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D.D.D.

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law) I live in Oregon, but the problem is in California, Santa Clara Co. It's a growing and terrible problem.
My Father passed away in 1987 in Calif. His mom died there in 1984. most all my other relatives before and since. I just this year found out that I was left out of any inheiritence from him or her including personal and promised items, life insurance, IRA's, stocks, bonds ect...
I have always just assumed that all went to my mother (who is now 74) and the family trust. (only 3 children, in our 50's, my brother and myself are sadly without children) and three grandchildren in early 20's)
But just recently I found an old letter from mom to my older sister (52) dated 3 months after dad passed asking her to fill out a form and to send her S.S.# so she could directly deposit checks to her and talked about taking investment classes and saving the info for her. (I never received such a letter)
I've also learned lately that she has sold or donated or given everything to my sister (her favorite)and her kids and my brother as well! When I asked her for a momento from my aunt that just passed, she told me "Theres nothing left... I didn't think you wanted anything! She never asked!
She even sold or gave away my own personal things from growing up !! (including all my barbie dolls and trolls worth big $$) just a couple years ago without telling or asking me!!
She won't tell me why, she won't discuss it, she and my sister have made up horrible distructive lies about both me and my husband...so bad my husband now wants to sue for defamation and slander!!
Now I find out they've both been involved after other family members deaths and taking things out of order and keeping one whole estate away from her sister(my aunt)...a rightful heir! needless to say they no longer speak to each other.
I suppose I should have had a clue before now, but I really never could have imagined such things were going on!! and none of them ever let on.
They just lie or deny EVERYTHING! and keep saying "prove it"! or it's "all in my imagination".I can't even trust my mother!! What can I do about it??
She said I'm in the trust for the house when she dies, but she won't send a copy of the trust, or a tape with my dad's voice talking or the family tree, nothing!, she won't even answer a question without lying or hanging up on me! They totally deny there was ANY money involved ever.
Do I have to allow them to erase me and keep me from my family?
Has it been too long to do anything about it? 21 years now.
If not, What can I do?? Is there any way for me to find out what he left and to whom?
I'm not a selfish or greedy person, But I don't want to be a TOTAL fool either. Mom is an alcoholic and on pain meds for a long time. My sister has always been a chronic liar and manipulater.
Doesen't a trustee or a executor have to follow rules?
I only know the house is in the family trust but I don't know if dad or anyone had a will. Any advise would be appriciated. Thanks, D.D.D.
 
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anteater

Senior Member
Paragraphs are you friend.

And, from just a skim, try cutting out 2/3rds. That you married at 19, became a "christian" and moved to the mountains is nice but not relevant
 

divgradcurl

Senior Member
Agree with Anteater.

But if this is your issue:

My Father passed away in 1987 in Calif. His mom died there in 1984. most all my other relatives before and since. I just this year found out that I was left out of any inheiritence from him or her including personal and promised items, life insurance, IRA's, stocks, bonds ect.
why did it take you 20 years to find out anything? Even if you were entitled to something -- I didn't read the whole novel, so I don't know -- it's probably far too late to do anything about it now.
 

D.D.D.

Junior Member
I'm sorry. I'm new at this stuff, and distraught over the whole thing. Just thought background may be of use.
So, it's too late to do anything about it?
Anyway to learn the truth? or see a will?
My dad would never have left me out of anything, or been unfair to any of us. I know this.
I never expected anything from anyone, but assumed all would be divided equally after mom passes. I assumed wrong.
I don't beleive her to be a competant trustee. She stole from me and lied about it all.
My sister has been negatively influencing her for years as well.

DDD.
 

Dandy Don

Senior Member
You need to contact the Santa Clara County Superior Court (look up their website online) to call their probate court records office to inquire to see whether any probate was done for your father (since this is so far back there is not likely going to be anything on the online records for you to check since that is mostly recently filed cases).

If there is a probate you can order copies of the file to see how the estate was handled and whether you were named as beneficiary. However, it appears from your description that most or all of the assets were put in the trust so there may be no probate at all.

If the assets are in trust, then you would have not need to have been contacted by the trustee unless you were named as a beneficiary. So the fact that you were not contacted could mean that you were not named as a beneficiary in your father's trust if he wanted most of his assets to go to his wife to help take care of her while she is alive.

Since your mother was kind enough to tell you that you are probably a beneficiary in her trust, STOP ASKING HER QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS or she may get mad enough to disinherit you from the trust. Be gracious enough to thank her for including you in it and tell her you will not be bothering her about this anymore. You have no right to any trust information while she is alive, so you are being somewhat of a pest although I do understand you want to know what is going on. You won't be able to find out anything about the trust until after she dies.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])
 

tecate

Member
There is a recent thread in which I disagreed with the premise that when first parent dies and there is a living trust, everything goes to survivor. If your parents formed an "a\b" or "a\b\c" type living trust, the trustee should have sequestered and allocated some or all of your father's interest in the community assets and his separate assets into separate trust accounts. Unfortunately, from time to time, the surviving spouse ignores the agreement made with the first spouse to die, and treats everything as having passed to him or her. If this is what happened, you may not find out until your mother passes on, if ever. If there is foul play to your detriment, the statute of limitations to sue probably hasn't begun to run. (This is the penalty for hiding the ball.)

That being said, it is also possible that everything passed to your mother, and that she is dealing with her estate as she pleases.

It looks like you and your family have already had a nasty fight. Sometimes this is all it takes for a parent to change plans.
 

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