stepparent Adoption/Reversal or Adult Adoption options?

[Glitterstorm]

Nebraska

I was adopted when I was 9 years old. My stepfather was emotionally and physically abusive. I am now 42 and recently located my bio-father and am beginning to form a father/daughter relationship with him, which I NEVER had with my stepfather (adoptive father). My relationship with mother is complicated because she refuses to admit there was any abuse and thinks my bio-dad is the devil and my stepfather is perfect...

Basically, my problem is that no longer want my adoptive-dad (stepfather) on my birth certificate. However, I really don't feel it's anyone's business now that I'm an adult.

I have a few questions and I apologize in advance, I just don't know where to start...

1. Is there a way to simply reverse the adoption and have my original birth certificate restored with my bio-dad's name listed? If so, would my mother/stepfather be notified?

2. If reversal is not possible, could I do an adult adoption and have my bio-dad adopt me in order to basically restore my original birth certificate? If so, again, would anyone be notified?

3. Is it possible to eliminate a father altogether as neither of them honestly deserve to be called that... leave my mother's name and change my name legally to her maiden name? This seems convoluted but would be my dream outcome.

Thank you for reading and thank you in advance for any help/suggestions. I'm truly lost.

 

[LdiJ]

Nebraska

I was adopted when I was 9 years old. My stepfather was emotionally and physically abusive. I am now 42 and recently located my bio-father and am beginning to form a father/daughter relationship with him, which I NEVER had with my stepfather (adoptive father). My relationship with mother is complicated because she refuses to admit there was any abuse and thinks my bio-dad is the devil and my stepfather is perfect...

Basically, my problem is that no longer want my adoptive-dad (stepfather) on my birth certificate. However, I really don't feel it's anyone's business now that I'm an adult.

I have a few questions and I apologize in advance, I just don't know where to start...

1. Is there a way to simply reverse the adoption and have my original birth certificate restored with my bio-dad's name listed? If so, would my mother/stepfather be notified?

2. If reversal is not possible, could I do an adult adoption and have my bio-dad adopt me in order to basically restore my original birth certificate? If so, again, would anyone be notified?

3. Is it possible to eliminate a father altogether as neither of them honestly deserve to be called that... leave my mother's name and change my name legally to her maiden name? This seems convoluted but would be my dream outcome.

Thank you for reading and thank you in advance for any help/suggestions. I'm truly lost.

You can change your name to anything that you like. That does not require an adoption. An adoption cannot be reversed. You would not be able to be adopted by your biological father without ending up removing your mother from your birth certificate as well. This site gives some information about adult adoption in Nebraska:

http://adoptingback.com/adopting-back/united-states-adult-adoption-law/

 

[Taxing Matters]

1. Is there a way to simply reverse the adoption and have my original birth certificate restored with my bio-dad's name listed? If so, would my mother/stepfather be notified?

That is not possible. Under Nebraska statute, once the adoption is done it is “conclusively presumed that the adoption and all instruments and proceedings in connection therewith are valid in all respects notwithstanding some defect or defects may appear on the face of the record, or the absence of any record of such court, unless an action is brought within two years from the entry of such decree of adoption attacking its validity. Neb. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 43-116. Based on this statute, the Nebraska Supreme Court rejected a request to vacate an adoption in a situation much like yours. In that case, the adopted person, Diana, wanted to reverse her adoption by her step-father because he had been abusive to her while she was a child. The Supreme Court said that the statute did not authorize vacating adoptions after the two years was over:

Section 43–116 fails to provide a basis upon which to grant Diana's requested relief. Diana has neither claimed nor offered evidence of any procedural defect or invalidity which would provide a basis in law under § 43–116 to set aside the adoption. We have recognized that allegations of fraud or estoppel, in an unusual situation, might toll the 2–year time limit in which to bring a legal challenge to an adoption. In re Adoption of Trystyn D., 259 Neb. 539, 611 N.W.2d 112 (2000). We need not address whether the 2–year time limit is tolled in this case, however, because § 43–116 provides no basis for Diana to bring the present action. As a result, the county court correctly determined that it lacked the authority to grant Diana's petition. “[T]he matter of adoption is statutory, **851 and the manner of procedure and terms are all specifically prescribed and must be followed.” In re Adoption of Kassandra B. & Nicholas B., 248 Neb. 912, 918, 540 N.W.2d 554, 558 (1995). See, also, Kellie v. Lutheran Family & Social Service, 208 Neb. 767, 305 N.W.2d 874 (1981); In re Petition of Ritchie, 155 Neb. 824, 53 N.W.2d 753 (1952)....

Nebraska's current adoption statutes do not permit Diana's adoption to be set aside.
​

In re Adoption of Hemmer, 260 Neb. 827, 831, 619 N.W.2d 848, 851 (2000)

2. If reversal is not possible, could I do an adult adoption and have my bio-dad adopt me in order to basically restore my original birth certificate? If so, again, would anyone be notified?

That is not possible in Nebraska. The Nebraska statute only allows for adult adoption by anyone other than a stepparent if the person who will adopt you had acted in the place of a parent for at least the six months prior to you turning 19 (the age of majority in Nebraska) and certain other conditions were met. An adult may only be adopted in Nebraska if they meet the specific requirements for adoption in the statute. “Adoption proceedings do not depend upon equitable principles. Where the essential statutory requirements have not been met, equity cannot decree an adoption.” Appeal of Ritchie, 155 Neb. 824, 829, 53 N.W.2d 753, 756 (1952).

You might be able to do an adult adoption if you now live in some other state; in that case that other state’s law would control. Whether that would allow a change to your Nebraska birth certificate, I don’t know. Doing that might cut off your mother’s position as your legal mother, so you need to be sure of what the effect of the adoption would be.

3. Is it possible to eliminate a father altogether as neither of them honestly deserve to be called that... leave my mother's name and change my name legally to her maiden name? This seems convoluted but would be my dream outcome.

You may change your name to anything you want. But you cannot just remove your adopted father and have the father space on the birth record be blank.