent the letter to requesting a copy of the trust has graciously offered to assist me if this was a matter of California Trust/Estate and I might just take him up on that offer. I am prepared to spend some money, I just don't like the unknown and try to research as many possiblities before jumping in feet first. So here is my next question and I suppose the lawyer I retain would hopefully be able to answer this question as well.....
What exactly would the Trust Lawyer do for me? He could get me copies of the letters of administration? and then what? If I cannot prove he was coerced by someone to leave me out of the will I don't have a leg to stand on correct? I guess I have questions that I think will be answered in the trust document. I want to see with my own eyes that he really left me out, silly I know. Pricey I am about to find that out too.
Another question I have that is probably inappropriate to this thread is:
I had requested from the Step mother a brief list of my father's illnesses to give to my doctor since I may be predisposed to some of the many illnesses he had and eventually killed him. She flat out told me NO. She stated it was a private matter between husband and wife and that nothing he had could have been inherited(he had an enlarged heart, bad valves from what I have been able to gather and a ton more illness). Well I am sorry but I don't trust her and since she was a nail stylist for many years I don't think she is qualified to make a decision such as to mine or my childrens future health.
Would i have this same lawyer ask for a summary of his health? I don't wnat gory details either.
Telegraph your punches to her in hopes she will snap out of the delusion that you have no right to know.
What exactly do you mean by the above statement?
Here is the million dollar question:
Would any of you out there reading this post go for it? Hire a lawyer and pursue it? Please be honest with me. No I don't have money to throw away either, my husband and I work full time and things are not easy at times.
I feel so betrayed, I feel as if I was told the day my Father died that I was adopted and noone knows who my Father is. It is the strangest most painful thing I experienced. I know some of you think I may be a gold digger and I am not. I asked my step-mother for some personal items of my Fathers. I wanted items he cherished like his favorite keychain or watch or football jersey, I am easily made happy and something personal in nature would have been worth more to me than cash that is spent and quickly forgotten..... Even a dollar out of his wallet something that he had touched. I also asked for photographs of his several classic cars that he had built and sold....I got nothing, but more empty promises from her. My step-sister didn't speak to me, and that is fine she was never friendly....two very cold people if you ask me.
Thanks for reading again, your advice is held with high regards.