• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Rights to deceased's belongings

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

ecmst12

Senior Member
Perhaps some people sue because they want justice. But they can't get it. A court can't award justice, only money, and they are not the same thing.

9 years is a lot longer then many marriages that DON'T end in death last. Clearly it's not someone who only knew her for a few months, married her, then she immediately died. He's also not someone you never met, so he's not a total stranger to YOU either. Hyperbole will get you nowhere.

You could, in theory, go to court and ask that he be compelled to turn over belongings, but it would be difficult to enforce, and you'd have to go through civil court rather then small claims, which means an attorney - expensive. And in the end it might only mean a judgement for the monetary value of the items - which you still might never collect!

You don't mention how old he is, but despite age discrimination being illegal, it can be difficult for people over 60 to find work, and unemployment is high these days for everyone. If he was only a few years from retirement, they might have together decided that it wasn't needed or worth it for him to get another job. That choice isn't really any of your business or concern. You are clearly angry and judgemental. This man, who you even ADMIT treated your mother very well and made her happy in the last years of her life, has lost his wife, who he presumably loved dearly, and it would be expected that he might react poorly to you wanting to take all of her mementos from him. Not to mention the understandable fear of being unable to support himself, on top of all his grief. He may not be able to work, or at least find a decent job in the line of work he was in previously, I suspect there is more to it than them simply "refusing" to work.

Now I know you gave him some money and hoped that would shut him up, but again, he's grieving and it sounds like you may have treated him less than kindly (based on how you speak about him here). Have you gone over to the house in person and attempted to mend fences with him? Have you commiserated over the loss of someone you both loved? Or have you just sent angry or threatening letters?

Under intestate succession, it's my understanding that the surviving spouse does not get everything; generally assets are divided between the spouse and any children; the formula will vary by state. Life insurance is not part of the estate but passes directly to the beneficiary, same with the IRA that had a beneficiary. Any jointly owned assets will remain with the surviving co-owner in most cases, again without needing probate. Any other assets, anything owned in her name only, any bank accounts without beneficiaries, that would have to be distributed via probate. Same with jewelry or other valuable personal property. But personal effects with no monetary value, there's not much sense bogging down the courts with that since there's little they can do to truly FORCE someone to turn them over; it's not like they would send your stepdad to jail or anything.

IMO, though, you need to take a huge step back, put yourself in stepdad's shoes, and try to work things out like grownups. Stop thinking of him as your enemy. And don't expect the legal system to substitute for people being civil to each other.
 



Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top