1) You said, "My concern was that this person is precluded from the benefits because of their role as trustee." Your concerns are not valid. The trust documents will lay out the direction of the trustee. The trustee cannot "shoot from the hip" just because s/he is the trustee. It is very common for a trustee to be one of the beneficiaries. The key is for the other beneficiaries to stay in touch with the process.
2) You asked, "Can beneficiaries be designated in any way the grantor chooses without restriction as to "per stripes" or "per capita"? (If they are outside the "blood" family.)"
Yes.