Will issues - seprated for twenty years

[concernedone]

I have a sticky situation:
- I'm having a will drafted
- I have two children (both over 30) and five grand children all ages 2-7
- I've been separated from my wife for twenty years. Not legally separated, but living continuously apart.
- I wish to leave all of my assets to my children and if anything should happen to them, to my grandchildren
- my wife is mentally unstable (big depresion problems) and she is incapable of handling finances
- she is currently living comfortably from SSI and her part of my Social Security. My son handles her finances
- she has never worked outside the home
- because of all the problems we've had, it would never be my intent to let her benefit from my death
- she has a pretty good relationship with my children, however there is a threat of mental instability which could make matters real difficult
- I've heard that if I draft a will, and she contests it, all of my assets will go to her, leaving none to my children which is my intent
- I've also heard that if I pursue a divorce, she's likely to get half of what I have, even though most of my current assets were earned AFTER we separated
- because of her mental condition, talk of a divorce may worsen her depression instantly and significantly. She could revert to her "vindictive personality" and make a ton of trouble for me and my children.

Help! I really want to get this resolved!

Thank You

 

[ALawyer]

This is a rather complex situation as your marital situation is somewhat ambiguous -- besides I do not know what state you are in (laws vary -- and in some states post separeatio assets are disregarded) or what papers if any have been signed to date.

You should really see a lawyer and work with the lawyer to prepare a Will that leaves everything to the kids (she'd be bounced from SSI if she comes into money) and perhaps get her to agree to waive any rights to your estate or put any elective share she'd get in a special trust for her benefit with the principal to go to the kids at death.

But this is one of those times that ambiguity can create problems, and you'd do yousrelf, your kids and grandkids a favor if you attend to it.