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Custody issue question

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PropTN

New member
Tennessee

I (M49) and taking my daughter's (11) mother (F49) to court for child neglect. I have a mountain of evidence, and i did not take this decision lightly.
We did a custody schedule when daughter was 2, so while we have joint legal and physical custody, my ex (never married) had more days(on paper) as i didn't want to keep my then 2 year old away from her mom for half of the time.
Over the years, i often had my daughter 80% of the time, my ex had depression and was in bed a lot. 4 and a half years ago, my ex approached me for us to informally change the days, and she presented a schedule that was exactly 50 50. We changed to this schedule, but up until 2 years ago, my daughter still spent more time than the schedule allowed. 2 year ago, i came across some evidence that alarmed me about my ex, i confronted her. Since that time, she has stuck strictly to the schedule, the new informal one that she had suggested 2 years prior.
Over the last 2 years, i have tried to give my ex the benefit of the doubt, but she keeps blowing it, so i am currently taking her to court for child neglect. She was served 2 weeks ago, court case is in 8 weeks.
Yesterday, she emailed me, i assume at the direction of her lawyer saying that as we never formally changed the schedule, she is insisting on the original schedule we set 9 years ago. So, i am taking my ex to court for child neglect, and because i am trying to do the right thing for my daughter, i then have her less until its legally changed, and she is with her mom who again, i am talking to court for neglect.
I say a precedent has been set by the fact that we followed the informal schedule for years, but my lawyer says i have to roll over and do it.
Has anyone had a similar issue? My thought is to say no and stick with the schedule, that i can prove was changed by us 4 to 5 years ago. My daughter goes to a private school, on the days my ex has her, she has to stay in an after-school program which i pay for until ex gets off work. That schedule alone corresponds to our informal custody schedule as i work from home and pick up my daughter when its my turn as school is out
Any advice? I don't want to have the wrath of the judge, but i feel the precedent was set by my ex who suggested the change.
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
Tennessee

I (M49) and taking my daughter's (11) mother (F49) to court for child neglect. I have a mountain of evidence, and i did not take this decision lightly.
We did a custody schedule when daughter was 2, so while we have joint legal and physical custody, my ex (never married) had more days(on paper) as i didn't want to keep my then 2 year old away from her mom for half of the time.
Over the years, i often had my daughter 80% of the time, my ex had depression and was in bed a lot. 4 and a half years ago, my ex approached me for us to informally change the days, and she presented a schedule that was exactly 50 50. We changed to this schedule, but up until 2 years ago, my daughter still spent more time than the schedule allowed. 2 year ago, i came across some evidence that alarmed me about my ex, i confronted her. Since that time, she has stuck strictly to the schedule, the new informal one that she had suggested 2 years prior.
Over the last 2 years, i have tried to give my ex the benefit of the doubt, but she keeps blowing it, so i am currently taking her to court for child neglect. She was served 2 weeks ago, court case is in 8 weeks.
Yesterday, she emailed me, i assume at the direction of her lawyer saying that as we never formally changed the schedule, she is insisting on the original schedule we set 9 years ago. So, i am taking my ex to court for child neglect, and because i am trying to do the right thing for my daughter, i then have her less until its legally changed, and she is with her mom who again, i am talking to court for neglect.
I say a precedent has been set by the fact that we followed the informal schedule for years, but my lawyer says i have to roll over and do it.
Has anyone had a similar issue? My thought is to say no and stick with the schedule, that i can prove was changed by us 4 to 5 years ago. My daughter goes to a private school, on the days my ex has her, she has to stay in an after-school program which i pay for until ex gets off work. That schedule alone corresponds to our informal custody schedule as i work from home and pick up my daughter when its my turn as school is out
Any advice? I don't want to have the wrath of the judge, but i feel the precedent was set by my ex who suggested the change.
What is the alleged neglect?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Uninhabitable house, dirty house, leaving child with anyone she can to go to bondage parties, mixing meds to get high, manipulating child to think she has issues etc. There is a lot.
What happened with the CPS (DCS) investigation? You DID contact CPS (DCS), right?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
You should really listen to your lawyer, or get a second opinion if you don't trust the one you're currently working with.
I agree. Your attorney knows the climate of the local courts and if he says you have to roll with it, then it is probably safest to roll with it. Also, you don't really have the option to say no. The actual court orders remain in effect until a court changes them.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Lawyer decided taking her to court to get custody until she fixed the situation was the way to go
It sounds like the conditions are a tool that you wish to use and not an actual danger to the children for which you wish prompt action to be taken to ensure their safety.
 

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