mdmalibu22
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
My father, a patent attorney, died 10 years ago (when I was 19 years old) with an estate valued at slightly over $5 million. He was survived by me, my younger brother, my alcoholic mother, and his daughter from his previous marriage (who happens to be a partner in a large Chicago lawfirm). The only will at the time of his death (which had actually been drafted before my birth) awarded the entire estate to my mother- despite the fact that he had always told us that his wealth was for all of us to live comfortably. Due to poor financial decisions and frivilous spending by my mother, the estate is now valued at roughly $2million.
His daughter from the previous marriage immediately sued my mother upon my father's passing in 2001 on the premise that (1) he had always indicated that she was to receive a quarter of the estate, and (2) that she believed that a more recent will had been drafted which divided the estate amongst her and my immediate family (my brother, mother, and myself). The updated will was never found, although she alleged it had been destroyed by my mother. She was ultimately successful in the lawsuit and was awarded 25% of the estate 10 years ago.
Having used less than 9% of the estate value to pay for my undergrad education and Northwestern's MBA program, my mother has made me feel that I should be happy for what I have received and not expect anything more. Although I am extremely happy for these opportunities, it is the principle of this whole thing that continues to anger me as I feel that his wishes were not honored. She originally maintained that she was protecting us from our litigious half sister, however since then she has elected to do million dollar remodels on her house, lend hudreds of thousands to charitable donations, etc. rather than allowing me to access any of the funds which my father, for instance, promised would be a down-payment for my first house as I'm about to get married. When my mother was on the verge of remarrying and using $75K to fly her fiance to their Lake Como wedding, she had promised me that she would honor my father's wishes and allow me to buy my first home with the money- and that she intended to pass the rest of the money on to me once she passed away. As her alcoholism has interfered with that relationship, and all others in her life, she now is alone and seems to have chosen to live out her life as a wealthy recluse and now has informed me she has no intention of letting me or my brother have any money while she remains alive. I'm really not sure whether the alcoholism has made her forget her promises over the years but she certainly feels entitled to. My father would roll over in his grave if she knew how she was spending it.
I'm not sure how estates are usually divided between surviving children and the spouse (especially an alcoholic one that the deceased was actually in the early stages of divorcing), but wanted to know whether my half-sister's successful lawsuit would be any premise for me filing a lawsuit for myself at this point, 10 years later. If not, I am really asking this forum for personal advice on whether I should be happy with what I have (and feel spoiled/guilty for wanting any more, as my mother tries to make me feel) or whether one would be able to continue to have a relationship with their mother after this- based on what is generally accepted in terms of the percentages of estates that are passed on to the children?
My father, a patent attorney, died 10 years ago (when I was 19 years old) with an estate valued at slightly over $5 million. He was survived by me, my younger brother, my alcoholic mother, and his daughter from his previous marriage (who happens to be a partner in a large Chicago lawfirm). The only will at the time of his death (which had actually been drafted before my birth) awarded the entire estate to my mother- despite the fact that he had always told us that his wealth was for all of us to live comfortably. Due to poor financial decisions and frivilous spending by my mother, the estate is now valued at roughly $2million.
His daughter from the previous marriage immediately sued my mother upon my father's passing in 2001 on the premise that (1) he had always indicated that she was to receive a quarter of the estate, and (2) that she believed that a more recent will had been drafted which divided the estate amongst her and my immediate family (my brother, mother, and myself). The updated will was never found, although she alleged it had been destroyed by my mother. She was ultimately successful in the lawsuit and was awarded 25% of the estate 10 years ago.
Having used less than 9% of the estate value to pay for my undergrad education and Northwestern's MBA program, my mother has made me feel that I should be happy for what I have received and not expect anything more. Although I am extremely happy for these opportunities, it is the principle of this whole thing that continues to anger me as I feel that his wishes were not honored. She originally maintained that she was protecting us from our litigious half sister, however since then she has elected to do million dollar remodels on her house, lend hudreds of thousands to charitable donations, etc. rather than allowing me to access any of the funds which my father, for instance, promised would be a down-payment for my first house as I'm about to get married. When my mother was on the verge of remarrying and using $75K to fly her fiance to their Lake Como wedding, she had promised me that she would honor my father's wishes and allow me to buy my first home with the money- and that she intended to pass the rest of the money on to me once she passed away. As her alcoholism has interfered with that relationship, and all others in her life, she now is alone and seems to have chosen to live out her life as a wealthy recluse and now has informed me she has no intention of letting me or my brother have any money while she remains alive. I'm really not sure whether the alcoholism has made her forget her promises over the years but she certainly feels entitled to. My father would roll over in his grave if she knew how she was spending it.
I'm not sure how estates are usually divided between surviving children and the spouse (especially an alcoholic one that the deceased was actually in the early stages of divorcing), but wanted to know whether my half-sister's successful lawsuit would be any premise for me filing a lawsuit for myself at this point, 10 years later. If not, I am really asking this forum for personal advice on whether I should be happy with what I have (and feel spoiled/guilty for wanting any more, as my mother tries to make me feel) or whether one would be able to continue to have a relationship with their mother after this- based on what is generally accepted in terms of the percentages of estates that are passed on to the children?
