Trouble Getting My "Stuff" From Mom's House

[joseph17]

Mom died in May of 1999. I had stored my personal belongings in an upstairs bedroom and attic, in her house. Since she died, I have been trying to get my "stuff" from my 2 brothers (one is Executor and the other lives in Mom's house).

Since I did not pay over to them the insurance proceeds which Mom split among the three of us (they claimed Mom wanted one of my brother's to have it all),they have been stonewalling me, and now say that it is all my brother's "stuff" because Mom willed the house and everything in it to my brother who lives there, and that it would be too stressful to go through everything now... maybe in a couple years! I have been told that it is still my stuff, whether or not the house and its contents have been willed to my brother.

Although the items are not extensively valuable, they are more of sentimental value, yearbooks, toys, college papers, photographs, paintings, clothes, etc., which had accumulate over some 30 years.

Do you have any suggestions as to how I can convince them to allow me to get my belongings, short of a lawsuit?

Thanks.
Joe/NJ

 

[ALawyer]

The death of a parent can either divide a family or unite the family. All sorts of ancient childhood "inequities", slights and frustrations and anger can come out. It can be made manifest by one sibling refusing access to some property of the others that has nothing but sentimental value, or another refusing to pay out funds that he knows were intended to be shared.

Instead of a lawyer, I urge all the siblings to sit down with a grief therapist and have some joint family counselling. It's cheaper and more effective in a matter like this.

 

[joseph17]

Getting My "Stuff" Out of Mom's House

Thanks for your advice regarding having the 3 of us sit down with a grief therapist.

Last year, I tried going to a family therapist with my 2 brothers, and the therapist put out the question, do we want to make decisions regarding these matters according to what we think Mom would have wanted, or do we want to make decisions according to what the 3 of us, as brothers decide together for the best of all of us?

Well, they, of course said that they wanted to make decisions according to what they believe that Mom would have wanted them to do, and I said, it would be good to make decisions together as a family for the best of all of us.

After that, they refused to come back for follow-up sessions. I certainly can ask if they would be willing to come to counseling (will have to find a grief therapist), but I don't have too much confidence that they are open to discussion.

So they are back to stonewalling me. If that is still the case, is there any other alternative to legal action? If not, what is the legal action which I could take to re-claim my belongings?

Thanks.
Joe/NJ