quick advice needed

[crc92]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

I was recently notified last week that my two children supposedly have separate trust accounts of an unknown amount ($1,000-$5,000 would be my guess) set up by their grandmother whom we have had no contact with since the death of my husband 4.5 years ago, we dont speak for personal reasons and the emotional well being of my children, they are now harassing my daughter (who was not my husbands biological daughter) via her facebook and email now that shes 18 telling her she must call them, she has repeatedly asked that they please communicate via email because she does not want to call anyone on the phone - to which they responded that if she does not call the money will disappear and be lost to the state.

The trust would have been set up in Maryland as that is where the grandmother lives.

I never had a good relationship with this woman, I dont want them knowing where I or my children live or any pertinent details.
no clue what to do at this point.

The money would be helpful no matter how small an amount as my daughter needs it for school and basic necessities as we dont have much otherwise since my husband passed. We lost everything and the life insurance policies he had went to his mother as his sole beneficiary not us, his family.

But on the other hand it's not worth having the harassment or the stress back in our lives.

On another note, my son is only 15 so I can only look forward to having to go through all this again in 3 years.

help!!

 

[anteater]

You can't control how people want to communicate.

If you have no information regarding these funds, I can only suggest that you or your daughter contact whoever "they" is.

 

[curb1]

Simple solution .... cancel the facebook account. Grandmother has no obligation to give your two children anything. Why would she give your children anything if they won't even make a phone call to her?

You said, "But on the other hand it's not worth having the harassment or the stress back in our lives". Then don't call and don't expect any money.

 

[crc92]

Simple solution .... cancel the facebook account. Grandmother has no obligation to give your two children anything. Why would she give your children anything if they won't even make a phone call to her?

You said, "But on the other hand it's not worth having the harassment or the stress back in our lives". Then don't call and don't expect any money.

She set it up under my husbands wishes with money he provided for the care of his son and step daughter, prior to his passing away. So this is not her giving them anything. This is rightfully theirs from the person that raised them for 12 years of their life. Im just not fond of the way it's been gone about, In an email my daughter told the person (apparently a cousin of my husbands that I never heard of) that she preferred they talk to her mother (me) about all this because she has social issues (she rarely leaves the house, which usually takes pulling teeth to get her to go anywhere public) They told her they will only talk to her and not me.

After my husband passed our lives were turned upside down and we were forced out of our home, had all our personal belongings destroyed. (including my childrens clothing, beds, toys, personal photos etc..) by her, Then having a false report filed with Child Protective Services accusing me of abusing my children (which was dismissed within 24hrs of them coming to make the initial visit)- all for the purpose of trying to obtain information on our whereabouts which caused my son a lot of emotional stress, when she did speak with either child in the past she would just tell them I was a worthless whore (because I had a child prior to meeting my husband) and that their dad died because I was a horrible wife and caused him too much stress. She would tell me to leave his hospital room everytime I tried to visit with him because it was HER time with him, I stayed in the hospital waiting room 24/7 the entire 3wks he was there, if I made a medical decision she went behind my back to tell the doctors that I should have no rights to do so because he was HER son first. My children did not have much of a childhood until after he passed away (which hurts to say but it's true) and we broke ties with every family member on his side and my side as well. Now it's just us 3 and we have much less and we struggle every day financially but we are emotionally so much happier and very close.

I personally dont want HER money, but I feel it's rightfully my childrens since it was set up for them under my husbands wishes.

We used to talk to her on the phone every week after my husband first passed but like I said the constant bad mouthing of me and the interrogating of both my kids caused too much stress for my kids, they both told me they did not want to talk to her because of it, they also didnt like lying about their dad and making it sound like he treated them well out of respect for the fact he was her son, because he really didnt have much of a relationship with either of them other than to threaten them or holler at them in some way. so the contact ceased. My son sees a therapist once a week.

My daughter should not have to change things in her life just to avoid feeling pressured to talk to someone she doesnt even know. My daughter was never treated like family by any of these people, why now? But I feel in reality they are just trying to set her up to get information out of her, telling her she MUST contact them and she MUST take ownership of this trust. But they are also being very secretive about it, telling her not to tell me about their contact with her and that they will set up a meeting with her somewhere - and she does not want to meet with anyone - that is the part I dont approve of - regardless if she is an adult or not - it is still my duty to protect her and be there for her whatever she needs and I will do so.

But they are now telling her that she will be responsible for the taxes on this money unless she does something NOW to take ownership of it and that her dad wanted her to have this. She has reluctantly told this person that she will call and hear them out but she really doesnt want to call. she is afraid.

sorry to air 'dirty laundry' here but trying to make it clear that this was not her money or an issue that there was a healthy grandmother/grandchild relationship ever in this matter. That she was just the person that set up the account under my husbands wishes.

 

[Zigner]

I'm not going to read your ranting. The bottom line is that this is a decision that your daughter will have to make. If the daughter wants the money, make the call. If it's too hard for her, then don't make the call. If she makes the call and then decides it's too hard, stop calling.

 

[curb1]

Why didn't your husband give you the money for his/your children. Why would he give the money to his mother to give the children?

 

[crc92]

Why didn't your husband give you the money for his/your children. Why would he give the money to his mother to give the children?

he had a weird relationship with his mother, she assured him that if anything ever happened we'd be taken care of so he never changed her as his beneficiary on the policies even though we were married for 12 years. He passed away from a heart defect he never knew he had at 33 yrs old so no-one ever really plans on something happening at an age like that

....well that was in regards to his life insurance policies - the other money in regards to this trust she told him she'd put in an investment account so it would be worth something.