Question about executor of fathers will.

[Art_diesel]

Actually, my answers have been legally correct. Legally, you have no say in how your mentally competent father handles his estate. He is free to establish a will in any manner that he wishes. What you have told us about his actions gives no indication that he has done anything other than exactly what he wants to do.

Well I dont think your mentally competent to understand what Im trying to get across. My dad wants me and my sister to have everything split 50/50. My dad doesnt understand that an executor has the power to renege on what my dad clearly states in the will.

 

[Zigner]

Well I dont think your mentally competent to understand what Im trying to get across. My dad wants me and my sister to have everything split 50/50. My dad doesnt understand that an executor has the power to renege on what my dad clearly states in the will.

Legally, the executor doesn't have that power. The executor must follow the terms of the will. I think that YOU misunderstand the terms of the will.

 

[Art_diesel]

Legally, the executor doesn't have that power. The executor must follow the terms of the will. I think that YOU misunderstand the terms of the will.

Look, Your absolutely right about the executor. But look at this. I google " what if the executor of a will steals?". You would be suprised at how many stories there are of the executor embezzling the money from the estate and selling property and pocketing the money. Your right though the executor is supposed to honor the will. Thats what Im concerned about. If the executor honors the will I have no problem. My question that I threw out is what can I do if the executor doesnt honor the wishes of the will? Im just looking for advice, Im not looking to fight with anyone on here. I have much beter things to do.

 

[Zigner]

Look, Your absolutely right about the executor. But look at this. I google " what if the executor of a will steals?". You would be suprised at how many stories there are of the executor embezzling the money from the estate and selling property and pocketing the money. Your right though the executor is supposed to honor the will. Thats what Im concerned about. If the executor honors the will I have no problem. My question that I threw out is what can I do if the executor doesnt honor the wishes of the will? Im just looking for advice, Im not looking to fight with anyone on here. I have much beter things to do.

Look up car crashes
Look up pick-pocketing
Look up alien abductions

You'll get hundreds upon thousands of stories on the internet relating to each. Don't assume that, because there are stories on the internet it will automatically happen to you.

If the administrator of the will does not follow the provisions of the will, you will have the opportunity to address it through the courts.

 

[Art_diesel]

Look up car crashes
Look up pick-pocketing
Look up alien abductions

You'll get hundreds upon thousands of stories on the internet relating to each. Don't assume that, because there are stories on the internet it will automatically happen to you.

If the administrator of the will does not follow the provisions of the will, you will have the opportunity to address it through the courts.

yeah you got me on that one. I just saw some bad stories and it creeped into my head that its going to happen to me. I hope your right and Im wrong.

 

[curb1]

Dad should make his accounts POD (pay on death) with you and sister as beneficiaries (if that is what he wants). That way the money will go directly to you and sister when he passes. It would not be part of the will. Are there any debts involved? Any real estate? What other assets? Does he have you and sister as beneficiaries on all of these accounts?

 

[anteater]

Seems to me that The Niece is taking a lot of abuse in absentia without a shred of evidence that any wrongdoing has taken place or will occur.

 

[Zigner]

Seems to me that The Niece is taking a lot of abuse in absentia without a shred of evidence that any wrongdoing has taken place or will occur.

...or any credit for the constant care she seems to be providing for dad.

 

[Art_diesel]

Seems to me that The Niece is taking a lot of abuse in absentia without a shred of evidence that any wrongdoing has taken place or will occur.

Well Im probably wrong in expecting the worst from the niece. My problem is I dont know this woman. I started this thread because I wanted to get advice on what to do "IF" she doesn't honor the will as an executor. Ive met her and her family. Whenever they come over and visit my dad I dont feel any sincerity from them. She cleans my dads house twice a month and the house is still filthy. I visited the first week of April and the place was almost unliveable. My dads kitchen sink faucet was cracked so when you turned it on the water would shoot out all over the place. Both his bathrooms the shower heads were broken. His refrigerator had no light so when you open the door you couldnt see anything. I fixed all those things in one day. Also my mom said that a lot of laundry wasnt done so my mom had to do all his laundry. My dads paying the niece $140 a month and taking her to lunch for each cleaning visit. My mom and I got his place the way it was suppose to be in one day! Also when you open his microwave it was filthy like someone had put a pizza in there and let it blow up. I have more issues with this woman but you get my point i hope. I love my dad and am depressed he chooses to stay up there. I feel like shes manipulating him to keep him up there. I could be wrong though but my gut tells me other wise. If this nice loved and cared for my dad so much she'd take better care of him and his house.

 

[Art_diesel]

...or any credit for the constant care she seems to be providing for dad.

