Rotten apple no more

[GeorgiaW]

What is the name of your state? WA

I found out after my father passed away that I had been written out of his will. At the attorney’s office (for the reading of his will), my mother said that my father had wanted to re-write the will to include me. However, due to his sudden passing from a heart attack, he never got around to it. In this meeting were my two brothers, myself, the attorney and his assistant. The conclusion from that meeting was that my mother is to re-write her will (since my father left her with almost everything), and that I will be included.

I suspect one of my brothers is exerting some influence over her existence and will not allow her to re-write her will. What options do I have?

 

[tranquility]

Exert some counter-influence. Take her to dinner to a place she likes. Call her every few days and talk with her. Bring her flowers every once in a while, just because she's your mother. Try not to do this in the hope of getting anything, but because you love her.

If you can't do all the above, and more, on "spec" if you will, you don't deserve to be written into the will.

 

[nextwife]

Exert some counter-influence. Take her to dinner to a place she likes. Call her every few days and talk with her. Bring her flowers every once in a while, just because she's your mother. Try not to do this in the hope of getting anything, but because you love her.

If you can't do all the above, and more, on "spec" if you will, you don't deserve to be written into the will.

Simply be a good son and be there for her. Pick up dinner or groceries for her sometimes. Go to doctors appointments with her.

Not because of what you may get or not get. When my dad died, 100% of his estate went to our mother. And we truly hoped she'd live long enough to use up her assets, but she was too conservative, and never enjoyed her final years like she could have. We would rather she had done more for herself, travelled more, and left less behind.

And a good child should hope their parent gets to enjoy their assets, and doesn't worry about what they will get from them. What we got was the home and love we were provided growing up, and the start to life they gave us. After that, they don't "owe" us anything else.

 

[Dandy Don]

What year did your father die? You need to visit the county courthouse to get a copy of his will and examine it. If there is nothing in the will showing a specific reason for his disinheriting you, then consult an attorney to see if you have legal grounds for contesting it.

And consider asking your mother to make her estate administration easier for the beneficiaries by setting aside specific amounts, designating specific, individual beneficiaries for her assets (such as setting up individual bank accounts or CD's that show the names of each beneficiary) so that you won't be cheated again if this brother changes or destroys the will. Let her know that you are concerned about being cheated again so that she needs to name an independent outside third party, such as an attorney or the trust department of a bank, to be executor/trustee instead of this dishonest brother. Having a will is fine but she can also have other assets outside of the will if she wants to.

And she needs to inform each beneficiary of what she has done and give them documentation to show what they will get, so that the executor is not the only one who knows what is going on with the estate.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])