What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Iowa/Nebraska
I've been looking through all of the posts and threads here for the last coupld of days and thought I'd see if anyone out there has some sound advise for me. I'll apologize in advance if this turns into a book, but I think I need to present background information to lead up to some of my questions...
My grandfather was a farmer from the day he was born. He and my grandmother grew up during the depression, worked hard their entire lives and saved everything they ever earned or invested it to guarentee that they would always have something to fall back on.
My grandmother had two children from a previous marriage but he took the children in as if they were his own and raised them.
My mother has always been around and close by, but did not always do what they felt was right. She married at a young age, lost my father due to a car accident, had me and raised me as a single parent for three years, and then remarried a man that they didn't really care for.
My uncle married and had three children and none of them have ever been really close to them. Anytime they were they always were of the opinion that my grandparents were well off and that they were entitled to what they had.
Approximately 15 years ago my grandfater had a falling out with his side of the family and hasn't had any contact with them.
Not long after, my grandparents decided that they needed to get their affairs in order and went to an attorney and had their wills drawn up and set up a revocable trust. No one really knows exactly what they included. I for one don't really care one way or the other. I was told that in the event that something were to happen to one, everything would go to the other and then when the other passed all of their land and other assets would be sold, my mother would get some, my uncle and his children would get a little, that they had instructions that a few others would get some, and the remainder would be left to me.
Even though they planned ahead, everyone, my grandparents included, always believed that she would go first due to poor health.
Lasy May, my grandfather died suddenly of a massive heart attack. Since then my grandmother has been trying to deal and cope with running the business side of things.
Not long after his death, my grandmother decided that there were things that she wanted to change and decided to get a new attorney. After working with him for months and $3000 later she decided that she didn't care for the way he was doing it and switched back to the originally attorney.
Over the last several months she has started making some rather rash decisions about the farms. A gentleman that has helped out my grandfather for years worked all summer and fall to bring the crops in and who has put her best intrests in mind is at a loss as to what to do. He offers suggestions and she disregards him. They have had the same accountant for years, but she has decided that after taxes are filed this year she is going to find someone else.
To make matters worse, she is still grieving which is understandable, but now has started to form the opinion that everyone is out to get her and take her for everything she has.
I guess some of the questions I have are:
1) Even though my grandfather left everything to her, no one has ever known what his wishes were when he passed other than my grandmother. Isn't it not important to at least have a reading which never transpired?
2) At what point do I decide that she can no longer make rational decisions? She is alienating everyone around her because of her fear. She has made several errors regarding taking medications. Just recently she was hospitalized for about 3 days and on the third day made the suggestion that if her doctor asked if someone was staying with her that my mother was say 'yes' even though thats an outright lie.
3) Presumably she has modified her will and the trust and has pretty much eliminated everyone that was originally in it with the exception my mother and myself. Can she do this even if it goes against my grandfather's original wishes?
I am deathly afraid to say anything to her directly for fear that she will assume that I too am out to get her and alienate me. Is there any way to find out or talk to the attorney without her knowing?
Is there any way for me to find out more information regarding her attorney and the trustee of the trust? I have never met either one of them and given the attorney is located in Iowa
What rights, if any, do I have in the event that something happens to her and she cannot make her own decisions? According to my mother she does have a living will, but in the event that she cannot tend to her own affairs rationally, what do I need to look for and plan ahead?
Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated. I'm sure I'll have other questions somewhere along the way.
I've been looking through all of the posts and threads here for the last coupld of days and thought I'd see if anyone out there has some sound advise for me. I'll apologize in advance if this turns into a book, but I think I need to present background information to lead up to some of my questions...
My grandfather was a farmer from the day he was born. He and my grandmother grew up during the depression, worked hard their entire lives and saved everything they ever earned or invested it to guarentee that they would always have something to fall back on.
My grandmother had two children from a previous marriage but he took the children in as if they were his own and raised them.
My mother has always been around and close by, but did not always do what they felt was right. She married at a young age, lost my father due to a car accident, had me and raised me as a single parent for three years, and then remarried a man that they didn't really care for.
My uncle married and had three children and none of them have ever been really close to them. Anytime they were they always were of the opinion that my grandparents were well off and that they were entitled to what they had.
Approximately 15 years ago my grandfater had a falling out with his side of the family and hasn't had any contact with them.
Not long after, my grandparents decided that they needed to get their affairs in order and went to an attorney and had their wills drawn up and set up a revocable trust. No one really knows exactly what they included. I for one don't really care one way or the other. I was told that in the event that something were to happen to one, everything would go to the other and then when the other passed all of their land and other assets would be sold, my mother would get some, my uncle and his children would get a little, that they had instructions that a few others would get some, and the remainder would be left to me.
Even though they planned ahead, everyone, my grandparents included, always believed that she would go first due to poor health.
Lasy May, my grandfather died suddenly of a massive heart attack. Since then my grandmother has been trying to deal and cope with running the business side of things.
Not long after his death, my grandmother decided that there were things that she wanted to change and decided to get a new attorney. After working with him for months and $3000 later she decided that she didn't care for the way he was doing it and switched back to the originally attorney.
Over the last several months she has started making some rather rash decisions about the farms. A gentleman that has helped out my grandfather for years worked all summer and fall to bring the crops in and who has put her best intrests in mind is at a loss as to what to do. He offers suggestions and she disregards him. They have had the same accountant for years, but she has decided that after taxes are filed this year she is going to find someone else.
To make matters worse, she is still grieving which is understandable, but now has started to form the opinion that everyone is out to get her and take her for everything she has.
I guess some of the questions I have are:
1) Even though my grandfather left everything to her, no one has ever known what his wishes were when he passed other than my grandmother. Isn't it not important to at least have a reading which never transpired?
2) At what point do I decide that she can no longer make rational decisions? She is alienating everyone around her because of her fear. She has made several errors regarding taking medications. Just recently she was hospitalized for about 3 days and on the third day made the suggestion that if her doctor asked if someone was staying with her that my mother was say 'yes' even though thats an outright lie.
3) Presumably she has modified her will and the trust and has pretty much eliminated everyone that was originally in it with the exception my mother and myself. Can she do this even if it goes against my grandfather's original wishes?
I am deathly afraid to say anything to her directly for fear that she will assume that I too am out to get her and alienate me. Is there any way to find out or talk to the attorney without her knowing?
Is there any way for me to find out more information regarding her attorney and the trustee of the trust? I have never met either one of them and given the attorney is located in Iowa
What rights, if any, do I have in the event that something happens to her and she cannot make her own decisions? According to my mother she does have a living will, but in the event that she cannot tend to her own affairs rationally, what do I need to look for and plan ahead?
Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated. I'm sure I'll have other questions somewhere along the way.
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