My dad lives alone. For about a month his license was taken away so he relied on her to get his medicine and groceries. When my dad had to go to Salt Lake city for his biopsy she took him. My dad pays her for everything she does. She doesnt do it for free. A trip to Salt Lake City she gets $200. She gets $140 a month to clean my dads house plus she gets taken to lunch. Her daughter comes over to mow my dads lawn he pays her $60(my dads backyard is huge). I appreciate the help she has given my dad. Its the motivation that troubles me. Family shouldnt charge family to do things. You just do it because you want to. I might think a little diferently also if my dads house was really clean. The last two times the place has been so filthy I had to just block it from my mind that my dad was living here. One more thing, he has two doors in his house that go to the outside. Both locks are broken and anyone could just come in. Ofcourse shes not worried about that. These are things I would be worried about because hes my dad. I fixed those things in a heartbeat.

 

[curb1]

OK, my sentiment is starting to shift. This niece is doing you and your Dad a huge favor for very little in return.

You said, " Family shouldnt charge family to do things." That is sooo wrong. He should be paying her a lot more just because she is available and willing. He would be paying $2,500 - 3,500 in an elder care home. When you say "she gets taken to lunch" you are not understanding that it is work taking someone that age and condition to lunch.

You need to take care of your suspicions in a proper way, but in doing so don't alienate this niece. You should be prepared to reward this niece at the time of your father's passing. He has obviously appreciated her effort. Not everyone has someone available. At the same time, you need to be involved enough to help and understand his assets while he is alive. It will be much more complicated after he passes. But always remember, these are his assets to do with as he pleases. Help him so he is not manipulated, but don't interfere with his desires.

 

[Art_diesel]

OK, my sentiment is starting to shift. This niece is doing you and your Dad a huge favor for very little in return.

You said, " Family shouldnt charge family to do things." That is sooo wrong. He should be paying her a lot more just because she is available and willing. He would be paying $2,500 - 3,500 in an elder care home. When you say "she gets taken to lunch" you are not understanding that it is work taking someone that age and condition to lunch.

You need to take care of your suspicions in a proper way, but in doing so don't alienate this niece. You should be prepared to reward this niece at the time of your father's passing. He has obviously appreciated her effort. Not everyone has someone available. At the same time, you need to be involved enough to help and understand his assets while he is alive. It will be much more complicated after he passes. But always remember, these are his assets to do with as he pleases. Help him so he is not manipulated, but don't interfere with his desires.

It has been very hard on myself, my wife and my mom. We've tried and tried to convince him to stay with us and he keeps saying that this is his home. Ive hard the niece tell my dad that. Its possile I could be wrong and ill definitely own up to being wrong but my gut feeling isnt comfortable. If we had known her for ten+ years then Id be more at ease but we've known her 4 years. 4 years isnt a lot of time. Ive already voiced my concerns with the niece and she understands. She said she'd feel the same way if roles were reversed. Your right though, Im not trying to alienate the niece but I am taking some precautions. Im talking to people familiar with wills and executors and plan on finding a local lawyer up there just incase. Oh and my dad gets around just fine. He still drives and the only thing is his O2 tank but he has a portable one so he can get around. Just try and imagine someone else taking care of your parents affairs other than you. Its devastating for me knowing someone is going to be rooting around my dads belongings and keeping what they want and probably disgarding the rest.

 

[Zigner]

It has been very hard on myself, my wife and my mom. We've tried and tried to convince him to stay with us and he keeps saying that this is his home. Ive hard the niece tell my dad that. Its possile I could be wrong and ill definitely own up to being wrong but my gut feeling isnt comfortable. If we had known her for ten+ years then Id be more at ease but we've known her 4 years. 4 years isnt a lot of time. Ive already voiced my concerns with the niece and she understands. She said she'd feel the same way if roles were reversed. Your right though, Im not trying to alienate the niece but I am taking some precautions. Im talking to people familiar with wills and executors and plan on finding a local lawyer up there just incase. Oh and my dad gets around just fine. He still drives and the only thing is his O2 tank but he has a portable one so he can get around. Just try and imagine someone else taking care of your parents affairs other than you. Its devastating for me knowing someone is going to be rooting around my dads belongings and keeping what they want and probably disgarding the rest.

My father takes care of his own affairs. Yours has done the same.

 

[curb1]

How is the niece related to you? What are your sister's feelings about this? What is the relationship between your mother and your father? Your mother still seems to be in the picture with your father.

Be careful with all of this. You could alienate your father at a very sensitive time of his life.

 

[anteater]

Its devastating for me knowing someone is going to be rooting around my dads belongings and keeping what they want and probably disgarding the rest.

Why do you make that assumption?

If you are concerned, you do what Latigo recommended in (I believe)the first response. You request that the estate administration be supervised and that the executor be required to post a bond. That will probably increase the expense and length of probate, but...

This is based solely on observation... Probably 99.99% of estate administrators take their fiduciary duties seriously and are completely above board. They may make some mistakes but the intent is generally not malicious. Yes, there is that 0.01% who become convinced that the position makes them "emperor of all they survey" and gives them the right to do whatever they feel like doing - settling the "family business" as Michael Corleone puts it. And maybe the niece is one of them.

But, it you are getting freaked out by reading on the internet about "Executors Gone Wild", just remember... You are not going to find stories about the other 99.99%. They aren't news.