Issues with Trustees.

[Malop]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania.

Hi I am hoping someone can give us some clarity on this tough issue...will be long, apologies in advance.

My boyfriend's mother passed about 5 years ago now, her wishes were for her lawyer and her sister to control what she has left to my boyfriend until he is 40 years old. He is 25 now. I believe the funds in his trust are upwards of 300k (but we really do not know, more on that..)

I was wondering if there is anything he can do to gain more control of this or pick another truste? He has asked if control could be given to him or someone else til he turns 40, of course they say no possible way under any circumstance ~ not worth the time to fight..but we're still curious, don't really trust them.)

I am not asking this because he wants the money or whatever it just has been torture dealing with these people and if he has no control..fine, but could he find some way to choose a different trustee?

His Aunt is very difficult, the lawyer is fine but he must answer to the Aunt before any money comes out of the trust. They are supposed to make sure he is taken care of with the money but constantly threaten to throw him/us out of his (their?) house for things as little as.. well she last visited and the carpet has a few stains on it and she has demanded he replace the carpeting with our own money or she will throw us out. Um? (A steam cleaning fixed the problem PS, wasn't a big deal) We keep the place extremely tidy. No choice since they are constantly checking it out. You should see the ridiculous rule sheet they made for him when they sold HIS house and made him move here...

Before you think we are destructive or deviants we are not, we are so boring it hurts. We both work full time, go out on the weekends a little.. stay home with the dog, don't have any kind of parties, don't have drinking/drug habits.

They demand to know all of our expenses yet they do not provide my boyfriend with any information on his finances.. he has no idea where it is invested, what is even there, what comes out of it they think it is best to 'leave him in the dark' - less questions the better, god forbid he ask any!! If he does they are not answered with yes/no.

Recently we had both been temporarily laid off and ran into some HUGE house repair problems, which we believe the fund should be taking care of since they treat it like it is not his house anyway. We are both working again and dealing with these things, however.

Beyond that, they demanded his nanny and her WHOLE family stay with us for a 2 week visit (from Austria (2 adults - 3 children (with us.. 7 people in a 2 bedroom condo with a great dane, boy that was a blast) We had to give up our bedroom, buy the groceries.. take them around to Philly and other tourist attractions. The biggest kick in the face to all of that was the reason they were visiting was to take the 15k that was left to the nanny. (of course Aunt and Lawyer arranged it so they could pick it up without paying their countries high inheritence taxes and such) While we can't ask for $200 towards home repair bills.

My boyfriend has done nothing wrong at any point to this woman, he's a hard working, intelligent, respectful and responsible. (He is adopted, he's always been treated like dirt by her. While his older sister has collected all her money and has control of it - another fun tidbit. He was the center of his mother's universe however, she had a huge falling out with his sister many years before her death and wanted to change the will for her to get nothing but was too ill and passed before she got around to it. His sister at his mother funeral said to him "It's okay she can't hurt you now!" while she is rolling around in her trust money now.) Must we be treated like children til we're middle aged?!! I can't imagine being threatened with eviction every time the carpet has a new stain for that long.

If there is something we can do, how do we go about it? If they had any idea about him wanting control I am not sure what they would do - scary thought.

I know this was long and personal but I wanted to get the point across. Thanks so much for reading!

PS - I say "They" a lot but the Lawyer is much more fair than his Aunt and they do fight over how this is handled enough, he believes she is ridiculous as much as we do he just cannot override her.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[TrustUser]

as a general rule, a beneficiary has the right to view the trust document, as well as getting trust accounting. at least once a year.

the first step is to get a copy of the trust document. if the aunt refuses, you can always do what lawyers do - INTIMIDATE.

the chances are extremely high that the beneficiary has the right to see the document, and that the aunt knows this.

if the aunt is threatened, i would think that she would give in, knowing she could be in trouble if she does not.

once you see the document, the rest of your questions should be answered - regarding what assets the trust owns, what sorts of control the beneficiary has now, and when he turns 40, etc.

 

[Malop]

Thank you for responding!

I believe you are correct that he has the right to view it as when questions start being asked she is forever just saying they will set up a meeting to discuss his finances and show him what is coming out of it and what the investments are - it just never happens. She often says things like "We've discussed all this already!" She swears it's been spelled out. Certainly hasn't. He will have to hound them more, they're both very unavailable people unless they have something to harass us about!

 

[TrustUser]

the aunt will put you off, forever - if you let her.

if you guys are local, the thing to do is show up at the door, and give her no excuse, like she has to go the doctor's office, etc.

tell her you will drive her to her appointment, and drive her back where you plan to get get a copy of the trust document, and the asset list.

the only way to deal with these sorts of people is aggressively.

the moment you are passive, they step right over you. so far, you have been very passive, and have allowed them to dictate to you. that simply is not gonna work.

 

[Dandy Don]

The trustee had an obligation to send your boyfriend a copy of the trust document and an accounting statement soon after the death occurred. At that time your boyfriend could have reviewed the trust document to see exactly how much he was left and if there are any stipulations on how the funds must be distributed and spent (for a college education, for general health and welfare, etc.). The fact that the trustee hasn't done this is somewhat irresponsible and sometimes trustees are afraid to reveal that a beneficiary has a lot of money because the trustee feels the beneficiary will use that as an excuse to become a spendthrit and irresponsible, when that may not in fact be the case at all.

Your boyfriend needs to consult with a trust attorney to find out what Pennsylvania law requires as far as notice to trust beneficiaries and then his attorney can act as an intermediary if necessary to ask the trustee to comply with what he/she is supposed to do. After boyfriend has reviewed the trust document he will have a better idea of when or how often to request money and for what valid reasons will be acceptable for doing so. Probably better to ask only once or twice a year and ask for moderately medium or large amounts so you won't have to continually pester the trustee for money.

 

[Malop]

Thanks for your responses trust & don.

It's true he has been pretty passive about accepting that they don't want him in on it, I think it's because they've installed so much fear in him over it! His Aunt and he obviously have a bit of a sour relationship and always have, I think his mother viewed it as tough love because she has been much nastier to him since she's passed. I can't imagine she would be proud of how her sister is treating her son. She had a debilitating disease and he gave up much of his childhood to help care for her long after her biological child had completely taken off.

Neither one of us want to deal with the Aunt, but it must be done.

I have another question and I am not expecting anyone to know for sure but perhaps some insight..the Aunt has said more than a few times that she should have sold the house and not gotten him this place he has now. Could she have left him with no where to go like that? Seems pretty insane.

I ask this thinking about the situation of my Grandfather who died with a hefty nursing home debt, and no one was allowed to touch the house he owned because my father was living in it..and as far as I understood no one could touch it as long as someone related to him was living there.

I understand that is a completely different scenario, sorry if I sound dumb haha.. I am not up on any of this will/trust laws clearly. I just can't help but wonder if he would be dealing with the same issues (the home checks/threats to evict) if he kept his childhood home since the trust bought this place.